Observations from my world

Mentally I have switched into holiday mode. Thoughts bouncing around, people that I want to spend time with, and ready to unwind from the normal routine. So a few of the random things bouncing around in my thoughts. Some maybe insightful, others that just struck me.

• I was behind a normal looking white pickup truck that had the following on its tailgate - Construction vehicle do not follow. So to what extreme do I take that rule? I was behind him on the street so technically I was following him. What are the consequences now that I was following him? Really, have they had a bunch of people following them that they needed to warn people about it? And is that an effective way to warn people - don't do _______ (fill in the blank). Don't think that argument has ever once convinced me to not do something. (Not real good at following rules anyway. Even if I know the purpose.) Wonder what other random instructions we can put on the back of our vehicles - Give me cash? Wonder if that will prompt people to obey it and hand me loads of money. May be worth looking into.
• When you are having a discussion with someone, try this the next time. Simply state - "you're wrong" when they have finished explaining it to you. Odds are they will simply restate, or maybe just repeat, what they just said before. We think if we repeat something, or say it louder, or with more emphasis that it will suddenly convince them to see that we are right. Wonder if instead we simply asked "why?" to their statement of "you're wrong", if we may actually learn something and move forward?
• I enjoy having conversation with people who see things clearly as black or white. You know those people who say a movie is incredible or horrible. Nothing in between. Often the same ones who clearly state their opinion as a fact. It is simple to them - just agree with them and you are brilliant, otherwise, you just don't get it. I more often than not see things as gray, so to the black and white people, I have lots of questions. Questions that may drive them nuts. Not trying to be a pain (well, sometimes I am), but just don't understand how things can always be so clean cut for them. The are few things that I can clearly state as black and white. I don't think I am wishy-washy either (Am I?), just not ready to say that I couldn't possibly be wrong about something.
• I laugh to myself when someone thinks they have me figured out. Funny because I don't understand me half of the time, so if you have me pegged in a certain box, more likely than not, I will do something outside of that at some point.

Hope everyone has a great Christmas! Enjoy the slower pace and time with your family and friends. Find the time to have some good conversations and catch you again after Christmas (maybe even before, but no guarantees).

Brainstorming

Do bad ideas scare you? Are you frozen by the thought of coming up with a plan that might not work? Does it have to be perfect before you launch the idea?

I love brainstorming. The process of coming up with ideas to attack a problem. Lots of ideas, some bad, some good and some great. The thing is though a lot of people only want to discuss the great. I get that, but usually there are a lot of "bad" ones before getting to that great one. The part of brainstorming I like best is that it involves others. See I might come up with a good idea once in a great while, but with a group the chance that we come up with a great idea is a lot better. Oh, there might be a lot of ideas that get tossed to the side in the process, but we each play a part in refining the idea. Never understood the leader who doesn't bring in others as part of the team. Others take offense if their "perfect" idea gets thrown out. It scares them to the point of shutting down. They get bogged down in the details and start arguing their idea without listening. I want to hold on loosely to my ideas. Some that I think might be really good ones, turn out to be bad. That's okay because it is a process to find the best, not about me coming up with the perfect idea.

So are you tentative with your ideas? Do you wait until you have all of your ducks in row before tossing an idea out? Do bad ideas scare you? Wonder how many bad ideas we need to sort through before we find the right one?

One step after another

"Watch your thoughts they become words. Watch your words they become actions. Watch your actions they become habits. Watch your habits they become character. Watch your character it becomes your destiny." - Patrick Overton

It is a path. One step leading to another. The habit you are trying to break started somewhere as a thought. Then you gave voice to that thought. Then you acted on it. Now it is a habit. Will it become part of your character? But what if instead of a bad habit you want to develop a good one. It starts with the thought. Maybe the character you want to develop is already a thought you have. Now give it a voice. What action does it require you to take? How does it become a habit that will develop the character you desire? We don't just happen to end up at our destiny one day, we are choosing it with each step along the way. What step are you going to take today? Maybe it requires a step in another direction or maybe you are on the path you want to be, the path leads somewhere, you get to choose the direction though.

The event that is changing my world

18 years ago today an event took place that changed my life - our wedding. After 18 years, I am still learning the process of marriage. It continues to require my attention and as much attention to the details today as when it started way back then. I still like to date my wife. I like talking to her late at night about the important things and stuff I find amusing. Those things haven't changed, but our dates may look different today and the topics we cover have changed (Well some of them. I tend to cycle on some of my conversations and probably what I find amusing is still pretty similar to back then. Though I may voice it more now.) We have continued to change and grow through those years and our marriage continues to grow as well. I chose to love my wife way back then and I choose to continue to love her today. (I would say "fell in love", but that makes it sound like an accident. I choose to love her.)

Looking back at our wedding is a little strange. Our flower girls and ring bearer will graduate from college this next year. I am still good friends with one of my groomsmen, while Lisa continues to have a great friendship with her maid of honor. I watched as two of my groomsmen went through divorces and then slowly lost contact with them. Many of the people who were there have filtered out of our lives, others continue to be a large part of it. We have developed new friendships, had three incredible boys, lived through multiple job changes, had a variety of ups and downs that life has thrown at us during the 18 years since our wedding. The thing is, I am still madly in love with the woman I said "I do" to all of those years ago. Marriage is an adventure that takes place over the years. The wedding ceremony that occurred 18 years ago was just the start to that adventure. Can't wait to see where the adventure takes us next. I am just glad that I get to experience it with my wife.

Critic vs. appreciative

What is your mindset? Are you the critic? The person who sees flaws in any plan, can point out several things that need to be fixed, notices the issues in others. Or is your mindset one of appreciation? Do you see the potential in the plan, notice the things that work well, see the positives of those around you? Last night we had the chance to share with part of our church staff and their families how we appreciate them. The chance to verbally confirm them and share with them the incredible impact we see them making. It is one of the best working teams that I've seen. A mutual respect for each other's strengths and what they can bring to the table. Easy to come up with a list of things we appreciate in them.

We knew ahead of time (they didn't) that would be part of the evening. It allowed us the chance to reflect and think about the many day to day things they do that we appreciate. Made me wonder if other meetings couldn't be like that. What if the next meeting I attended, I took time before hand to think about the things I appreciate in the people going to be there and what we are trying to accomplish? What if going in, I was already thankful for the various personalities, strengths and insights that would be there? Wonder if my mindset going into the meeting was that of appreciation instead of critic, if that would change how the meeting went? Instead of finding the flaws, what if we focused on the positives. A simple change in my mindset could make a difference. What is the difficult thing you are dealing with? Could a change of mindset make a positive impact there? To me it seems like it might be worth the work ahead of time to change from critical to thankful.

Events and the costs of love

I read the following quote on Seth Godin's blog - "It's a process, not an event." He mentions that dating is a process. So is losing weight. Events are a one time occurrence, like having surgery or a wedding ceremony. Events we can manage. We get excited about them and prepare for them because it is one moment in time. Processes are building for the long term. It is a daily exercise that is moving us towards something in the future. I wonder how often we treat our faith like an event instead of a process? It isn't a one time decision, it is process. Kind of like losing weight it is day by day decisions. I think we are often guilty of making being a Christian sound easy. We say It is a decision we make, but really it a process of pursuing being more like Jesus every day. Not an event. Not easy. A tough process that will produce results, but it may be a long time in getting there.

Here is what I've been wrestling with since last night. I John 3:17-18 says "If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." So the question I've been trying to answer is this. How have I loved in such a way that has cost me anything? Is our love merely nice words to someone, but we don't do anything about it? Those actions will most likely cost me money, time or giving something of myself. What is your love costing you? If we answer that nothing, then are we really showing love?

Starting with the end in mind

It is getting close to Christmas (late spoiler alert if you weren't already aware of that fact). Christmas seems to eventually (after surviving black Friday, fighting the annoying holiday traffic, stressing over what gifts to buy, the non-stop Christmas parties, etc.) bring people to think about a little baby in a manger. Most people are aware of the story, but what we seem to forget is that it all started with the end in mind. We focus on the cute little baby, but forget it was for Him to be a sacrifice, a beaten and bloody Savior, that He came.

I've had the chance to hold a couple of adorable little babies recently. They are incredibly precious and it is amazing to consider the way they have already grown. It blows my mind to think of all of the intrinsic things that happen as a baby grows even before the delivery. Amazing stuff!

No matter how incredibly cute we were as babies though that isn't what people remember about us. See it is about how we finish. It is the daily choices we make as we grow. I wonder if we kept asking the question - how will that effect the ending? - if we would live our lives differently. We want to pretend that the choice we make today doesn't effect anything, but reality is that each choice moves us in a direction. Each of those steps is moving us toward our end. What do you want your ending to look like? How do you want to be remembered? Will each choice you make today move you in that direction? Are you starting with the end in mind? If not, then it will be pretty difficult to arrive there.

What if

Am I the only one who spends too much time on the "what ifs" of life? I wonder what they will think; what if it makes things awkward; what if they don't agree with me; what if I am wrong; what if if makes me look foolish; what if...

"What if" often leads me to doing nothing. I let my insecurities keep me from living life at its fullest. Can we become too passive and settle for just okay because we are afraid of the "what ifs"? It may be okay for me to ask "what if" sometimes, maybe even wise, but I can't let it keep me from moving forward. Caution isn't bad, but fear of the unknown or being uncomfortable can't be an excuse for not taking action.

I think I realized today that if I keep from doing the hard things because of my insecurities, accepting that things can't change, and that the risks aren't worth moving forward; then I may some day reach the point that I am asking a different kind of "what if" question. "What if" I had tried to make a difference, what if my silence lead to a friendship being lost, what if my insecurities kept me from impacting someones life, what if...

Towards the end "what if" sounds more like regret than caution. Will I fall? Will I make mistakes? Will I still feel insecure in my decisions? - probably, but I would rather try to pursue what is right, than live passively and with regret for the things that might have been.

"What if" can be seen with the view of the glass as half empty, but it can also see the potential of the glass as half full. I want to live a life of risk, not one that settles. So what do you think? What if...

The Gutter

I just finished reading "The Gutter" by Craig Gross. Let me quote from the ending of the book:

"So often pastors or professional speakers can say all the right things and have three-point sermons that sound great, but the Bible should compel you past words and into action. Jesus' words are not meant just to be read once a week, or heard on Sunday morning. Jesus spent little time actually speaking; He was mostly involved in doing.

Too often we sit through church, and when it's over, we think we're done with our work for the week. That is wrong, wrong, wrong. You cannot live out your faith based solely on what other people tell you; you cannot be okay with merely consuming information. You must be convicted to take action for God."

So what is your action? The gutter you are called to may be different than mine. It may look totally different in how you approach it. You may have different skeptics and different people telling you that you can't do it that way. The gutter we go to isn't the main point. The point is that we take Jesus' love there. Are we going to do something or are we content to sit on the sidelines and be critics? Being a critic is easy. It doesn't involve any effort or risk. Also it doesn't look much like Jesus. Bottom line - go and do something!

Both sides of the coin

It's that time of the year when people seem more likely to give and still it is also the time of the year when selfishness can rule. I have been thinking a lot about this recently. Those able to give and those in need each have a unique perspective. I've been on both sides of that coin. Having plenty and barely getting by.

What if I spend a couple thousands dollars on a new TV, or laptop, or buy a new car, or new clothes? Do I need it? Could that money be better spent on helping someone who is struggling just to get by?

What if I am struggling just to make it from paycheck to paycheck? Can I rejoice in the blessings that others have? Can I truly be happy for them and not feel envious of them or jealous? Not holding it against them that it seems like they may have more or even God for that matter?

See each has the ability to give. Some may have the ability to give materially, but we all have the choice to place others ahead of ourselves. We have the ability to give grace and love. That may look like paying someones bills instead of buying something else for ourselves. It may also look like celebrating the fact that someone else may be able to buy things you can't. See it isn't really about the amount of money we have or even the things we can or can't buy. It is about looking outside of ourselves and seeing the important. It is that time of the year (really it should be that time of the year all of the time, but...). What side of the coin are you on? Will you choose to give today?

Learning new words

I love Thanksgiving week. It seems like most people are already in Christmas mode (which I love Christmas as well) and tend to just fly by Thanksgiving. That's a shame. I like that we have a time that is set aside to pause and realize some of the things we can be thankful for. We don't seem to do that enough. We are so focused on the next thing that we seldom slow down and consider what we have that we can be thankful for. Thanksgiving and contentment don't seem to be real popular in practice. Seems to be a good theory most people buy into and want others to have, but aren't willing to experience it themselves. So what or who are you thankful for? Good question for me to ask myself as I wrestle with being content and trying to love others in my life.

A few random words that caught my attention this last week - opaque and editable. Lisa and I were discussing what it meant if something was opaque. I thought it meant you could kind of see through something, but not real clearly. Lisa thought is meant something more like a frosted window. She was of course right. It means impenetrable to sight. I'm not even sure that editable is even a word, but it was being used to convey that it was something that could be edited and not locked down. This was in a meeting that I was in for work. I was rather amused because I kept thinking edible in my mind. As they discussed it more, I kept trying to imagine someone trying to eat the things they were talking about. This is what happens when a creative mind (or maybe I am just A.D.D.) gets bored in a meeting. You start making things more interesting in your head to keep yourself entertained.

Here is the connection I made this morning between this two words (and you just thought it was some random story). As I have attempted to become less transparent with some people, or more opaque if you will, I have realized my life has become less editable (not edible, stay focused here). Without the transparency, I can become more set in my ways. I become less open to change because I can keep it all hidden from sight. Like an opaque window you can't see what is going on behind it. It might be good for privacy, but rarely does it help us to edit the areas in our life that may need to change. So what do you think opaque or transparent? Is transparency kind of like Thanksgiving, good in theory, but not something people put into practice? Wonder if my desire to be transparent works in a world where most people are more comfortable behind their opaque images?

Forgotten

Are you bitter? Have you been betrayed? Do you feel disconnected? Have you been broken in life and don't know what to do? Are you one of the forgotten? Do you approach life as a skeptic? Are you an outcast? Are you the religious one?

I'm reading "Jesus Loves You This I Know" by Craig Gross and Jason Harper. Do you see yourself in the list above? Those are the ones Jesus loves. They also happen to be who each of the chapters are about and how Jesus loves them.

Just finished reading the chapter titled "Jesus Loves the Forgotten". A little quote from there.
"We are taught to step over or on top of others to get ours. They tell little Johnnie to be a "go-getter," but a go-getter is one who takes. Along that trail, we can pass up people who need a smile, a word of hope, a lasting shoulder to lean on. And to stop on the go-getter trail means we get passed up or passed over. That promotion at work rarely goes to the kindest or most compassionate employee. The caring often get kicked and stepped on. So many are consumed with their world that they forget about others. Those others who need to see hope, friendship, and lasting compassion."

Have you ever been the forgotten? Have you ever needed someone to talk to and been alone? Maybe you go unnoticed. Another face in the crowd. Maybe you are surrounded by lots of people, but are still forgotten. You feel that no one sees you. You are the overlooked. I often feel like the forgotten. Fighting against the insecurities of feeling rejected or worse yet, against not even being noticed. But there is hope, Jesus saw the ones everyone else overlooked. Those are the ones he was drawn to. He sought out the forgotten. It is what he does. It is what those who are pursuing Him are supposed to do. Love the forgotten, the broken, the skeptic, the bitter, the outcast and even the religious. Who do you need to love today?

Finally Friday. Let the fun begin!

Working on a new theory here. What if you started each morning trying to accomplish what was stated in the songs you listen to? The last several songs I heard this morning on my way to work were "Apologize" by One Republic, "Smile" by Uncle Kracker and "Say" by John Mayer (the main chorus says "say what you need to say"). Those sound like a good way to spend the day - smiling, saying what needs to be said, and apologizing when necessary. Now here is where the theory runs into a little trouble. What about the songs "Fireflies" by Owl Cities and "Good Ol' Fashion Nightmare" by Matt & Kim. Haven't quite figured out how to work those in yet.

Have you noticed when someone adds "technically speaking" to what they are saying that means "well if you want to be anal about it". I wonder how we came up with some of the phrases we use?

Couple of realizations that blow my mind. I have been married almost 18 years. I remember when I was 17 and my parents celebrated their 25th anniversary thinking how amazing that was that they had been married that long. (They celebrate 50 this next year. How awesome is that!) Really it seems like it has just flown by. Lisa and I both continue to change and learn new things about each other (Even if she thinks she knows what I am thinking most of the time, which she doesn't. Well, okay, maybe she does as I tend to have two or three reoccurring themes in my thoughts, but still...) while we still date each other and experience life together. Second thought that I still am trying to fully wrap my mind around is that I have a teenager. I have worked with high school students for almost 18 years and now we have one living in our house. Just another one of those moments where I feel like I woke up and was like "Wow! How did we get here so fast!"

Finished the book by Donald Miller the other night (highly recommend it) and have started on "Jesus Loves You This I Know" by Craig Gross. Also still reading "What The Dog Saw" by Malcolm Gladwell (excellent writer and speaker) and "The Gutter" by Craig Gross as well. Any must read books that you have read lately?

Well those are the random Friday morning insights into my mind. Have an incredible weekend! Find a way to make someones weekend extraordinary.

For your consideration

How do you keep the team approach from becoming the committee approach? Big difference in feelings when you talk about someone being a team player versus being on another committee. So what's the difference between a team and a committee? I want to be a part of a team, but can do without more committees.

If you know something you do isn't right, but still carve out that you will still probably do it at times anyways - what does that say? Another favorite of mine is when I am told by someone "that is just the way I am." So can't people change? Isn't who we are determined by our choices? Is "that is just the way I am or the way things are" ever an acceptable answer? I get that people don't like change, but to say you can't change just doesn't seem right to me.

Can't most wrongs or sin be traced back to selfishness? Seems to me if we determined not to be selfish that most of the issues we deal with would be eliminated. Not saying that is easy in any way, but I don't think anyone should ever be told pursuing to be more like Jesus will ever be easy. Probably more fairly stated that it isn't for the weak and may very well be the hardest thing you ever do. Honestly serving your desires is easy compared to trying to serve others.

These are the random things I have been thinking about today. What has sparked your thoughts today?

A memorable scene

I guess this would be part two of my earlier thoughts as I continue to read "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller. I don't know if it is the creative side of me, the part that wants to write, the piece of me that yearns to live a life of significance, the glimpse of an incredible God, or maybe some combination of all four, but this book is challenging me in a completely different way.

The following grabbed my attention and just keeps running through my head tonight. "A good movie has memorable scenes, and a so does a good life." I was thinking about several of those important conversation that I have had during my life. Those life-changing moments. Most of the ones I remember are set somewhere memorable and somewhere different. A conversation had on an observation deck overlooking a lake. One that took place on the top of some rocks that we spent several hours climbing. On Federal hill overlooking the harbor in Baltimore. A conversation while watching the Freemont experience in Las Vegas. The scene wasn't the most important thing, but it was part of what created a memory that I won't forget. What are some of those memorable scenes from your life?

What if our lives were lived in such a way that created memorable scenes in other people's lives? What if we were intentional in making our lives stand out from the normal? What if the way we choose to respond, the way we choose to serve, the way we choose to love - what if those were memorable scenes we could paint into someones life? What if those moments were like the altars that God often had His people build in the old testament? Those reminders of when He rescued them or they were given grace. What if our lives created memorable scenes that others looked back to as they remember seeing a glimpse of what God is like? What memorable scenes are you going to create today?

Writing your story

What is your story? Is your story what you want it to be? I started reading Donald Miller's "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" yesterday. One of the main things he talks about is that we are all telling a story with our lives. Kind of like a movie it can either be a good story or an average one. One of the stories he talks about is his uncle's funeral. His uncle sounded like an amazing man. He writes "I think there was such a sadness at his funeral because his story wasn't finished. If you aren't telling a good story, nobody thinks you died too soon; they just think you died. But my uncle died too soon." Made me wonder if I died if people would think I died too soon or just died. Is your life just another movie that you forget when you walk out or one people thinks ends too soon? I want mine to be one that people think ended too soon.

Another thing it brought out was that in a movie it is the conflict in the main character's life that draws people in. Think about it, if the main character is passive and just dreams about things it wouldn't be a movie that would be worth watching. If our life is just a passive one where we don't do anything, is it a good story? Conflict isn't necessarily fun, but conflict is where we see what the person is made of. If we spend our entire life avoiding the hard things or conflict, do we miss out on seeing the type of character God is developing in us? Where do you need to jump in? What hard thing have you been avoiding? A passive life is one that is soon forgettable. What part of your story are going to write this week? Are you going to develop the character or just let it be an average one?

Kind of like Batman and Robin, but not

When you think of things that make a bad combination, what comes to mind? Idiots and cars? Lousy parents and having kids? Mayo plus anything? (Sorry Kelli, but it is true.) There are a lot of combinations that just shouldn't happen, but I think the worst may be pride and selfishness.

Pride keeps us from reaching out to others and convinces us that we are always right. In may be something as minor as asking directions or may be something more serious. That pride may keep us from going where we need to go or doing what we know we should. Our pride keeps us from being able to open to others. We don't want them to think less of us, even though we may be thinking too highly of ourselves anyway. We keep hiding behind the mask of our pride, not willing to lay it down and be transparent. We don't reach out because it may mean we have to depend on others.

Selfishness is the other partner is this bad duo. Selfishness says that I am the only one who matters. It is about what I want. What I desire. I want to control things. I want and I don't care about others. Selfishness also keeps us to ourselves. We don't want to think about others before the things we want. We close out others so we don't have to even consider them. Selfishness is a quick way to being alone. Have you sees community or unity destroyed? Look closely and I will bet that one, or more likely both, of these are involved.

So are you prideful? Are you selfish? If so, what are you going to do about it? Don't let it tear apart the good things that are possible.

Well behaved is overrated

"Well behaved people have rarely made history." Saw this on a bumper sticker the other day on my way to work. I like this. Not only does it appeal to the part of me that wants to keep people guessing, but I think it rings true. The radical is what makes the difference. Fitting the norm, rarely impacts the bigger picture. So the question is are you radical or well behaved? We are told to be well behaved, but really if we lived a radical life don't you think it would be noticed?

Seems strangely like what Jesus did. He lived a life that turned everything upside down. He was a king, but his purpose was to serve, not be served. He had compassion and loved those that the well behaved said were to be ignored. Instead of being in the church building and hanging with the religious, he was out with the prostitutes, the down-and-out, and the ones society said had no worth. So again, are you making history? If you are a Christian, shouldn't you be a radical instead of the watered down version that we are told is well behaved? Just wondering. Seems I might need to go rock the boat a little and upset the well behaved. The well behaved will be forgotten in the next year (maybe the next hour), but the radical could impact history. What do you think?

Wait...wait... wait for it

Wait. What does that simple word bring to mind for you? Does it create a warm, fuzzy feeling for you? Are you the type who doesn't want to pray for patience because you don't want to wait on the time it will take for you to learn it? Most of us probably fall in the category of not liking to wait. Maybe tolerating it at best. We are the reason that Pop-Tarts can be microwaved. Who has the time to wait 25 seconds for the toaster? We need it in 5 seconds. Matter of fact is there a way we can get it done quicker in maybe 2 seconds? We want it now and we don't want to wait for it.

Most of us probably wouldn't make good farmers. See you have to wait on the harvest. You work and you do the things you are supposed to, but still you have to wait for it to grow. And growing takes time. So you wait. And wait some more. And then probably even a little longer before it is time to harvest. (I have no farming background, but that is my understanding of how it works.) Some things need that time to become usable and serve their purpose.

The other side of waiting is that sometimes we are too slow in acting. We hit "wait" mode and never move forward. We wait for exactly the right time before we make a decision. We want to ponder every possible variable and try to control it all. So we wait, and wait, and continue to wait without moving forward. Then we miss the harvest. We waited too long to plant, we waited for the ideal day with 75 degree temperatures and a slight southerly breeze to act, we waited when we should have been doing our part to help it grow. We wait on the wrong things.

What should you be waiting on? Where do you need to act and quit waiting? My guess is you might have both areas in your life right now. Somethings are worth waiting for, others may require you to act now. So what do you do? No nice solution to wrap it all up. You will just have to wait for that.

It is pretty simple

What is the gutter you came from? Do you remember or are you content in the little bubble you now live in? These are some of my thoughts as I read "The Gutter" by Craig Gross. I tend to forget we all have our own gutters we came from. Mine may not have been the porn industry, a horrible marriage, a drug dealers lifestyle, an absentee dad or prison, but that doesn't mean I didn't come from the gutter. We can't deny our past nor should we forget. We need to remember how lost, alone, and in need of love we were (and still are). As Christians it should drive us to the gutters to show that His love is available to everyone who wants it. It really is that simple. We want to make it more complicated than that, but really the only difference of our faith is that we have been brought out of our gutters. We know His love. We aren't better, just relocated. Two quotes from what I've read so far in the book.

"Don't blame the dark for being dark. Blame the light for not shining on the dark."

"While the missions couldn't be simpler, I've noticed that many of us in the Church would rather sit back and criticize what others do instead of actually doing something ourselves." (The mission is to go to the gutter and show His love. Seems strangely like the Great commission to me.)

So where have you been and what are you going to do? Pretty simple, huh?

What your choices determine

"Who we become is determined by whether we settle for what is permissible or strive for what is beneficial." - Mark Batterson

When we settle, we accept something less than what we could have. When we strive, we pursue something with great energy. Which would you rather describe you? Settling is so easy. It is our comfort zone. It is the familiar. It has the least road blocks. We decide to accept the okay instead of pursue the great. Are there any areas where you would choose the fourth best of something when you could have the best? Settling is a compromise of what we believe. We decide to take the easy instead of working for the harder.

I like the part that says "who we become". The choices we make, the areas we settle in, the things we strive for... they determine who we are becoming. We can wish we were becoming somebody, but the choices we make will determine who that actually is. So are you just living to the minimum standard? Are you doing just enough to get by? Are you settling for the okay? Or are you pursuing the important? Is the best what you aim for?

Take a minute and take a hard look at your choices recently. What are you pursuing first and what is getting your leftovers? Do you like who you will become with those choices?

Mustard or ketchup?

I wonder which section of the grocery aisle your church looks like? Seriously, next time you are in the grocery store, take a look at the section for mustard. How many different varieties do you have to choose from? There is yellow, brown, spicy, Grey Poupon, and probably 15 different other variations to choose from. There is a wide diversity in the choices you can make and types of mustard available. Now take a look at the ketchup aisle. Well... there is ketchup. Different brands, but all basically the same. No variety. No differences. Just your normal, plain ketchup.

Ketchup is comfortable. The brands are all just like each other. I wonder if that is what our church is like? A place where diversity doesn't exist. Does your congregation look exactly like the one down the street? Are you doing the exact same thing as them? Maybe you are a different brand. Maybe they are methodist or baptist or Church of Christ or whatever, but do the people, programs, etc. look exactly like yours? I wonder if we are called to be what are community needs? Maybe that should look a little different than any other church name you could pull out of the phone book. Maybe our church should look more like the community with diversity in race, age, ethnic cultures, etc. Maybe we need to do things differently to reach people instead of offering the same type of ketchup as everyone else. Ketchup is comfortable, but really it isn't very exciting. Just wondering. Should comfort and familiarity be what defines us?

Quick book update

Mentioned a little while back (Can't believe I didn't post anything for nearly three weeks! Lots of thoughts, just not many to write about on here.) that I had several books lined up to read. I finished "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan last week and am currently reading three other books right now. They are very diverse which may make my thoughts even more random than normal. (That should scare you.) Current reads include "What the Dog Saw" by Malcolm Gladwell, "The Gutter" by Craig Gross and "Scouting the Divine" by Margaret Feinberg. Just wanted to give you a warning as I am sure these will invade my thoughts and influence what I write here. Basically what I've read so far deals with the following - Have we denied the power of the Holy Spirit? (Forgotten God), random interesting stories of people that have influenced your life that you may not ever have heard of (What the Dog Saw), the difference between "them" and you is small (The Gutter), and how the life of a modern shepherdess brings to light a lot of what the bible has to say in its use of shepherding language (Scouting the Divine). Just wanted to give you a quick update (or warning depending on how you view it) of some of the things that are on my radar.

Not sure if I will give a full review on any of these books (not really my thing), but I am willing to give a recommendation (unlike Lane and movies now) if you want more details. I really appreciate the encouragement from Sheyenne and Joel about reading "The Gutter". From the other books I've read by Craig Gross, I really like his style of just telling it like it is. I like the challenge to be thrown down. Sometimes we need that raw challenge instead of trying to wrap it up all nice and neat so that it doesn't seem as daunting. When it seems so great that I can't handle it just means that I will have to rely on God to do it. I can guarantee you that will produce better results every time. Hope you encounter some of those challenges this week. Hang on as we enjoy the roller coaster.

In the middle of the mess

Life tends to be...umm...a little messy to say the least. We currently have a mini-van with a rear door that won't completely close. (I have this vision of my wife driving down the street with it flying wide open. There is absolutely nothing on the inside of the door that you can tie it down with.) We have a son who took a kick at our neighbor's...umm...private area yesterday and now is not particularly liked by his parents. (This also being our currently reforming thief and liar.) We spend every payday figuring out how exactly we are going to manage to pay the bills, feed three boys (with usually at least some occasional friends thrown in as well) who seem to eat all of the time (You know it is a bad sign when the people at Wal-mart are impressed with how many groceries you are buying and it is just a normal amount for you. Two carts tends to be the norm these days.) and maybe have enough left over to go on a date if we had the time. Sporadic friendships; the busyness of work; chaotic schedules of soccer, basketball, gymnastics, scouts, and guitar lessons; ungratefulness for the things we have...again life is a little messy. The thing is I don't think we are unusual. Maybe our messiness looks different than yours, but I am guessing we all experience a slightly chaotic life at times. But through all of the chaos is woven hope. Hope for what is to come. I was reading Lamentations this morning (not a particularly uplifting book by the way) and realized again that it is the hope in God that makes it worth it.

Even when life tends to be over abundantly messy, can we stop and be thankful? I am learning that when I am thankful, the messiness of life doesn't seem quite so bad. It doesn't necessarily change the circumstances, but it does change my attitude...and that can make a huge difference. So no matter what your current situation, what can you be grateful for? Take a minute and think about it. Is it the fact you have a car? Is the fact you have food to eat? Do you have people who love you? Maybe you need to just pause and remember there is hope. Maybe you need to write a note of thanks to someone. Maybe you need to go wash your car and be thankful for it. Whatever it is, even when life is messy, we have a lot to be thankful for.

When speechless isn't a good thing

A couple sits together in a restaurant, but they might as well be at totally different tables. He watches a college football game on the TV, she stares out at the people in the restaurant. No words spoken to each other. I watch them for close to an hour and no more than 10 words are said between them. Maybe it was an off day for them. Maybe they were having a bad day. I don't know what their situation was. I was just observing them at a restaurant in the airport. My thought though was how do you get to that point? How do you sit at a table with the person who should probably know you best and have nothing to say?

My next thought was how do I guard against that? How do I continue to communicate to Lisa how much I love her and the importance she has in my life? I don't think you wake up one day and you no longer have anything to say. You give it up little by little. You let the unimportant distract you from the important. You let your selfishness become the guiding factor instead of thinking of the other person. Really, we are all capable of being there. We have no problem focusing on ourselves, but seem to constantly struggle to place others in front of our own selfish wants.

I have no clue how that couple ended up there. All I know is that I don't want someone to one day be watching me sit at a table in a restaurant with my incredible wife and have nothing to say. (Unless it is because I am speechless because of how amazing she is.) How do you protect the important in your life? How do you keep from living your life based on your own selfishness? What's your plan?

Surrounded by isolation

It is funny the things you can see in an airport, especially when you are in Vegas on Halloween. I will just let your imagination run with that one for a while. You are creative people, I am sure you will come up with some pretty interesting scenarios all by yourself. Here is something I noticed though.

People everywhere, but most of them isolated. IPods turned on, games being played on their cell phones, working on their computers - everyone plugged-in and the rest of the world tuned out. We are constantly surrounded by people, but I wonder if we have forgotten how to interact with other people. We control our worlds. We have tons of friends on facebook or people we follow on Twitter, but still we are lonely. We choose to limit the people we let into our world. We are busy, rushed, always have a full agenda, with little or no time to give to others. We are lucky if we make time for our families, let alone time to invest in having a conversation with a friend. We rarely fully engage. We text and twitter others even while we are having a conversation with someone else.

Don't get me wrong, I am not against any of these conveniences and ways to keep up with people. They are useful and can be fun, but I wonder if they don't reflect our selfishness sometimes. It is easier to limit what people see on facebook and we can keep people at a distance when the only way we talk is through texting. Letting people into the middle of your life or making a commitment to be invested in someone else's can be hard. It requires us to be real. It requires us to make someone else a priority. It can be messy. Much of life is like that, but isn't that why we need each other. People to encourage us and who we can encourage, people to help us and for us to give to others, people to share our lives and people we can invest in.

I was thinking about how I often hear people talk about their college years and how much they wish they could capture that feeling again. I wonder if that is because that was when we made the time to hang out with friends. You could talk late into the night with others about the things going on in your life. We connected to others, we lived life together, we shared the experiences, we lived in community. Why can't we do that now? I think we settle for less because it is easier. Sometimes it might be better when we don't know any better, like when we were in college.

What about you? Are you plugged-in and tuned out or involved in others lives? Do you long for more than the surface level? If so, what are you going to do about it? Why are we willing to take the easy, when it is usually the harder things that shape us? These are my thoughts as I sit and watch hundreds of people live around each other, but still choose to live in isolation.

Reading now and in the near future

I am excited that I have several books lined up to read. I had taken a break from reading for a while and am looking forward to jumping back in and being challenged. The books next on my reading list are the following:

• Forgotten God - Francis Chan
• Scouting the Divine - Margaret Feinberg
• A Million Miles in a Thousand Years - Donald Miller
• Jesus Loves You This I Know - Craig Gross
• The Gutter - Craig Gross

Mixed in with these are a couple of fiction books that I am trying to read also. I am sure that my thoughts from these books will find there way into my thoughts I share here in the near future. I am not sure how much reading I will get done though until I finish the B90X challenge (reading the bible in 90 days). I have been thrown off that schedule some as my trip to Catalyst slowed down how much I was reading. The combination of information overload and lots of driving time took its toll on my reading.

Speaking of that. The following verse just stood out to me the other day when I was reading. "my people - broken, shattered, and yet they put on band-aids, saying, 'It's not so bad. You'll be just fine.' But things are not 'just fine'!" (Jeremiah 8:10) Broken and hurting people putting on a good face. Sounds a lot like what still exists today. We treat the symptoms but rarely are willing to do the hard work of dealing with the real hurts. We want to give out band-aids instead of investing the time, energy and emotions that may be required to really do life with others. We each have been broken in our own ways, but simply saying it is fine doesn't really help out in the long-term. We have to be willing to go deeper and not shy away from shattered places in our lives. Restoration only comes when we realize we are broken and shattered. Are you applying a band-aid when surgery may be needed? Are you offering a quick fix when someone may need you to give even more than that? My ideal of community looks more like a hospital or doctors office that works to heal rather than the local drugstore where we self-diagnosis and then apply a band-aid and proclaim that we are fine.

A little glimpse into my thoughts

I had the opportunity to hear some incredible speakers at Catalyst last week. Speakers such as Andy Stanley, Malcolm Gladwell, Rob Bell, Chuck Swindoll, Dave Ramsey, Francis Chan, Matt Chandler and few other names you might recognize. All of them brought something to the table that I am sure I will still be processing over the next several weeks. But for me, it was during the times of worship and during some conversations with new friends that the tough questions hit me. Here are a few of the thoughts I wrote down and have been trying to work through since then.

• Does your heart break for what breaks God's heart? Show me what you are going to do because of that broken heart. Talk isn't enough.
• Are you open for what is next? (This was woven in as part of theme this year.) So what are going to do?
• God, what is the one thing that I need to hear? Why have you lead me here for this moment? Who am I suppose to serve? What conversations am I suppose to have?
• Am I dating my wife well? Why do we usually become less creative in our dating when we get married?
• Who am I suppose to encourage? Whose path has purposefully crossed mine, whether for a brief period or for the long-term, that I am suppose to invest in?

I've continued to reflect on these and where God is leading with these. Questions that I will probably come back to several times over the next couple of months. These along with a few other thoughts and things I learned this week will continue to shape my current view of life and the people around me. A lot to soak in from the speakers, worship and incredible people I got to spend a little time with last week. What are you learning in your life that you can share? What questions are you wrestling with? Who is impacting your life and whose life are you investing in?

Hesitation

"Every hitch in obedience is God beckoning us to deeper waters." - Matt Chandler

We hesitate in obeying. We consider whether we want to or not. Does that moment we question what God has asked us to do (that hitch in obedience) show our lack of faith? Do we delay because like children we are strong-willed and want to do things our way? Does it show the immaturity of my heart?

We have two choices when we hesitate in following God. We can dig deeper and see why we don't trust. Find the root of our disobedience. It may require us to repent, confess and hopefully mature. The other option is to deceive ourselves. We convince ourselves that our disobedience is okay. We convince ourselves that God wasn't really calling us to do that hard task. We don't need to have that tough conversation, confront the problem, radically change our lives, have compassion on that person, or love that person we have trouble even liking. We hesitate in obeying because we want to stay where we are comfortable.

What would your life look like if you completely trusted God's call? What if I eliminated that hitch in my obedience? Where are you hesitating? Are you going to dig deeper? Let's take that hard look at our lives. Let's remove the rose colored glass we use to look at our obedience. Do we need to repent? Do we need to confess to someone? We see the problem, what are we going to do about it?

Changing the equation

"In a time of crisis, we don't need daring and bold, we need humility." - Malcolm Gladwell

How many times do we look to the person who has it all figured out? The confident person who speaks with authority. How many times are we sure we are right and the other person has no clue? The answer is obvious. Any fool can see it. We value those who are bold and confident. But does that over-confidence blind us to other possibilities? Does that same confidence make us even more vulnerable to mistakes?

Humility changes the equation. To me, humility is the one strength I look for in a leader. The attitude that says I don't have this all figured out. I am capable of being wrong. Maybe someone else has the answer that we need. If anyone could have spoken with over-confidence it was Jesus, but still he was marked by his humility. We can be bold and confident, but if we leave humility out of the mix, we may be heading for a disaster and not even recognize it.

Do you display humility? If not, why not? Think about those leaders around you. Do the ones you see as leading well display humility? In a time of crisis, who do you want leading you?

A break in the action

Random thoughts as the weekend approaches:

• Had to talk to several people in customer service today. Glad that I don't have that job as nobody calls to compliment them, but rather because something is wrong. Have to say that 3 or the 4 I talked to were pleasant, even if they couldn't help me resolve the problems. The other one... I will refrain from sharing my thoughts about her. Let's just say she won't be making my Christmas list.
• Ever feel like you are at your breaking point? How do you deal with it? Within the last 2 hours I've gone from worrying about everything going on to the other extreme of "who cares". Pretty sure that neither of those is the right answer in the end. Hopefully the pendulum will settle somewhere in the best area before the day is over.
• Just gave into the peer pressure and will be playing in our company golf tournament. Someone had to drop out and I decided a day out in the 75 degree temperatures versus being in the office outweighs the fact that I suck at golf. I have always fought the stereotype of the typical accountant who plays golf. The visual image of the balding, overweight, non-athletic CPA playing golf. I argued for many years that golf wasn't even really a sport because it didn't require any running or athletic effort like soccer. I have softened that view (may have something to do with soccer being a little more difficult to play these days since I am over 40), but still haven't learned to enjoy the game. Probably some correlation to the fact that what seems like it should be easy (hitting a little golf ball) is in reality a lot more difficult... thus why golf can be so frustrating.
• I am going to go dark on here for the next week. I will be out of town for part of the week, but also think it might be healthy for me to unplug from here for a little while. A chance to focus on some things and let some thoughts settle. I am sure I will have lots of things to share after I get back from Catalyst. It usually spurs lots of ideas and challenges for me.

Hope you have an incredible weekend! Take advantage of these amazing fall days. See you back here in a week.

Random questions and a unique sight

As I was talking with Lane today, he pointed out how ironic it is that our money says "In God We Trust" when it appears that most people trust in the money more than God. Is this a case of mislabeling? I wonder how things would look in my life if God visibly labeled them according to what my motives and actions said versus what I verbally say. What would wear the label of "what I treasure most", "what I am passionate about", "where I place my trust", and "who I care about"? Would all of those labels be on me? Does my life reflect my desire to serve others selflessly while I pursue being like Jesus? Or does it reflect that I care about myself more than any other thing or person? What or who would wear your labels?

Another question that I have been thinking about is how do I want my life to impact the people I am investing in? I think bottom line it boils down to forward movement. It doesn't have to be what I think it could be or even what I want it to be, but I want to see something for my investment of time. If they are in the same place as before, then have I really added anything to their life? We are called to love and make a difference. Are we doing that? Do we help others move forward? What do you want people to have after spending time with you?

Great sight last night to see 25 people playing putt-putt in their pajamas. It was suppose to be bowling, but who knew the bowling alley would go out of business just a couple of days before. Flexibility has to be the number one requirement of working with students. Things never go as planned. Kind of like life most of the time. Our high school students rolled with the change and still had a blast. So if you saw some strangely dressed people playing mini-golf off of Hwy 169 last night, that was probably us.

Hidden agendas?

Does anyone else play the assumption game? The game that says based on their actions this must be what they are thinking or their reasons for doing/not doing something. I've found that even though I am pretty observant that the assumptions I make are often wrong. Sometimes I give the other person too much credit, sometimes I don't know someone as well as I think I do, sometimes my emotions cloud the view, sometimes I am just plain wrong. I've lived the statement that says "you know what happens when you assume?" (If you don't know the answer, ask around as I am sure someone can tell you.) My view is based on their actions or appearances. Those can be deceiving. What I see may not match the reasons for those actions. I ran across this in my reading last night. Proverbs 21:2 says "We justify our actions by appearances; God examines our motives." We see the outward, God examines the inside. So my assumptions may be wrong. What I think your motive is doesn't really matter, but God knows the real motive. He cuts through the walls and layers we build to see our hearts. Kind of scary, but also kind of cool. Does our actions match our motives? I may not know if your appearances are real, but that doesn't matter because God is looking intently at our motives.

A little update

Half way there. Yesterday was day 45 of reading through the bible in 90 days. Currently reading through Proverbs which is one of the most practical books of the bible for me. I love the insights that I get each time I read through it. No matter where I am currently at in life there is something in there that speaks directly to me. An interesting switch from Psalms which reveals a lot of the emotion of the writers. Psalms dealt with the heart and Proverbs is reaching my mind. Wonder if that is part of what the verses in the new testament is talking about it when it says to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind?

Refreshing day yesterday as I got to talk with some friends I haven't seen in awhile. A chance to catch up a little with the things happening in their lives and to enjoy their friendship. Kind of shows the diversity of my friends. One I've known for 24 years, the other I've known about a year. One lives in Las Vegas, the other I met on a plane going to Vegas. One started out investing in me, the other I started out investing in. Both are friends I don't get to talk with very often, but I love the unique perspective they bring to my life. A day I think God knew I needed to hear some encouragement from some friends.

Keep circling around the idea of living in the expectancy and not in the expectations. Enjoying the things I look forward to in friends (laughter, good conversations, etc.) but not having the expectations (rule that it has to happen). The good conversations that took place yesterday. A note from my aunt that simply says "I love you". A message from a friend half way across the world that shared her thoughts on my blog from yesterday. Enjoying the moments of friendship without expecting them. Hard not to look ahead and expect those, but trying to live fully in the moment and enjoying them. Thanks Shane, Joel, aunt Cathy and Kim for making yesterday better simply because you were part of it.

Multiple choice

A couple diverse thoughts to start off your Monday morning. Kind of like those multiple choice tests from high school. Pick the one that best applies to you. No grades will be given, but a 1,000,000 bonus points for sharing your thoughts.

• Do you think we should pray like the ones written in Psalms? I can't help but imagine what a Sunday morning would look like if we heard some prayers like these. They didn't seem too concerned with "prettying up" their thoughts. Read this morning about smashing the heads of their enemies. These were not prayers about so-and-so's sick grandma (not that grandma isn't important), but raw and intense prayers for help and emotional prayers of thanks. They seemed to take to heart the fact that God already knew their true thoughts and feelings and just honestly shared them. Wonder why our prayers sound so sanitized? They often sound more like a speechwriter has crafted them (lots of words, but not much substance) than us honestly talking to God.
• Not sure what even prompted me to write down these two questions yesterday, but I've been trying to take an honest look at my life and answer them. Give it a whirl and see what you come up with. How do you sacrifice your convictions? What is your compromise?
• Do you listen before speaking the truth? I have had several people speak truth into my life the last couple of days. Some I was glad did, others just made me angry. The truth is always needed, but sometimes our delivery of it can make it harder to receive. I have tried to sort through and hear the truth, but have wondered if some of the ones delivery it were more concerned about me or saying what they felt needed to be said. One says I care about you, the other says I am right. You may be right, but if you don't care about me first, it really doesn't help me much. What do you think?
• How do answer the question - How are you doing? Do you really tell everyone how things are going for you? Do you just default to the acceptable answer - fine? I have probably been asked this question about 10 times (at least) over the weekend. I probably honestly answered two of those people. Eight people got something else. Why the difference? For me it is because those two really seemed to want to know. They allowed time for me to answer. I wasn't on the clock so they could move on to the next person. They had seen something that made them wonder about me and they asked. They cared enough to see me. The people in line checking me out will probably always get the "fine" response. Those who throw it out as a greeting, will get the "fine". When I ask that question, I want that person to know that I really want to know how they are doing. I don't want the expected answer (unless of course you are really doing fine and then you will probably have to convince me of that). How do we slow down enough to see the people around us?

There you go. A few thoughts to get you started today. Go for it and weigh in with your thoughts. How often do you get the chance to make this easy of an "A"?

Lesson learned

How do you deal with people who let you down? (If it hasn't happened yet in your life, my guess it will at some point. I hope not, but we all tend to be messed up in our own way and bring that into our relationships.) I would describe myself as logical and that I tend to observe and analyze the situation fairly well (over analyze is probably more accurate according to my wife), but I also know that I can have pretty intense emotions especially with the things I am passionate about. So this last week has been a struggle as I dealt with wondering if it was worth investing in other people's lives anymore (something I am passionate about). What the exact issues were don't really matter, but how some friends responded does.

One of them simply asked how I was doing. He was available to listen. He didn't offer any solutions or try to solve the problems, he was just available. Another friend encouraged. She pointed out things from the past where she saw that my investment had made a difference. She also suggested that I watch "A Wonderful Life" and imagine myself as Jimmy Stewart's character to see the impact that I may have had in people's lives without even realizing it. (I love creative ideas!) Another friend offered some tough words to hear. Words that challenged me to look at whether my expectancy that exists in friendship (the looking forward to being together, laughing together and talking) had turned into an expectation (a rule that expects them to act a certain way to meet my expectations). An idea that she found intriguing from the book "The Shack". My way of dealing with it at the time was to pull back from those people for a time (wrong way) and then decided to serve them (a lot better way). To continue to invest even though I wanted to do anything but that.

I need each of those voices in my life. Friends who will listen, friends who will encourage, friends who will challenge. The cool thing to me was those voices were from people I didn't expect. (May be onto something with the whole expectancy vs. expectations thing. One of those things I realize, but a whole lot harder to put into practice.) So where do you need to listen, who do you need to encourage, do you need to challenge someone, do you need to serve? We all have a part to play. What is your part for today?

Who cares?

I wonder what I am missing. How many things slip by unnoticed in the busyness of life? Is someone hurting, but I'm too busy to notice? Does someone need a word of encouragement that may help them make it through the day? We have no problem pointing out the failures of others, but do we celebrate the things they get right?

It has been one of those weeks for me. One of those weeks were everything seems to hit at once. My inadequacies on display for all to see. My insecurities just right below the surface. Questioning every action and trying to figure out which way is up. Just hoping to make it through the day without adding one more thing to the list of things that I've done wrong. I was at the breaking point when I got an e-mail that simply said that someone noticed. He asked if there way anything I needed help with. It wasn't out of obligation. It wasn't for any other reason than he noticed something that made him wonder if everything was okay. And he asked. A simple e-mail that made a huge difference.

Makes me wonder how many people pass by me each day hurting. Putting on the smile and pretending everything is great when in reality they are in need of someone to notice them. Notice that they matter. It doesn't take much to ask them how they are really doing. It doesn't take much effort for me to write a note to tell someone that I notice the difference they are making. To let someone know they are loved just because. For me that means my focus needs to shift off of my problems and look for those opportunities. Take the time to notice what is happening in the lives of those around me. Who do you need to notice today? Who could use a simple note that says you care?

You or others?

What does selfless look like to you? Do you know it when you see it? More importantly do you practice it?

Want to be counter-cultural? Being selfless is about as counter-cultural as you can get. We are told to be successful you have to look out for number one. And according to what I read and see most of the time, it is about what you deserve in your life (and apparently their is a lot of stuff that we deserve). It is all about me. What I want and how I am going to get it.

Being selfless says it is about others. Finding ways to put others in front of ourselves. Putting them before my wants. Selflessness will mean sacrifice. Sacrifice of your time, your "rights", your pride and possibly your money. Being selfless isn't for the weak. It requires discipline. It requires commitment. It requires you to be intentional.

Is it about you or others? No easy way around that question. Are you going to choose to be selfless or selfish? I don't know if there is really any in between.

Who do you know that displays selflessness? Take a minute and thank them. They don't do it for the thanks, but we still need to thank them. What will be your choice for today - yourself or others?

What is your choice?

"God isn't obsessed with our happiness...but His holiness" - Perry Noble

But are we obsessed more with our own happiness? I wonder if we take a hard look at our prayers if they aren't more focused on our happiness than His kingdom. Not to say that God doesn't care if we are happy, but that isn't His priority. He is more concerned about who we are and who we are becoming than our happiness or lack thereof. Do we care about His holiness as much as our happiness? Do we choose ourselves or His kingdom?

What keeps you awake at night - your circumstances or God's plan for His kingdom? I've had little sleep the last couple of nights, but honestly it has been more about my circumstances than His holiness. Maybe I need a change of perspective. Maybe a view from what God finds important will help shape what I should find important.

So what are you going to choose to be obsessed with... happiness or holiness? It always comes down to our choice.

Missing what is right in front of me

"Somehow, though he moves right in front of me, I don't see him; quietly but surely he's active, and I miss it." (Job 9:11 - the Message version)

Wonder where God is moving right in front of me and I don't see it? What is He doing that I am suppose to be a part of, but am missing it?

Sometimes I clearly know what I am supposed to do. Other times I don't have a clue. Whether I know or not, God is still at work though. The difference is often whether I am looking for those places to join Him in what he is already doing. We don't have to prompt God to act. He is already moving. I just need to be searching for those areas and then jump in with Him. Wonder if we try to make it more difficult than it is sometimes? Sounds like we need to look and listen and then we will know where God is working. Sounds easy huh? Wonder why it is so hard then? Could it be that my focus is more on me than Him? How much are you seeing these days?

What do the critics say?

Who are your critics? Do you listen to them? Do they keep you from doing what needs to be done? I was reading Nehemiah this morning and began to wonder if I listen too much to the critics. As I was reading, I kept seeing these three names pop up frequently - Sandy, Toby and Gus (actually it was Sanballat the Horonite, Tobiah the Ammonite and Geshem the Arab but that was a little much to say each time.) They were a little upset that someone was going to change the ways things had been. They liked the status quo and didn't want any changes to that. They ridiculed. They pointed out that it wouldn't work. They formed a group and caused as much trouble as they could. They tried to set up a meeting to keep Nehemiah from his work of rebuilding the wall. The told lies to try to incite the people. They tried intimidating him to quit. For years (years... and you thought your critics were persistent) these critics kept trying to keep Nehemiah from his vision and purpose. What did he do? Basically he ignored them. He turned it over to God and asked him to deal with it. He had a purpose and wasn't going to be sidetracked by the critics. Are you giving too much time to the critics? Focusing on them instead of your purpose? Or are you the critic? Distracting people from what they need to be doing.

Breathing deeply

Take a deep breath. Slow down. Be still.

My alarm didn't go off this morning. It was set, but I apparently forget to turn it on. Most days that's not much of a problem, but today I was suppose to be meeting someone in 35 minutes... across town... that would take 20 minutes to get there. 15 minutes to get ready, pack a lunch and be out the door. What normally takes 30 minutes was now being cut in half. Today started running at full speed, already behind.

That feels like my life the last several days. Out of control. Running from one thing to the next. I know it is just a season, but it is tiring. The sad thing is that I think most people live their lives this way. Staying busy with little time to be still. Wonder what they are missing by keeping this pace? The chance to hear God speak about their purpose? The opportunity to make a difference in someones life? The chance to talk to a friend? The privilege to be in community? The needed conversations with their spouse? The chance to play with their kids?

Why? Why do we run until collapse? Why do we feel it is better to be busy? Why try to cram one more thing in? Is it that tough to slow down?

Today I choose to slow down. Have the conversations. Listen to God. Invest where I can. The things on my list that don't get done... they will have to wait. When was the last time you slowed down and were still? Is your schedule controlling you or you controlling your schedule? Really it is our choice most of the time.

One step forward

Do you celebrate the one step forward? You know... one step forward, two steps back. My life is usually one step forward, two back, one sideways, and then maybe two tentative steps forward again. I don't know how to travel in a straight line. I want to and in my mind I can usually come up with the game plan to accomplish it, but somehow reality falls short of that.

I want to be selfless so I look for ways to serve my wife. Then I get angry with the boys for some small thing and sit and watch as my wife takes care of things that I could help with. Next day I ask if I can help, but with maybe less than a cheerful heart. Then I do some small thing without prompting just to be helpful. That is how the one step forward and two steps back goes in my life. I have the game plan to become more like Jesus and to be selfless (the straight line moving upwards), but reality looks more like scattered dots on a page. Some days looking more like Jesus than other ones.

But the question is do we ever stop and celebrate that we are moving forward? Maybe we don't move forward at the pace we want or it doesn't happen all at once like we imagine, but are you still moving forward? Sometimes I think we need to celebrate the little accomplishments. We don't camp out there and settle for the small step, but still taking the time to recognize that we are chasing after the important and for that moment we at least moved in the right direction.

Who around you needs to hear the applause for the step forward they are taking? Can we focus on more than the shortcomings and negatives? Do we spend more time celebrating or criticizing? Don't misread me. We need to critically evaluate our lives and see if we are pursuing the important, but sometimes we need to stop and celebrate as well. As I've been reading the old testament recently, one of the things that has stood out to me is that two or three times a year the whole nation would stop and celebrate for a week or more. Celebrate an amazing God and how He works in our lives. They knew how to party. They didn't stand around and do a polite golf clap. They poured themselves into celebrating God. Do you need to party? What is going on around you that could use some celebrating? Let's see the one step forward today and worry about the two steps back some other day.

Optimist or pessimist?

Are you an optimist or pessimist? Or as some people refer to it, are you a dreamer or realist? Overall I think I am probably an optimist. I can usually see the good in most situations and believe things can always improve. Sometimes, when I am the one involved, I may lean a little more toward the pessimistic viewpoint, but generally speaking I see the glass as half full with the potential for a full glass. Recently though I've leaned more towards the other end of the spectrum. Situations where I've expected little to nothing from people. Preparing to be disappointed. Doubting that things will work out like I hoped. Trying to be more "realistic" about my expectations. Know what I've discovered? I don't like being a realist. See to me, the problem of being pessimistic is that there is no hope. Hope is what gives me the energy to keep trying even when I don't see immediate results. Hope keeps me moving forward.

I was ready to give up on some people. Walk out and not look back. I was just tired of trying without any movement. That all changed in one Sunday morning as I heard stories that changed my view. Stories of how others loved. Stories of people being selfless. Other people surprised me by taking action. My hope was restored that maybe it does make a difference. Maybe community can exist like I dream about. Really, a lot of the change was about what I was focusing on. Where I place my focus tells a lot about what is important to me. The more important to me, the more time and energy is focused in that direction. Are you focused on the good or bad? Our viewpoint helps shape a lot of our attitude. We get to choose if we see the potential for good or bad in any situation. We get to decide if we are going to hope or give up. What viewpoint are you going to choose - optimistic or pessimistic?

What are you being asked to do?

What do you do when you've been asked to do something you don't want to, BUT know you should? I can come up with the excuses, make the justifications, find the rationalization to not do it, BUT still know in my heart that I need to just do it. (Sounds strangely like a Nike slogan.) That has to be one of the most annoying traits of God sometimes. He will let us do whatever we choose, BUT He still points out what is right. Not what is easy, not what is always the fun thing to do, not even what I want to do, BUT what is right in following Him. Following Him isn't about me, BUT about His purpose. His desire to show love to people through me. I want someone else to do it. I want to stand safely on the sidelines and watch it unfold in front of me, BUT he has asked me to do it. I want to look around and ask why not that person? They are more qualified. They have the right personality. Funny (not HaHa funny, but strange type of funny) that even though I know that He is perfect and holy, I am still arrogant enough to question Him about what is best. I love that annoying persistence. The persistence that means He never gives up on me even when I have to try it my way first. He could give up on me, BUT he continues to love me in spite of my arrogance. What have you been asked to do that you keep answering Him with "Yeah, BUT..."? Maybe it is time we get off our BUT and just do it.

The hard truth

The hard truth is hard to hear. Pretty obvious wouldn't you think? The truth is that we need others who will tell us the hard truth. Not only do we need people who will point this out, but also people who will help us through it as well. See I can have the tendency to criticize which may point out the truth, but it doesn't help anyone grow. We can also be encouraging to people but fail to confront sin and that doesn't really help anyone grow either. It takes the combination of the two.

I was reading an interview with Matt Chandler (pastor of the Village Church in Dallas) and he said something that I've been thinking about since then. He said "Sins aren't things you do. Sin is about who you are." I try to make it about what I do when in reality is a lot deeper than that. The actions are just a reflection of who I am. We can spend a lot of time trying to correct the symptoms and never really accomplish anything. To grow in my faith it will require me to look hard at who I am and humbly seek God and others to help me. See pride will tell me that I am okay, I just do some small sins. Reality is that I am not okay. Who we are should be a reflection of Jesus. Anything less than that is not acceptable so we need to keep digging a little deeper until we become aware of any sin in our lives.

Those two things collide for me a couple of weeks ago. My friend Lane took the time to tell me the hard truth about sin in my life. Not only did he point it out but he is also helping me try to find a way to change who I am. It is up to me to surrender (my pride, my justifications, my obedience to God) and be willing to let others tell me the hard truth. The hard truth may hurt, but sometimes the courage of a friend to speak the truth may be what is needed for us to grow.

Who do you have an authentic relationship with that can tell you the hard truth? Anyone you need the courage to confront with the hard truth? The hard truth isn't easy, but we haven't been called to an easy life. Real community takes hard work and won't happen by accident. It requires us to be intentional. Intentional in who we invest in and intentional in our openness to others.

What is your story?

What is your story? Maybe it is one with lots of twists and turns. Maybe it is one that seems a little slow and uneventful to you. Maybe it reads as a story gone horribly wrong at some point. Maybe it is the fairy tale story lived out. Wherever you are at right now in the story it is still playing out. If you don't like where the story has gone so far then change it before the ending. We control a lot of our story, but not all of it. See my story may weave through parts of your story. We don't live a life in isolation. Our stories are where we have been, where we are right now and where we are heading. They intersect with others and honestly that is where the story can be the best. When our lives come together to create more than what we can on our own. Not only that but we also play a part in God's story. See His story has been playing out a long time and we have part in that as well. Our story weaves into the bigger story he has been creating. What will your story be? You know what it has been, but what will it be? Today you get the chance to decide which way the story will go. I hope it is more exciting, more adventurous, and impacts more people than you can imagine. I also hope you get the chance to play a big part in someone else's story today whether you realize it or not. Let's go create some amazing stories today.

Tuesday morning

Lots of different thoughts running through my head this morning. So I thought I would share a few of those with you. Not completely thought out, but some random bullet points to start off your Tuesday (which seems like a Monday).

• Life is tough in the mundane for me. The little details that play out. The routine that doesn't have much new in it. When things are out of control, I know I can't handle it so I turn to God and to others for help. But the mundane is another story. It seems to slowly pull me out of my rhythm. The slow drift seems to be more dangerous than the huge mountain. The huge problem requires a game plan, a plan of attack, but the everyday normal sneaks up on you. I end up slowly farther away in my relationship with God and others.


• "Trust is not a pass/fail class. There are degrees and shades of trust. Discerning the different dimensions is the first step toward developing more trust. My level of trust in someone is often about my own moods, experiences and perceptions. I must monitor these conditions and factor them in." Some thoughts about trust from Steven Furtick's blog. Trust is one of the highest values in relationships for me. Some good thoughts to help me redefine what trust is and maybe more importantly what it isn't.
  


• How wise are you? Been reading a lot through the old testament recently and just finished reading about Solomon not too long ago. He was one of the wisest people ever and know what he said - get advice from others. Find good counsel, the wise listen to others, get all of the advice and instruction you can - some of Solomon's advice about wisdom. Maybe it isn't about what we know. Maybe it is about who we should ask. Who is in your circle of influence that you are listening to?


• After reading Amy Storm's blog this morning this phrase has stuck with me since then - "There is too much 'you' in you. Stop focusing on yourself, and start dwelling in His enduring love." Where is my focus? Is it on me and what I want? Wouldn't my focus be better used if it was on God and his enduring love?


• One of the best decisions I've made recently was to take the B90X challenge. It is simply a plan to read the Bible in 90 days. Nothing magical about it, but it has brought a freshness to my time spent reading. Don't know if it is the fact that it usually involves reading about 15 chapters a day or the fact that I am reading 45 minutes or more each day. It has helped me to see the stories in the Bible in a new way. By the way, there are some really jacked up stories in the OT. Amazing to me that God didn't "clean up" those stories, but instead chose to include them. Maybe it points out how he can use anybody. Some really funny stuff in there as well. Stuff that makes me wonder why it was included. Maybe it points out God's sense of humor.