Things on my mind today

Been a long but interesting week. Here are few random thoughts as I reflect on the week so far.

• Glad I ventured out and started a conversation this week with a stranger. Not my normal comfort zone but I think this is an area I am growing in right now. I've met lots of new people recently and really enjoy it. Not sure how that works with my desire to take friendships to a deep level, but just another area of tension I will wrestle with.


• Decided I am wimp. Had the opportunity to share my passion for Christ last night and didn't take it because the enivronment wasn't favorable. What would it have cost me other than some uncomfortable conversation? Time to man up. Hard to say that I would die for Jesus when I didn't even risk being uncomfortable around some co-workers.


• Realized again how important it is to be surrounded by people who will encourage and build you up. If I hadn't had the opportunity to be around a couple of those people this week, it would have been a very draining week. Don't know how people do it without having a community around them.


• If you have a vice of any kind, you probably shouldn't spend much time in Vegas alone. There is a reason it is called Sin City.


• Love the mountains. Manage to hike at Red Rock Canyon three times this week (maybe a fourth today). A couple of those times were a good chance to slow down and try to hear God. Good to have Him take a look at my heart.


• Ready to be home and spend some time with my family. Don't understand how people travel all the time for their jobs. I like to travel and see new places, but think it would get real old real fast if I did it all of the time.

Just a few of the things bouncing around in my tired mind today. Take a few minutes and reflect on your week. Have you seen God move in it? Have you found out something about yourself? Good to stop and reflect every so often in this 100 mph world we live in.

Convictions

Had the chance to make it back out to Red Rock Canyon to do a little more hiking/rock climbing yesterday. It was nice to sit on the top of the Calico rocks (Red Rock and Calico are my two favorite areas to hike and climb) and just be quiet. You are surrounded by so much noise and action on the strip that it was a good change of pace for me. Gave me a little chance to reflect on what I've been reading out of John Ortberg's book "Faith & Doubt".

He was talking about the 3 different types of convictions we have. The first one is public convictions (think politicians for this one). This is what I want other people to think I believe, even though I may not really believe them. These are the things we say out loud. If you ask someone what their convictions are in life these are the ones you will hear. They may be the same as the other two convictions but not necessarily. The second one is private convictions. These are the things I sincerely think I believe, but turns out they may be fickle. These are the convictions that we believe, but find out we may not really believe them when our circumstances change. The final one is our core convictions. These are the ones that are revealed by our daily actions. They show by what we actually do. They basically can be summarized by the convictions we say, think and reveal. The last one is the one that I want to focus on in my life. What does the way I live reveal about my convictions? To those of you who know me, I would love your feedback on this. Is there a connect between the the things I say and believe and the way I actually live out life? As I stated in an earlier blog, Vegas is a great place to reveal what people's core convictions are. I have seen people who in Tulsa state certain convictions, but those don't match what I see here. My desire it to line these three up as much as possible with the way that Jesus lived. Ortberg talked about the "mental map" we have (the way things really are and the way life really works). For Jesus these were the same thing. That is where I want to be that my convictions are the way that things really are. Good thoughts to sort through while having a fantastic view of the surrounding mountains and the strip from my spot on the the top of the mountain. Gives renewed meaning to a mountaintop experience.

Thoughts from another world

Read this quote from Madeleine L'Engle in John Ortberg's new book that made me stop and think

Those who believe they believe in God

but without passion in the heart, without anguish of mind,

without uncertainty, without doubt, and even at times without despair,

believe only in the idea of God, and not in God himself.

Like that quote a lot because I often have doubts and uncertainty. I think I know what God desires but often question the way it all works. My doubts and questions often lead to a deeper faith in God because I can't wrap my mind around it.

Some random thoughts from the last couple of days:

• Want to know what a person is really like? Take a trip to Vegas with them. Since anything seems to be fair game here, people tend to bring out into the open the things they normally think or do in private. Interesting things to learn about people and yourself.
• If the money that was spent by people in Vegas in one night was put towards some of the bigger global issues like clean water in Africa or aids, I think a huge impact could be made globally.
• People that are drunk aren't nearly as funny as they think they are. Would love to video tape some people and play it back to them a couple days later. They just don't get it.
• Recommend John Ortberg's new book "Faith & Doubt". Like the open and transparent feel of the book. Good topics to discuss.
• Think my personality is changing somewhat over the last several months. Maybe not changing but parts are coming out more. Seem to be more passionate about things (probably the result of being free from the stress I was under at my old job) and venturing into new areas of interest. Love the diverse influences in my life right now.
• Not sure how anybody finds the information at tax training "amazing". Heard several comments like that yesterday and had to laugh. Seriously? This is amazing to people? I think they need to get a life.

Well those are a few of my thoughts from the other planet I am living on this week.

Friends on a plane

Had an amazing time yesterday meeting a new friend and spending some time with some old friends. Normally I am not one to carry on much of a conversation with the people I meet on the plane. A general hello and why are you heading to such and such place. After that I usually try to get in some reading time or listen to the latest tunes on my IPod. Yesterday was totally different for me. The plane was filled to capacity so I knew that I would be sitting by someone on the flight and was hoping it wasn't the 400 pound person that would take up part of my seat as well. (Not the way I want to spend a three hour flight.) A guy finally did fill in the middle seat in the row I was in and I think it was one of those encounters that happen for a purpose. I noticed he had a book that I had started to read awhile back by Craig Groschel and asked him about it. Well that lead to an interesting conversation (I love finding out about people's stories and how the arrived where they are at in life) about his life and that he feels he is maybe being prepared to become a pastor or counselor. Anyway, the conversation lasted basically the entire three hours as we discussed life and the way God has been working in and through our lives. As we discussed things he mentioned he was going skydiving later this week after his conference. I am thinking this the type of friend I would hang out with so I asked him if he wanted to go hiking later that day at Red Rock Canyon. So later that day we went hiking for several hours and had some great conversation and got to take in some amazing views (hope to have some pictures to post later as he also happens to be interested in photography and took some pictures while we were out there). We are suppose to get together for dinner later this week and he continues to try to talk me into going skydiving. Strange to me that I met a new friend on a flight to Vegas. Go figure.

Later that night I had the chance to hang out with some friends that I have known for 20+ years. Great time to catch up a little on life and be challenged by my friend to step into a larger leadership role at church (a reoccurring theme with some of my friends). As I was heading back to the hotel at about midnight (2:00 a.m. for my body) I was thinking how interesting it was that here I was in Vegas and had the chance to spend time with a new friend and someone who has know me from way back when. Funny how God decides to use us and gives us the opportunity to invest in other people's lives whether it may be for a short season (hopefully it last for a longer season) and for over 20 years. Just reinforced to me that no matter where we are at in live that we are to be moving His kingdom forward by meeting the needs around us and investing in people. Hope your day is filled with some incredible opportunities to do just that.

Stop doing list

My wife is the master of to do lists. Me not so much. I wing it and hope my memory serves me well (or better yet ask her to write it down on her list). Most people, whether that write it down or not, have a to do list. We keep adding things to our list that need to get done, but do we have a stop doing list? I often hear people saying that they have no free time or margin in ther lives. They are so stressed out and need an extra couple of hours each day to just get done what they need to. Well, last time I checked I don't think we can add any extra time in a 24 hour day. So why don't we create a stop doing list? I think learning to say no to things is hard for most people. A good idea comes along and we want to jump on board. Great, but what are you going to take off your to do list to make room for it? I've learned over the last several years for me to have the type of relationships that I want that I have to create margin in my life and schedule. Sometimes that means saying no to something so that I keep that margin. I can't really think of anything that I've said no to that I feel that I missed out on, but I know that I would be where I am at today if I hadn't created time for those awesome relationships that I have. So my question is what do you need to put of your stop doing list? Actually make a list right now. What things are eating up the margin in your life?

Thinking outside the box

I have heard and used the term "thinking outside the box" many times, but I don't think that is a good term for me. Here is what I've realized... that my idea of thinking outside the box could very well be in someone else's box. I want to surround myself with people who see things differently than I do. This helps expand how I see things and shapes my perspective. Sometimes it is hard for me to grasp how someone else perceives things but it is good to have those conversations. Wrestling with new thoughts and different ways of thinking widens my perspective. Isn't that what thinking outside the box is supposed to do... help you see things in a different way. So can you by yourself, think outside the box? I don't think so. For our perspectives to change we have to have someone help us change the filter or lens we are viewing things through. Imagine if you had a camera and used only one lens or setting all of the time. To you the pictures may look outstanding, but if someone else comes along and has you try a different lens you may realize what you saw before was really out of focus. The lens helps you see things you may have missed before but you would have never have know that without someone else's influence. I am learning (seems this is going to be lifetime project for me) that I need those different voices in my life. May be frustrating at times as I feel we are talking a different language and seeing two totally different pictures, but those differences are what is helping to shape who I am and how I view the world. So, Lane and Brian, thanks for being two of those people who are currently stretching my perspective. Seeing things from your view of the box has helped shaped my view of the world.

Are you passionate or whatever?

Lots of ideas still floating around in my mind from Catalyst. I was in funk yesterday and I think I might understand why now. The thought occurred to me today that for the several days that I was at Catalyst and for most of the week after I was surrounded with people who were passionate about Jesus, the church and ministry. I was living in that community pretty much 24/7. The best I can describe it is that is kind of like when you go to CIY (or whatever your church camp event is called) and you are surrounded for the entire week with people passionate about God. Then when you get back it is sometimes a rough adjustment because you now have multiple things trying to get your attention. I think I miss the focus, fun, intensity and community. I thrive on those things especially community. I have a high desire to be interacting with people on a deeper level. If I don't, then I run the risk of getting to the attitude of whatever. My desire is to create that community on a consistent level. Not always easy with conflicting schedules, different priorities and different personalities. Trying to figure out how it works, but know that is what motivates my heart a lot of the time.

Along the lines of passion, I found this on a blog from Perry Noble's session at Catalyst. (I didn't actually hear this as it took place on the labs the day before we got there, but it is still good.) The following are four questions he asks himself constantly to make sure he's keeping his passion.

1. How much time do I spend listening to God? Listening takes time. A consistent, uninterrupted time. I think listening is something most people have a hard time doing. I can't tell you how many times I am having a conversation with someone and they are reading a text message or checking their phone. To me that screams I am not really listening to you. I think we do that to God as well. We try to multi-task which means doing a lot of things and usually none of them well.
2. Am I more concerned with being discovered or developed? Are you thinking about what other people think of you or your ministry instead of allowing God to develop your relationships with others and Him? I am often concerned with what other people think about me when if I would instead invest in those relationships I would be so much better off for it.
3. Am I believing any lies? Are their certain lies that you believe that are holding you back? Don't allow critics to doubt what God is calling you to do. For me this means letting people into my life who can see the lies for what they are. I know I have blind spots that I need someone else to see for me.
4. Am I risking or am I playing it safe? If you are playing it safe you probably aren't moving forward. The next risk may be the breakthrough or it could be a failure. It doesn't matter. If God tell you to do something, do it...even if others think you are crazy.

Pursue your passion for Jesus, the church and those He loves. We can't afford to do anything less.

Awesome to... really?

Been reading the Psalms the last couple of weeks. I can so relate to the way David seems to go from God you are amazing to these people suck to God where did you go? (A very loose paraphrase to say the least.) I love the fact these emotions are shown in the Bible in how we relate to God. God does not get frustrated or upset when we bring our wide range of emotions to Him. It is the ultimate relationship. We have the chance to lay it all before Him... the outrageous dreams, the frustrations, the questions, our broken hearts...all the while He continues to love us. Jesus modeled this same consistent love and openness. He didn't tire of the sincere questions, the disciples who didn't always get it, or the people who had screwed up multiple times. In fact those are the ones he was drawn to. That is encouraging to me. He wants to be in a relationship with me. To talk to me, share his ideas, show me his love and hear what I have on my heart. Here is the part that is hard for me in the day to day of life - we are suppose to do the same. Love people, be with them and listen during their good times along with the bad, forgive multiple times. I want it from God, but have a harder time showing the same in return to others. I often want to withdraw and pull out of relationships. I get tired of the inconsistencies, the work required to make it worthwhile, being open when I would prefer to retreat, loving when I don't want to. I know I often fail at doing this, but that doesn't change the fact that is the level I have been called to. Whatever you are feeling right now, take it to God. He desires to hear from you. When you are done talking with Him, find someone to offer the same listening ear to. Be a friend that desires to hear the awesome as well as the really?

A different view

I've been listening to Brandon Heath's song "Give Me Your Eyes" a lot today. Can't seem to shake this song. This following words are from the chorus -

Give me your eyes so I can see

Everything that I keep missing

Give me your love for humanity

Give me your arms for the broken-hearted

The one that are far beyond my reach

Give me your heart for the ones forgotten

Give me your eyes so I can see

-

That describes where my heart has been the last week. I am beginning to see more of the world and the hurt that is there. My view is being stretched globally like it never has been before. Dreaming dreams that are so much larger than me that can impact the world. I am so thankful for the people in my life who are challenging me to see the hunger in Africa, the need for clean water, the view to see those who are often overlooked. Not just to see but to be broken-hearted for them. I have been given so much and am called to share what I have. I want to live as selfless as I can. Treat the things I have as just that - things. Not to be enamored with the latest and greatest, but to give to those close to me and those half way across the world. Coming to understand more and more the phrase that I heard at Catalyst last week - "Stretch me. Ruin me." I want to see what I keep missing and to freely give the love that I have received. To those who have been stretching my view, THANK YOU! Keep sharing your heart and vision so that we can reach those far beyond our reach.

Brutal honesty & wysiwyg

Funny to me how we describe things sometimes. I've caught myself using the term brutal honesty several times recently. Is there a gentle honesty? I think I will ask for that next time instead. Wouldn't we get the same answer? If it is honest, there aren't any shades to it, but that is the catch. We have warped things like honesty. We have degrees of honesty to fit our situation. Likewise, we make "white" lies okay, but not other kinds of lies. Seriously, why? We shade it so that it doesn't sound as bad or try to make it sound like something it isn't. We can rationalize a "white" lie because it doesn't hurt anyone. Really? We say we are just being totally honest. Is there another kind of honest? One where we hide part of the answer? Is that honesty? Bottom line to me is we go out of our way to make ourselves feel better. (I do realize that sometimes it is just the language we use, but still we need to be careful what we are communicating.) Wouldn't we be better if we just simply were honest and didn't lie? No shades of gray, pretty straighforward when you think about it. Which leads me to wysiwyg - what you see is what you get. Know any people like that? People who are the real deal. So transparent that sometimes it hurts being around them. We want to play the games and make things sound better. Wysiwig people break through that. That is what I want to be like. No guessing what shade of the story you are getting from me. So transparent that my friends don't have to guess what I am saying. What do you think? Can people, or better yet can you, live that way? An experiment worth pursuing for me. Let me know what you think. Come on, be brutally honest.

Dreaming the impossible

Ever have one of those dreams so big that you just don't know how it could happen, but still you can't shake it? I've been ruined by one of those today. It's an idea that I've thought about in the past but it has kind of remained on the fringes of my mind. It's one of those dreams too big for me to get my mind around how it could all work which for me means it must be a God thing. Too big for me to control so God would get the glory if it becomes a reality. The funny thing is I was being very focused on getting some stuff done at the office today. Well that has been blown now (at least a lot more difficult) because someone sent me an e-mail with an incredible idea. Not ready to share the idea at this point, but love the heart of those willing to dream big ideas and then try to figure out how it works. Does it happen? Maybe, maybe not at this point, but I know I won't ever be the same because some people are willing to dream how to impact the world. What an awesome day to be ruined! Hope your dreams are shaking up your current day as well.

What I think I think today

Random thoughts bouncing around in my head today...

• Love the fact that the two people who commented on my blog from yesterday about taking risk are the two people I know who are in another part of the world because they felt prompted by God to jump. They may question it, but they are the type of risk takers I was talking about.
• Rainy days are some of my favorites. The sound of the rain is very comforting to me. I tend to be more reflective of these types of days for whatever reason.
• Does anyone else find it interesting that Jesus calls us to love the people we have the hardest time loving? Talk about turning things upside down on us.
• Have you told the people who are influencing you, investing in you and impacting your life thank you recently? I don't think we do enough of this. I may tell other people about them, but I need to let them know what difference they are making in my life today. It could be the difference in their day.
• Threw two ideas out in our sunday school class this last week and I am curious which one we decide to pursue. One being collecting coats, hats, and gloves to hand out to the homeless before winter sets in. If we do this, I would love to collect enough to give everyone who attends the John 3:16 Missions thanksgiving dinner a set. The other idea is helping a family who is serving in ministry by meeting their practical needs and showing them an abundance of love. They are trying to serve but don't seem to be receiving the support of their community. What a statement we could make by giving to them just because we appreciate their sacrifices.
• Two things placed on my heart regarding the bigger picture. Trade As One (www.tradeasone.com) brings jobs to poor countries by offering everyday products for sale. Haven't checked it all out yet, but think it is worth looking into. The other is the global food crisis. Check out http://store.compassion.com for some t-shirts that you can buy from Compassion International to help fight starvation. (Thanks Beth for this link.)
• Amazed that a couple of my friends put up with me when I could either best be decribe as a tool or high school drama queen. (You know who you are and I thank you for enduring me during those times.)
• Want to be a leader, just not sure what that looks like for me right now.
• Love the e-mails that I've seen regarding the impromptu church we experienced last Friday night. Those moments should be the norm and not the exception.

Well those are my thoughts on this rainy Wednesday morning. Today is an excellent day to make a difference in a world looking for people who look like Jesus.

What do you need to risk?

Risk - what does that word conjure up for you? I think most people hear that word and think caution. Take it slow, get all of the facts, think through all of the options, know the lay of the land before you jump in. How does that apply to our faith? Are we to avoid risk? Proceed slowly? Jump right in? I love the risk takers. Those people who jump in and are ready for whatever may be thrown their way. I am learning to live more that way. When prompted, I try to act on it then. Not wait, not think through it too much, but just follow through with it. Scary for me a lot of times because I don't know what people will think of the ideas or thoughts I have. Will I be judged as unprepared, as a little too radical (Oh, I definitely hope so!), pushing the envelope, or as a little different (probably)? I think we spend so much time keeping our dreams from happening, from allowing God to give us big things to accomplish for him because we are afraid of the risk. We usually only get one chance at most opportunities. I don't want to miss that chance because I was afraid to jump. Kind of like the first time you go rappelling and lean out of over the edge. It is scary and requires a little bit of trust, but man is it worth it. Or the first time you go down the ski slopes. It is a risk, but each time it gets easier and more fun. What do you need to risk? For me, it is finding a new way to lead. Not held back by the way things have always been done, but willing to push the envelope. Challenge the status quo. Not reckless in doing it, but hopefully risky in the process. Again, what is it that you need to risk? Love to hear your hearts on what you are needing to risk.

Second guessing

Things I am often confident about at one moment, I tend to second guess the next day. I wish that at times I could see how the other road played out. If I didn't say this or if I had done that instead what would the outcome have been. Something I am sure is the right thing to do today, tomorrow I am wondering if I should have waited on following through. I sometimes envy those people who don't give their decisions a second thought. They are fully confident in their opinion and move forward with it. The other extreme are those who can't make a decision. Paralyzed trying to make sure they never fail. I am glad that I live in that middle ground most of the time, but occassionally question the wisdom in some of my decisions. Luckily for me, my wife acts as the filter that I run a lot of ideas through. If she is all for something, then I feel better about that decision. If there is hesitation on her part, then it often means I need to wait. I am usually willing to risk failing at something. That doesn't scare me. What I second guess the most are decisions that effect relationships. Do I really say what is on my mind or should I wait awhile longer? If I fail at a project, it may sting, but I can learn from it and move on. If I fail at a relationship moment, I may never get that opportunity again.

Have had several of those moments recently where I just don't know if I made the right decision. Was talking to a friend today and wondering how things might have played out differently if I had made some different decisions. I know that I won't ever know, but makes me cautious in my current relationships. If I had said some things or not said some things would he be in a different place today? I know everyone makes their own decisions, but I can't deny the impact others have on some of those decisions as well. Another area where I don't know. Add it to the ever-growing long list of things that I don't know. Some day it may make sense, today it just leaves me questioning the decisions I make in friendships.

I have an idea...

The words that strike fear in my wife these days are the following... I have an idea. Code word for hold on because there are some changes I want to make. It is funny to me how different we are in this area. Change excites me, not so much for her. Routine makes her feel safe, not so much for me. We have learned how to communicate this to each other. For the most part, I try to prepare her for when I have an idea that is going to change her routine. She is willing to hear me out (even though it usually costs her sleep as I tend to talk a lot more at night) and walk through the idea. We don't always agree, but usually we can get there. The key to me is that we talk about it. Honestly talk about it. The pros, the cons, what hesitations we have, any warning flags...our conversations usually cover all of that. The honest communication is what makes it work.

I have lots of ideas recently. Things to make our church more relevant (and no that isn't a bad word regardless of what some people may think) in our community. Change scares a lot of people because it can mean venturing into the unknown and that an idea may fail. The thing I've got to remember is the communication process. I am ready for change once I have the idea, but I need people who can walk through the process. It can be frustrating to me at times, but sometimes the pace needs to slow down so that change isn't ten steps ahead of where most people are. I want to push and challenge the way we do things. I am learning that is part of my role as a leader. I am also learning that being a leader means bringing others along in the process. For the idea to become a reality we have to have the right people on the bus. (This is a concept I heard from Jim Collins at Catalyst.) The key seats filled by the right people. For me that needs to include some people who can see the big picture but also who may need to slow down the pace. Again, honest communication and a willingness to walk through all of it. I truly love those people who can have those transparent and honest conversations. We may push back with each other at times, but I think that only means the idea is better in the end. It may still fail, but that is okay. Failure isn't a bad thing. It may be the step that needs to be taken to refine the idea even more or allow us to move on to the next one.

Ruined & overwhelmed

Just got back from Atlanta last night and feel I have crammed so much energy, passion, laughter, information, and thoughts to wrestle with in those four days that it seems more like four weeks. It was an incredible time and I will probably be unpacking those thoughts here for quite awhile that relate to the ideas sparked during those few days. Have to say that I continue to learn what community looks like and have been surrounded by that these last couple of weeks. I don't think it was an accident that the theme for Catalyst this year happened to be "Together" either. I think I now have a better picture of what the community talked about in Acts looks like after the last several days. Amazing, but I will get to that in a latter post I am sure.

On the Thursday (the first day of the conference), if I had to describe how I felt in one word it would be ruined. I think God had some things he wanted me to hear and things he wants me to do, but first he had to ruin me. Sound a little strange? Here is what I mean by ruined. I needed a lot of things taken out of the picture. I needed to get back to the place of where it was just me and God. Sometimes before a new building can be built you have to raze the old building. That is what I felt like. I needed to be stretched and ruined (which Craig Groeschel spoke about at the end of the that day) before He could start building me up. That is where the overwhelmed comes in. The next day was overwhelming in the love that I felt. From God, from friends and family, and even from people I didn't really know before this trip. It was an awesome day capped by one of those thin place moments. That evening I had the opportunity to worship, pray, cry and laugh with an amazing group of people. Some of them where family (also friends), some where my closest friends, and some where people I had meet two days before. Overwhelmed by the fact that only through God could this have happened. I have so many thoughts to sort through, ideas to make happen, and people to love that I am not even sure where I begin, but that is okay. I know God will figure that part out, I just need to be ready to act of it. Are you ready to be ruined by God and overwhelmed by His love?

Bullet point day

Lots of random thoughts the last couple of days, but no one particular topic...so that means it is a bullet point day. (This would be what a typical conversation would look like with me. Random jumps from various topics.)

• Leave tomorrow on a road trip to Atlanta for the Catalyst conference. Way excited about the entire trip. First, the road trip with two of my best friends. Should be interesting as usual when we get together. Second, staying at my brother-in-law's house (another of my close friends) which will have at total of 15 people staying there. Lots of people, which should be a blast. Third, the conference itself. Get to hear several of my favorite writers speak (Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, etc.) and be a part of an incredible conference. Something you need to experience if you get the chance.
• Decided to try fasting for a day. I had never done this before even though I have heard it suggested multiple times. I actually liked it and will probably try it for a couple of days in the future. Any time that I felt a little bit hungry I used that as a reminder to pray about some of the things that I have been wrestling with. Good experience, but might not be for everyone.
• Being drawn to social issues in a way I have never experienced before. Combination of new people impacting my life and reading things that challenge my perspective. Good...but exhausting.
• I am seeing more and more needs every day. I think they have always been there it is just that I am actually seeing them now.
• I am learning what it looks like to have true community. As I have been reading through Acts again, I can relate to what I read described there. It is an on-going process, but once you have a taste of it you can't help but want more of it.
• Loving the weather right now. This has to be one of my favorite times of the year. Leaves starting to change colors, weather cool in the morning and at night, perfect temperature during the day - feels refreshing and things feel new to me during this time of year. Looking forward to our annual trip to the pumpkin patch and getting to go to Neewollah this year.
• Have enjoyed getting to know some new people recently. I'm not a big group type of person, but having the chance to meet lots of people in different smaller settings recently. Sad that Jake is moving to Japan and I haven't gotten to know him real well yet, but excited about the opportunity for him and know that we will still touch base between now and when he gets back.
• Feel so fortunate to have my current job. Never describe myself as an accountant (it is what I do, not who I am) and glad to finally work somewhere that have similar type people. Besides the people, I am enjoying the lack of stress which has opened up a lot more of my life.

These are the things that I think I think today. So many diverse thoughts that it makes me feel a little A.D.D. Probably won't post the next couple of days (Unless I can borrow someone's Mac while I am gone. Thinking Caleb may get his wish for a Mac notebook sometime in the future.) as I will be out of town. I am sure I will have lots of new thoughts when I get back. Have an incredible day!

OK, I get it...again (I think)

Ever have the feeling that you are suppose to be learning something, but that you are really slow at getting it? That's my life. If you have ever seen the movie "Groundhog Day", that is what my life often looks like. I make it through the day having messed it up in multiple ways and think I am so glad that day is over only to realize that the next day has the same lesson to be learned. The funny thing is that normally the lesson for me is basically the same one each time. It has different variations and comes about in different settings and circumstances, but the general idea is the same. The idea isn't that difficult to understand, it is just putting it into practice where I have the problem. I understand the theory, just not the application. The big idea? It is simply this - It isn't about me, it is about God. When it becomes about me is when the problems occur. Last night I was around several people but felt all alone. I didn't get it because there were some people there I know fairly well and usually enjoy being around. Looking back after whining to God last night about my desire to have someone to talk about the things going on, I realized I was so focused on me that I may have missed several opportunities to serve others. That is the thing. When I focus on serving Him, then the things I am struggling with he takes care of. I don't get his timing or even pretend to have a grasp on what He can do, but I do know that is where my focus needs to be. So at least for this moment, I get it again. I will probably need someone to remind me again tomorrow, but for now I am focused on serving Him.

Random Thoughts from the Weekend

Lots of random thoughts the last several days so here is a snapshot of those.

• Finished reading TIm Stevens "Pop Goes the Church" this last week. Really like the idea of leveraging pop culture to connect with people. Liked the inclusion of pratical ideas at the end of the book (websites, series that Granger has used, books, videos, etc.) and the twenty stories of twenty different churches. Also appreciated the fact that originality is not the point, but connecting with people is. Sometimes we feel we have to do something that has never been done before to be effective, but reality is sometimes we can use another idea someone else came up with and be more effective. (Of course, giving credit to the original idea.)
• You can use two pencils to set your nose if it gets broken. (Practical things to know when you have three boys. Hopefully I don't have to use this though.)
• Jesus had a playful side. Does that stretch your view of Jesus? Good discussion this morning related to the chapter titled Daring Playfulness in "Dangerous Wonder". Love the discussions that takes place in this class. Good place to wrestle with the how we live out our lives.
• Loved having our "open refrigerator" friends over. Those friends who have refrigerator rights are those "so trusted that they can walk into your home, open your refrigerator, and help themselves to a sandwich and a drink. They don't have to ask." (Idea came from Craig Groeschel's book "It") Can laugh and have fun together. Seems to fit with my concept of Jesus' ability to have fun.
• Speaking of the book "It", I feel we are on the verge of having "It" at church. There seems to be a buzz that I can't totally explain but feel some big things are close to happening. Can't define it, but you know it when you see it.
• Thinking again about getting a tatoo. (Specifically someone's fault. Won't mention any names, but you know who you are!)
• Realized I am almost twice the target age for those playing tilleyball. Sucks to be old! (Don't know what Tilleyball is? A unique game that is all the rage. Think volleyball. Think tennis. Think four square. Add them all together and a bunch of people wanting to have fun and you have the basic recipe.)
• "Stepping forward keep us from just singing. Move us into action, we must go." from Tim Hughes song "God of Justice". Basic thought for me - Quit just singing about others and get off your butt and love them.

There is a brief look into how my mind works. These are the typical thoughts, discussions and friends I have. Move forward today and love someone.

Impact

I often wonder what my impact is on other people. The reality is most of the time I don't really know. The thing that I do know is that the way I live does impact other people. Probably more than I even realize. While I was out running some errands tonight I ran into some people from my past. One of them was the parent of a kid I used to coach in soccer about 8 years ago. She preceded to give me the update of what her son is up to and that they were talking about me just the other day. Someone I invested in for a couple of years in the past is still impacted. Made me wonder what paths I am currently crossing that I might be impacting and not even realizing it. The thing that stuck me tonight was that encounters we have, every interaction with someone, even those fleeting ones that we don't pay too much attention to are leaving an impact. What kind of impact we leave is our choice. Still don't know what impact I make most of the time, but am realizing regardless of that, my life is currently leaving an imprint somewhere. What impact will your life leave on those who cross your path?

This is what passion looks like

While I was watching some college football this last weekend, I noticed the intensity that some of the fans have for "their" football team. A call goes against their team and there would be a collective sigh of exsaperation at the obviously wrong call. A touchdown scored and the fans would celebrate like they had just won the lottery. Normal people (assumption that I am making) who on the weekend see nothing strange about painting there body and faces in team colors to show their support. Willing to talk nonstop about why their team should be ranked in the top 25. This is what passion looks like.

A conversation with someone who believes very strongly in what they are talking about. They are on the edge of their seat, leaning forward, discussion focused on the point they are making. Sometimes their voice is raised as the get excited or angry about the topic. Presenting the logic of their case. Not wanting to end the conversation until you are convinced they are right. This is what passion looks like.

Loving others where they are at. Meeting the needs of people with no other agenda than the fact we are suppose to love them. Willing to sacrifice our time and resources to change someone else's current circumstances. Investing in other people's lives without expecting anything in return. This looks like the passion that I want to be know for. Do I reflect this passion? Do we reflect our love for God through the passion of loving others? What would people say you are passionate about?