The collison of grace

When was the last time you received grace? Grace isn't something we deserve, it is by definition receiving something we don't deserve and there is the problem for me. See I don't recognize it because I think I deserve it. I am entitled to it. Someone else owes me something because of what I've done in the past. But that isn't grace. See if I feel I've earned it somehow then I miss it. Oh it is still grace, but not in my eyes. I am ungrateful for receiving it because somehow I've screwed it up in mind that I am owed something.

That grace is played out often in my life, probably daily, but I miss it. I don't deserve an incredible wife, I don't deserve to be forgiven by friends that I take for granted, I don't deserve that I am relatively healthy, I don't do anything to earn even my next breathe... it is by grace that I receive any of it. I am beginning to understand that to see this amazing grace that is surrounding me, I have to change my perspective. I have to recognize that I am not entitled to anything. I have to be thankful for those things around me. I don't earn it. I don't deserve it. I can't be good enough to receive it. It is amazingly free. I just have to recognize it and accept it. No strings attached. No rules to follow. No earning it through doing certain things. When was the last time you experienced grace?

Don't let your friends write when tired

Ponderings from a tired mind (this should be interesting):

• Current breakfast - strawberry pop tarts and a diet Coke. Yesterdays breakfast - zingers and a diet Dr. Pepper (variety is the spice of life). Shouldn't I be beyond this college type breakfast? Oh well, good news though - pop tarts are a good source of 7 minerals and vitamins (not sure what they are since the package doesn't tell me that on the front) and they are made with real fruit. None of that fake stuff here. You know I like to keep it real.
• So how do you rid of an old trash can? If you sit it on the curb with the other trash, how do they know it is trash? Noticed several trash cans this morning and made me wonder how you dispose of them. (I told you upfront I was tired.)
• Often hear about having a team approach. What I am learning is that is often a buzzword to mean you help me out when I need it, but don't expect anything from me. Cynical? Probably a little bit, but hard to find team players without their own personal agenda. Not exempting myself in this either. A friendly reminder to myself to keep my motives out in front of me. It is easy to disguise selfishness under good actions. Doesn't change the attitude though, which is where it can be dangerous. Outward appearances really don't tell the story.
• Wonder if Twitter, Facebook status, blogging, etc. reflects our self-centered lives? We are just keeping our friends updated right? When was the last time you had an actual conversation or made a phone call to tell someone the same thing you post on these? Just wondering if I am feeding my already high level of selfishness more.
• I've been watching quite a bit of football recently and it got me thinking. What if we adopted the game pat in other areas of life? At work? When the waiter provides excellent service? When Brian preaches? Where else is it common and acceptable for another person to hit your butt and for it to mean good job? Brian and Lane - you have been warned.
• Ever wonder if you have chosen the wrong profession? I missed Fall break, the trip to the pumpkin patch, spending time with my wife, church and countless other parts of my family's lives recently because of work. Also made lots of mistakes. Hate feeling like an idiot. Wonder what I should be when I grow up?
• Challenge for the week (Tyler - I know you are missing these) - find one person who is hard to serve and serve them, tell two people who have impacted your live how they have made a difference in who you are becoming, find three reasons to be thankful and give four people hugs. Ready, set, go!

Today is a new day. No carry over worries from yesterday. No problems that you can fix in the future. Today, simply love. Really that is what we are called to do. Suit up! (Shanna, that was just for you. I am thinking if you roll parts of Barney, Ted and Marshall together then it ends up being me. Extra challenge for Lisa, Shanna, Lane and Kelli - pick a characteristic of each of those guys or something they do that you would use to describe me. That should keep you busy for a little while.) Bring on Tuesday!

The relentless waves

What do you do when the waves hit? What do you do when life comes at you so fast and relentlessly? The waves feel as consistent as the ocean recently. Non-stop, one after another. No break or chance to catch my breath before the next one hits.

I've retreated. Pulled away. It is subtle the way it works. One week of craziness is easily explained, then that moves into two and so on. Before you know it you have drifted down the beach away from everyone. Standing alone in the waves. Pulling away from others when that is what you probably need the most. Those around you to keep you from drifting. Those to pull up when the waves knock you down. Those to encourage you to keep surfing and not give up. But they get used to the drift as well. They know you are busy and trying to just survive so they give you space. The one week of space turns into two and then three and before you know it they are no longer in the picture.

Why do we choose the opposite of what we need? We need friends around, people who know the real us, people who love as relentless as the waves... we need community, but we choose isolation. We choose to go it alone. We choose to pretend things are fine. We talk ourselves into believing we are unique. No one else faces the waves. I have chosen those things recently.

So what do you do? I'm thinking the mountains sound good right about now. Screw the waves.

Loyalty vs. the bus

I have three very different boys. Their personalities, interests, taste, you name it and it is probably different for each one of them. One of the things that they do have in common, and one of the things I love, is that they are loyal to a fault. Each of them are loyal to their friends. Now they each do it in their own way that fits who they are, but they stand by their friends. The oldest one is still close with friends he met 10 years ago in preschool and kindergarten. Once a friend, always a friend is his motto. He is a collector of friends, always willing to add to the collection. The middle one has a smaller circle of friends, but is extremely loyal to those select few. He wants to spend his free time with that one who is his best friend. The youngest one never meets a stranger. Fifteen minutes after meeting someone at the park, he wants to invite them over to the house. A wider circle of friends, but very loyal to two or three that he always wants to be doing something with.

I hope they never grow out of that. One of the observations I have made recently is that as adults, instead of loyalty, it looks more like Survivor. Alliances of convenience are made. It helps them get what they want and then when it comes down to it, they are willing to throw you under the bus to get ahead. It is hard to trust someone who is willing to throw you under the bus. Loyalty doesn't seem to apply anymore.

I know there is still loyalty in friendships, I have experienced it. It just seems more rare as you become an adult. I wonder if it is because loyalty often comes from vulnerability? When I trust someone enough to let them see the cracks in my life, the things I struggle with, the transparency of who I am and they still stand by me that creates loyalty. A person who knows how imperfect I am and still chooses to be there defines loyalty. It is the being there through the good and the bad.

Do you feel like you are always a step away from being voted off the island? Do you wonder if you will be thrown under the bus so that they can look better? Are you willing to risk vulnerability? Are you loyal? Some things we should never grow out of.

Powerful words

Words can be powerful. Twice this weekend I received some unexpected words of encouragement.

On Sunday, an older gentleman at our church stopped Lisa and I as we were leaving. He pulled us into a partial hug and told us that he had been watching us. He had watched us grow up in front of him and that he loved watching us because we were the cutest couple. Powerful words coming from a man I watched with his wife and thought that is how I want to grow old together with Lisa. You know that cute older couple that still holds hands and truly enjoys each others company. A couple that has demonstrated a consistent faith and poured their lives into multiple people over the years. I've watched as he struggles to adjust to life since his wife has died, but here he is still pouring into people. Powerful words.

On Friday, I received a thank you message on Facebook. It was unexpected because it was a thank you for something that happened a year ago. Last year I had the opportunity to go to Catalyst with Lane and a couple of his cousins. I hadn't ever met his cousins before that week, but those couple of days had a significant impact on my life. I got to listen and spend time with three guys who are chasing after Jesus in incredible ways. They have invested their lives in impacting students lives, loving their wives, and being awesome examples of what men are supposed to be. I wasn't able to go to Catalyst this year (major bummer), but Levi was there this year and took a moment to say it reminded him of hanging out last year. Words of encouragement received at just the right time. Powerful words.

So what are you doing with your words? Are they making a difference in other people's lives? Never know when that five minutes you take to encourage someone may make the difference they need that day. Words are powerful. You can choose to tear others down, gossip, lie, build yourself up or maybe make an impact on someone else. What will your words do today?