Choose your words carefully. I know I've told our boys that before. Meaning be intentional about what you say and also don't say something you will want to take back later. I should listen to my own advice. I had a friend tell me today that something I had said was hurtful to him. I wish I could have taken it back. Or at least said it better. Apparently my communication skills aren't as good as I imagine. Good reminder that what we say, in any context, can be pretty powerful. We write off comments as "just kidding" or being sarcastic. Probably true most of the time, but I want to remember that it doesn't really matter what or how I say something but how the other person perceives it that matters. If I am more concerned about the other person than making my point, then my words will reflect that. I am so glad that he was willing to be honest with me because that helps me to keep a better perspective on how the way I live and the things I say impact people on many different levels. Back to kindergarten to learn the basics again.
Also had an unexpected phone call from a former student. He wanted to run an idea by me. Let's just say I love the way he is exploring the possibilities of making a huge dream come true. I love hearing people dream and talk about what they want to accomplish. Not small things that they can necessarily do on their own, but things they know will require God's involvement to accomplish them. That energizes me a lot. People willing to live their lives with a purpose that is bigger than themselves. Why think small and only look at what we can accomplish? That's not really dreaming to me. I love being surrounded by people who stretch my view. I have several friends who do that on a consistent basis, sometimes intentionally and other times just because that is how they live. Those who are willing to pursue their dreams are the ones who will change the status quo. How do you challenge the average?
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Random thoughts from lunch
I received a text with the following quote from a friend of mine at lunch today - "A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." He had said he thought it fits me. I had to laugh at that. Seems kind of ironic based on my earlier blog today, which I don't think he has read yet. The conversation that we had through texting was very refreshing for me. Funny how when certain things are needed they come through some unusual methods. Love that unpredictability!
Started reading "Surprised by Hope" by N.T. Wright at lunch today. Another friend had informed me a while back that a couple of us would be reading through this book and discussing it. Can tell it is one of those books that I will have to think through a lot as I read. Never read any of his other books so I am not sure what to expect. I like reading new authors as it often brings a new perspective on how I see things. I'm sure parts of the book will make its way into my thoughts I write about on here. (Assuming that I can understand the depth of the book. Not good to read heavy stuff while on cold medicine. Makes concepts a little tougher to grasp.)
Additional follow-up on a thought I touched upon in my blog earlier. Opening up with some people about what is going on with me has started some dialogue about those things. Can't say that I enjoy those conversations but know that for me they probably need to take place. Sometimes community is hard, but much better than being alone.
Started reading "Surprised by Hope" by N.T. Wright at lunch today. Another friend had informed me a while back that a couple of us would be reading through this book and discussing it. Can tell it is one of those books that I will have to think through a lot as I read. Never read any of his other books so I am not sure what to expect. I like reading new authors as it often brings a new perspective on how I see things. I'm sure parts of the book will make its way into my thoughts I write about on here. (Assuming that I can understand the depth of the book. Not good to read heavy stuff while on cold medicine. Makes concepts a little tougher to grasp.)
Additional follow-up on a thought I touched upon in my blog earlier. Opening up with some people about what is going on with me has started some dialogue about those things. Can't say that I enjoy those conversations but know that for me they probably need to take place. Sometimes community is hard, but much better than being alone.
Rainy days
The cloudy and rainy weather has reflected my mood this week. (Sorry if that has come through in my most recent blogs. Sometimes I think I might show too much of myself in my thoughts here. For me, writing about things helps me sort out my thoughts, but it also gives you a glimpse into the strange world in my head. So again sorry if my recent funk has come through on these pages.) The good thing is that like after the stormy weather ends there is a day of sunshine trying to peek through. I feel I am moving past those dark nights of the storm where everything feels like it is crashing in around you. Nothing has really change in the things going on around me, but I have brought them to light to some of those people who care for me and that makes a huge difference. I may still be feeling lousy physically, feel overwhelmed with the situations around me, and not connected like I want to be, but I do know that I am not trying to do it by myself. There is some sunshine trying to break through the clouds.
I don't understand how people try to do this thing called life by themselves. I rely so much on the authentic community that surrounds me. It isn't always perfect, but I know, even when it is at its darkest moments, that I have people who will share the pain that I feel. People willing to go that extra mile for me. Do you have those type people in your life? The ones you turn to when things are down or that you can count on when you need someone to help you through it. If things are sunny for you right now, why not take a moment to say thanks to those people in your life. Let them know that they are part of what makes you load lighter and brightens your day.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Moderation or fullness?
How do these two items mesh? I've heard it said that taking things in moderation is best for you, but how does that go with living life to the fullest? Can we have too much of life, too much love, too many friendships, too much _________? At times I feel I can take it all on, while at other times I want to pull away from it all. I know a balanced life doesn't exist for me, but what is the answer?
Trying to find that place for me right now in relationships. I love the fact that I have been able to reconnect with some friends that haven't been in the picture much recently. Others are less involved right now. What is the rhythm of those friendships? I go from wanting crazy in-depth friendships to wanting to pull away. Can you have moderation and still have the fullest in a friendship?
My relationship with God seems similar. At times I hear His whisper, while at other times I completely miss Him in the chaos of life. Moderation seems to yell mediocrity to me. Not my fullest for Him, but something less. That doesn't seem right when I see the example that Jesus set for us to follow.
What is the right answer? Do you take the stable and go with moderation or do you live in the ups and downs of trying to live life to the fullest?
Trying to find that place for me right now in relationships. I love the fact that I have been able to reconnect with some friends that haven't been in the picture much recently. Others are less involved right now. What is the rhythm of those friendships? I go from wanting crazy in-depth friendships to wanting to pull away. Can you have moderation and still have the fullest in a friendship?
My relationship with God seems similar. At times I hear His whisper, while at other times I completely miss Him in the chaos of life. Moderation seems to yell mediocrity to me. Not my fullest for Him, but something less. That doesn't seem right when I see the example that Jesus set for us to follow.
What is the right answer? Do you take the stable and go with moderation or do you live in the ups and downs of trying to live life to the fullest?
What are you doing?
I was reading out of "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan today at lunch when I read the following "What are you doing that requires faith?" That is a tough question for me. One of those questions that makes me stop and evaluate what it is exactly that I am doing. Am I doing anything that I can't accomplish on my own? As a Christian I am making a statement that I believe in God and am trying to pursue living my life as Jesus did. Do my actions show that? Or is the reality that I act no differently than those who make no claims to believe in those things. Do people look at the church and ask what is the difference? If they can't see God accomplishing things in my life that I can't do on my own, then I am not living a life that requires faith. We talk a lot about faith, but I wonder how much people really see that faith lived out. Do I claim faith, but live as if there is no God? Reading through the bible we see stories of people who would probably be described today as crazy or at least radical in the things they did. They took God at his word and lived on faith - Noah worked on building a huge ark for 120 years when it has never rained before, the disciples followed Jesus and took nothing with them as they relied on him to provide, and there are countless other stories. Sure they were messed up people just like me, but they lived out their faith. What are you doing today that requires having faith in God?
Rhythm
Do you have a rhythm to the way you live? Mine seems to follow my personality of all or nothing. I go from one extreme - nonstop activities in the evening, getting together with friends consistently, not enough sleep, working out every day, to the other end of the spectrum - absolutely nothing planned at night, no effort to get together with friends, not working out for a month (the sleep one doesn't really ever swing to the other side). Not sure how you change that type of rhythm but I would like to smooth it out some. The funny thing to me is that people have often used the word consistent to describe me. I feel I am anything but consistent in my life. I go from feeling I have the closest friendships possible to questioning whether they mean anything at all (good thing my wife has a degree in psychology).
My pursuit of being like Jesus often looks like this as well. If you would graph my pursuit it would be all over the board. Intense at times, with other times where I am more focused on myself. Moving forward but not always with the consistency that I would like. I relate to how the Psalms speak of how incredible God is to the next minute questioning why He has seemed to remove his presence from my life. (I know he hasn't, but at times life feels overwhelming.) What does the rhythm of your life look like?
My pursuit of being like Jesus often looks like this as well. If you would graph my pursuit it would be all over the board. Intense at times, with other times where I am more focused on myself. Moving forward but not always with the consistency that I would like. I relate to how the Psalms speak of how incredible God is to the next minute questioning why He has seemed to remove his presence from my life. (I know he hasn't, but at times life feels overwhelming.) What does the rhythm of your life look like?
Monday, April 27, 2009
Name on a list
Mass e-mail sent to you and 19 other of their closest friends. One of 457 facebook friends, but definitely in the list of 16 "top friends". Text message sent to you and 14 others to give you the latest update. Kind of makes you feel special huh? Not sure the social networking has much of a personal touch. Wondering am I a friend or someone they are marketing to?
Conversations summed up in 30 words or less. Face to face conversations interrupted by countless text messages that must be responded to. A quick text so that you don't actually have to talk with someone.
I actually like most of those ways of communicating, but often wonder if the person I am talking to is already focused on the next conversation they will be having instead of really listening to me. What do you think - are conversations outdated these days?
Conversations summed up in 30 words or less. Face to face conversations interrupted by countless text messages that must be responded to. A quick text so that you don't actually have to talk with someone.
I actually like most of those ways of communicating, but often wonder if the person I am talking to is already focused on the next conversation they will be having instead of really listening to me. What do you think - are conversations outdated these days?
Remembering
Is there value in remembering? I was reading through the reports of the group that went on the Chicago mission trip today at lunch. Hearing their stories of how the week impacted them and change their perspectives. A week in their life.
Last night was the dinner for our graduating seniors from church. A chance to reflect on the trips they've made together, the conversations that have taken place and the fun that we've had. A quick look back at where they've been before setting their sights on that next step.
A video or pictures from a Saturday spent on the soccer fields, a percussion concert, a play put on for the parents, moments captured so that we can remember. Scrapbooking albums filled with memories from vacations, snapshots of friends and family, big moments in our boys' lives and those that occur every day.
A blog written to record my thoughts at the moment. A chance to remember the things God is teaching me, a chance to ask the questions of why, a way to reflect on the way others have impacted me. Notes saved from people I care about greatly. Conversations that lead to "remember when" moments.
The bible is another marker for us to remember God. Stories, snapshots in time, gentle (and sometimes not so gentle) reminders of a God who has an incredible love for us. Write it on your heart. Remember Me.
Do we stop long enough to really remember and reflect? I wonder how often we live our lives in a blur not even thinking about the day before, the friends in our lives, the lessons we learned earlier this year. When is the last time you spent some time remembering? For me, that moment to pause and think about where I've been, provides much needed perspective and the chance to be grateful for all of those moments and people that have impacted my life.
Just feeling a bit reflective today.
Last night was the dinner for our graduating seniors from church. A chance to reflect on the trips they've made together, the conversations that have taken place and the fun that we've had. A quick look back at where they've been before setting their sights on that next step.
A video or pictures from a Saturday spent on the soccer fields, a percussion concert, a play put on for the parents, moments captured so that we can remember. Scrapbooking albums filled with memories from vacations, snapshots of friends and family, big moments in our boys' lives and those that occur every day.
A blog written to record my thoughts at the moment. A chance to remember the things God is teaching me, a chance to ask the questions of why, a way to reflect on the way others have impacted me. Notes saved from people I care about greatly. Conversations that lead to "remember when" moments.
The bible is another marker for us to remember God. Stories, snapshots in time, gentle (and sometimes not so gentle) reminders of a God who has an incredible love for us. Write it on your heart. Remember Me.
Do we stop long enough to really remember and reflect? I wonder how often we live our lives in a blur not even thinking about the day before, the friends in our lives, the lessons we learned earlier this year. When is the last time you spent some time remembering? For me, that moment to pause and think about where I've been, provides much needed perspective and the chance to be grateful for all of those moments and people that have impacted my life.
Just feeling a bit reflective today.
On the edges
Ever feel like there is something you are suppose to be getting but it is just beyond your grasp? I have had that feeling this morning. The feeling that there is something big that is flirting around the edges of my thoughts but I can't quite put my mind around it. Some thought that will blow me away and change how I see things. As I was reading in John and Proverbs this morning it was there. As I caught up on e-mails and scanned through the blogs I read on Google Reader it was there. As thoughts of various people in my life and the conversations we have had recently pop into my head, I feel I am very close to the edge of seeing it.
Wonder if it is God playing hide and seek with me? Him saying come and search for me. I am just around the corner if you look hard enough. Don't stop looking as the next thought might be the one that makes everything fall into place. I am on the edge, but I don't know what the next step is. I have learned over time that being at the edge is where I learn to trust the most. It may be safer farther away from the edges, but what would I miss out on by playing it safe? I will keeping looking and listening and hopefully the thing that is just beyond my grasp will come clearly into focus. If not, then I keep pursuing anyways.
Wonder if it is God playing hide and seek with me? Him saying come and search for me. I am just around the corner if you look hard enough. Don't stop looking as the next thought might be the one that makes everything fall into place. I am on the edge, but I don't know what the next step is. I have learned over time that being at the edge is where I learn to trust the most. It may be safer farther away from the edges, but what would I miss out on by playing it safe? I will keeping looking and listening and hopefully the thing that is just beyond my grasp will come clearly into focus. If not, then I keep pursuing anyways.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Labels
Let's just get this out of the way to start - I don't liked to be labeled. Think you have me figured out? I may very well do something just to prove you wrong. I've been described as the following in some form or another recently - reflective, quiet, thinks too much, introverted and so on. Do those describe me? Probably at times, but they don't capture the whole of who I am. The thing with labels is that they are quick and easy. Tag them and then we can move on. I think that is how we treat people a lot of time. Quick assessment, boil it down and then label them. Would that change if we would take the time to really get to know people? I have tried to describe some of my friends before in 3 words and it is tough. Why? Because they have so many different parts that make up who they are.
Okay, big picture, isn't this what we are often guilty of as a church? Christian, sinner, insider, outsider, believer, unbeliever - labels that are quick but don't capture who we are. On any given day all of those labels could probably describe me. Am I trying to pursue being like Christ? Sure. Do I sin? Sure. Do I feel like I belong? Sure. Do I feel like I am on the outside? Sure. All describe me, but none fully describe me. The person you pass briefly every day or see occasionally on Sunday, have you labeled them? Slow down, see the people around you, and decide to take the time to really know who they are. Labels just aren't going to cut it any more.
ONLY FOR THE ADVENTUROUS - best shot at describing yourself in 3 words (and you can't use adventurous because I already did to describe you). Also if you want to go for it all, describe me in 3 words (please refraing from using any of the labels above).
Okay, big picture, isn't this what we are often guilty of as a church? Christian, sinner, insider, outsider, believer, unbeliever - labels that are quick but don't capture who we are. On any given day all of those labels could probably describe me. Am I trying to pursue being like Christ? Sure. Do I sin? Sure. Do I feel like I belong? Sure. Do I feel like I am on the outside? Sure. All describe me, but none fully describe me. The person you pass briefly every day or see occasionally on Sunday, have you labeled them? Slow down, see the people around you, and decide to take the time to really know who they are. Labels just aren't going to cut it any more.
ONLY FOR THE ADVENTUROUS - best shot at describing yourself in 3 words (and you can't use adventurous because I already did to describe you). Also if you want to go for it all, describe me in 3 words (please refraing from using any of the labels above).
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Impressions
Chaos - that is what things feel like for me today. I feel like I have re-entered life and am way out of step. Out of touch with what is happening in the lives of the people around me. Answering e-mails at work about things that I don't remember. The sad thing is that I was only gone a couple of days. Life moves on in a blur.
Days like this make me wonder what it will be like when I die. I think most people feel like they will be missed when they die, that they have impacted the world around them in some important way. I on the other hand am not so sure. I know that I will be missed by some but also realize how quickly we adapt as well. In high school, your best friend moves away and you promise to keep in touch. Five years or ten years later, you don't know what they are doing anymore. Your roommate in college that you were extremely close with, now you are maybe friends with on facebook. Life continues to move on even when we step out the picture.
That is probably one of my biggest struggles. I want to impact the lives of the people that are in my life, but know that it may be fleeting. I want the funeral where people talk about how much their lives were changed because they caught a glimpse of Jesus in the way that I tried to live. My fear is that it isn't that though. The friends I have today may take note that I am not here anymore, but a couple days later they will be moving on with life without a second thought. We really don't know how much time we get to impact those around us. Maybe several years, maybe a short season, but whatever the time frame I want to do the most I can to leave a lasting impression of who Jesus is. Anything less than that, then I have blown an opportunity that I can't get back. What impressions are you making today?
Days like this make me wonder what it will be like when I die. I think most people feel like they will be missed when they die, that they have impacted the world around them in some important way. I on the other hand am not so sure. I know that I will be missed by some but also realize how quickly we adapt as well. In high school, your best friend moves away and you promise to keep in touch. Five years or ten years later, you don't know what they are doing anymore. Your roommate in college that you were extremely close with, now you are maybe friends with on facebook. Life continues to move on even when we step out the picture.
That is probably one of my biggest struggles. I want to impact the lives of the people that are in my life, but know that it may be fleeting. I want the funeral where people talk about how much their lives were changed because they caught a glimpse of Jesus in the way that I tried to live. My fear is that it isn't that though. The friends I have today may take note that I am not here anymore, but a couple days later they will be moving on with life without a second thought. We really don't know how much time we get to impact those around us. Maybe several years, maybe a short season, but whatever the time frame I want to do the most I can to leave a lasting impression of who Jesus is. Anything less than that, then I have blown an opportunity that I can't get back. What impressions are you making today?
Saturday, April 18, 2009
The unexpected
I love the unexpected (Most of the time. More on that in a minute). I've had several conversation like that today. A message (more like a novel) on facebook from a friend that covered a lot of ground. A random comment from another friend that left me wondering what is on the horizon. Some IMing with another friend that we usually get to hang out with on Saturday nights. None of which I expected.
Also got to coach Jacob's soccer game today as his coach was not able to be there. It was the first time that I have coached in about 7 years. I coached for about 12 years when we first moved to Tulsa. Have to say that my voice was out of practice. By the second half my voice would go out as I was trying to yell something to the boys. My wife found this rather entertaining. I would just about lose my voice all of the time when I used to coach. It was a lot of fun and reminded me of all the different teams that I coached in that time and the different kids that I had on those teams. Good memories.
Tonight we had a bunch of talkative middle school boys over for Caleb's birthday party. We hung out here for a little while and then went to play laser tag. Let's just say it was hard to hear much of anything in the van as they were all talking at once. I used to think that was only a middle school girl thing, but I was wrong. Different things they talk about I'm sure, but they still manage to talk a lot. Caleb has always had good friends and love the people he chooses to surround himself with even though they tend to talk a lot.
This week has been interesting as we wondered if Lisa might be pregnant (she isn't). That would have been very unexpected! (say about a 1 in 1000 chance) But as I was thinking about that during the week, I decided that I was okay with not knowing what the plan was. I am learning more and more that the unexpected isn't something I can control so why worry about it. What do you think about the unexpected? Do you like it or dread it? Makes me wonder what is coming up next in my life. Should be interesting as usual.
Also got to coach Jacob's soccer game today as his coach was not able to be there. It was the first time that I have coached in about 7 years. I coached for about 12 years when we first moved to Tulsa. Have to say that my voice was out of practice. By the second half my voice would go out as I was trying to yell something to the boys. My wife found this rather entertaining. I would just about lose my voice all of the time when I used to coach. It was a lot of fun and reminded me of all the different teams that I coached in that time and the different kids that I had on those teams. Good memories.
Tonight we had a bunch of talkative middle school boys over for Caleb's birthday party. We hung out here for a little while and then went to play laser tag. Let's just say it was hard to hear much of anything in the van as they were all talking at once. I used to think that was only a middle school girl thing, but I was wrong. Different things they talk about I'm sure, but they still manage to talk a lot. Caleb has always had good friends and love the people he chooses to surround himself with even though they tend to talk a lot.
This week has been interesting as we wondered if Lisa might be pregnant (she isn't). That would have been very unexpected! (say about a 1 in 1000 chance) But as I was thinking about that during the week, I decided that I was okay with not knowing what the plan was. I am learning more and more that the unexpected isn't something I can control so why worry about it. What do you think about the unexpected? Do you like it or dread it? Makes me wonder what is coming up next in my life. Should be interesting as usual.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Diversity of friends
Had the chance to hang out with a friend last night and have some good conversation. We were sitting outside at Nordaggio's and the temperature was just about ideal. My ideal evening with friends would look something like this most of the time. Outdoors with the temperature of a nice spring or fall evening, conversation that covers a lot but with no particular agenda, no time constraints so that the conversation wasn't rushed and went from serious to humorous throughout the evening. Those are the evenings I enjoy a lot.
One of the questions I was asked was if I would describe Lisa and I as similar. Yes and no. We have a lot of the same passions and priorities, but are personalities and perspectives are different. Really that sums up a lot of my friendships as well. As we talked about some of that last night, it brought to mind a couple of my friends. You see I don't have "normal" friendships (whatever that is). See one of my friends I coached in soccer when he was 10, another friend was in a small group I lead when he was in high school and only 15, another I met on a plane on a trip to Vegas, and others friendship have grown as we serve together. I love the diversity of those friends. Personalities that run from one end of the spectrum to the other.
I haven't seen Jeff in a couple of years as he has been in Thailand, but I still look forward to the chance to hang out with him and go grab a Coke like we did 16 years ago. The conversations have changed over time as our lives have changed, how often we can get together has changed also, but I still know what has created that bond in our friendship hasn't changed. We can jump in where we left off.
Chris and I manage to get together ever once in awhile. Life has also changed our conversations as well. It doesn't involve me telling him to run more laps because of his endless energy, but we have been through a lot of life together. I've had the chance to be on the edges as he moved through high school, got married, had a baby and through the countless decisions of what career to pursue. He is the friend that will call me out of the blue to just check on me if we haven't talked in awhile. We have lots of differences, but still yet we are friends.
I look at the people I talk to now and wonder if they will be the ones that stand the test of time as well. I don't know what it is that makes some friendships last and others move on, but I want to be a collector of more friends like Jeff, Chris, Shane and Brian. Those friends that after more than 10 years we are still talking and laughing together. Our lives have crossed paths and we continue to pursue that. Those passions and priorities we share continue to draw us together for yet another conversation. Wonder where that next lifelong friendship will develop?
One of the questions I was asked was if I would describe Lisa and I as similar. Yes and no. We have a lot of the same passions and priorities, but are personalities and perspectives are different. Really that sums up a lot of my friendships as well. As we talked about some of that last night, it brought to mind a couple of my friends. You see I don't have "normal" friendships (whatever that is). See one of my friends I coached in soccer when he was 10, another friend was in a small group I lead when he was in high school and only 15, another I met on a plane on a trip to Vegas, and others friendship have grown as we serve together. I love the diversity of those friends. Personalities that run from one end of the spectrum to the other.
I haven't seen Jeff in a couple of years as he has been in Thailand, but I still look forward to the chance to hang out with him and go grab a Coke like we did 16 years ago. The conversations have changed over time as our lives have changed, how often we can get together has changed also, but I still know what has created that bond in our friendship hasn't changed. We can jump in where we left off.
Chris and I manage to get together ever once in awhile. Life has also changed our conversations as well. It doesn't involve me telling him to run more laps because of his endless energy, but we have been through a lot of life together. I've had the chance to be on the edges as he moved through high school, got married, had a baby and through the countless decisions of what career to pursue. He is the friend that will call me out of the blue to just check on me if we haven't talked in awhile. We have lots of differences, but still yet we are friends.
I look at the people I talk to now and wonder if they will be the ones that stand the test of time as well. I don't know what it is that makes some friendships last and others move on, but I want to be a collector of more friends like Jeff, Chris, Shane and Brian. Those friends that after more than 10 years we are still talking and laughing together. Our lives have crossed paths and we continue to pursue that. Those passions and priorities we share continue to draw us together for yet another conversation. Wonder where that next lifelong friendship will develop?
Thursday, April 16, 2009
And yet another one
Apparently I have a lot on my mind today as this is my third post today (even a lot by my standards). Read the following things on a couple of the blogs that I read that have captured my attention and been bouncing around in my head today so I wanted to share them with you.
The eyes of Jesus
penetrate my heart
past all my defenses
He makes me uncomfortable
how hard it is
to meet his gaze
In unexpected ways
He changes me, in places
I'm comfortable, secure
His love pushes me
to display His love
not counting the cost
This struck a chord with me because I often feel uncomfortable when Jesus examines the areas of my life where I have gotten too comfortable. I have the choice to run from His gaze or allow it to change me.
The other thing I read was this - "Delayed obedience is disobedience. And most of our regrets won't be about the things we did... but the things we didn't do." Reminds me of when I tell our boys to do something and they say "in a minute" or when they ask me to do something and my answer is "not right now". This is how we treat God a lot of times as well. It isn't convenient right now so we tell God to wait or procrastinate in doing it. What does that disobedience (ouch!) cost us in opportunities missed? What appointments has God lined up for us that we have missed because we were going to get to it "in a minute"? I want to soften the word disobedience so it doesn't sting quite so much. Disobedience means I purposely choose to ignore God. I want to convince myself that I have good intentions but just not enough time right now, or not the resources at the moment, or not the ________ (fill in the blank) when in reality I usually just don't want to do it right then. Tough to voice that reality. That's why I often need other people in my life to point those things out. Are there any areas in your life that you are being disobedient by your delayed obedience?
What am I waiting on?
Can praying about something or taking time to think about it actually be a way for us to be passive and not take action? I have heard people say in meetings at church that maybe we should pray about it for awhile and then come back and talk some more. Sometimes that is probably the right answer. Other times that is an excuse to delay doing what God has placed before us. I decided to move on something last night that I had been "thinking about" for awhile. Really, I knew that God had something in mind for me in this area and was waiting on me to take some action. So I quit stalling and talked to some of the people that I needed to. Why did it take me so long?
A lot of the time I want to have it all figured out before I go forward, but usually even if I think I might have it figured out I don't. How many times does God have to show me that I really don't have a clue but that He does? I become passive and hide in the "right" religious talk. How can someone argue with you praying about a decision? They can't, so that becomes our answer for everything. I do think we are supposed to pray about things, but when that becomes are shield from moving into action somehow I don't think that is what God had in mind. Let's not turn prayer into an excuse for being content to sit on our butts. Seek guidance, but once you have answer (which may come through hearing His prompting through many different ways - prayer, that quiet voice, through someone else's wisdom, reading, etc.) then it is time to move into action. Is there anything you are praying or thinking about that you already know the answer? If so, now is a good time to follow through with it.
A lot of the time I want to have it all figured out before I go forward, but usually even if I think I might have it figured out I don't. How many times does God have to show me that I really don't have a clue but that He does? I become passive and hide in the "right" religious talk. How can someone argue with you praying about a decision? They can't, so that becomes our answer for everything. I do think we are supposed to pray about things, but when that becomes are shield from moving into action somehow I don't think that is what God had in mind. Let's not turn prayer into an excuse for being content to sit on our butts. Seek guidance, but once you have answer (which may come through hearing His prompting through many different ways - prayer, that quiet voice, through someone else's wisdom, reading, etc.) then it is time to move into action. Is there anything you are praying or thinking about that you already know the answer? If so, now is a good time to follow through with it.
Rubik's cube
Did you have a Rubik's cube growing up? Maybe you were one of those people who could solve it no matter how messed up it was. Not me. I was the one who thought about taking off the different color stickers and rearranging them so that it looked like I had figured it out. The fact that I couldn't usually solve it didn't stop me from trying though.
You might be wondering where this is going or you may just know that I am weird and not think too much about it, but there is a point. It occurred to me this morning while I was reading that I am still trying to solve that Rubik's cube in my life. I want the control of trying to put everything in order. I want to arrange things in my life to look like I think they should. Sometimes even considering the shortcuts to make things appear right. What I know though is that I am not in control. I wonder if me trying to solve my life actually moves it that many more steps away from where it needs to be. Reality is that I need to stop trying so hard to have control and just follow God's direction. It was much easier to solve the Rubik's cube when someone who knew what they were doing would give me the instructions on what moves to make. Bottom line is that I need to listen more to God and realize that he has been in control all along.
Bonus question for the brave at heart or those who are simply bored - What toy or game best describes your life where it is at today? Come on and take a shot at answering it, stretch your imagination a little today.
You might be wondering where this is going or you may just know that I am weird and not think too much about it, but there is a point. It occurred to me this morning while I was reading that I am still trying to solve that Rubik's cube in my life. I want the control of trying to put everything in order. I want to arrange things in my life to look like I think they should. Sometimes even considering the shortcuts to make things appear right. What I know though is that I am not in control. I wonder if me trying to solve my life actually moves it that many more steps away from where it needs to be. Reality is that I need to stop trying so hard to have control and just follow God's direction. It was much easier to solve the Rubik's cube when someone who knew what they were doing would give me the instructions on what moves to make. Bottom line is that I need to listen more to God and realize that he has been in control all along.
Bonus question for the brave at heart or those who are simply bored - What toy or game best describes your life where it is at today? Come on and take a shot at answering it, stretch your imagination a little today.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
The change experience
Had one of those moments last night of realizing how drastically different my life has become over the last year. Lisa and I were talking last night after running in multiple directions in the evening (not the new part) and I realized that the next day was April 15th. That date used to be a cause for celebration around our house. (We decided we are still going to celebrate because you can't really have too many excuses to get away for some time together.) It meant that the insane busy season would be over and life would slow down at least for a little while. Now it was just another night. The change in my job has meant so many different things in our lives. We are able to have a date night almost every week, we get the chance to enjoy community with our good friends more often (especially the Saturday night gang), I've been able to write more frequently, I've been able to read and think about things that interest me, I am learning what it is like to have incredibly close friends again. One change has made huge ripples in my life.
That got me thinking about change. Most people don't like change as it disrupts the routine, but sometimes that can be a freeing experience. What if we did things differently in how we try to be the church? What kind of ripple effect would that have? I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and we were talking about how sometimes we keep doing the same thing and keep expecting different results. Wouldn't it be exciting to try some new things and not know what the results will be? The biggest hurdle is really convincing people that change can be good. What would change in your life look like? Sometimes change comes about when we least expect it. We hadn't planned on it, but it is coming regardless. Are we ready for all of the things coming? Probably not, but that is part of the freedom. We get to learn and experience life in a new way. How exciting is that? Wondering what the next change in my life will bring. Hopefully it continues to bring more incredible people into my life, new things to experience, and things that allow me learn and grow. For those of you who don't like change quite as much, hang on for the ride because it will be worth it in the end.
That got me thinking about change. Most people don't like change as it disrupts the routine, but sometimes that can be a freeing experience. What if we did things differently in how we try to be the church? What kind of ripple effect would that have? I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and we were talking about how sometimes we keep doing the same thing and keep expecting different results. Wouldn't it be exciting to try some new things and not know what the results will be? The biggest hurdle is really convincing people that change can be good. What would change in your life look like? Sometimes change comes about when we least expect it. We hadn't planned on it, but it is coming regardless. Are we ready for all of the things coming? Probably not, but that is part of the freedom. We get to learn and experience life in a new way. How exciting is that? Wondering what the next change in my life will bring. Hopefully it continues to bring more incredible people into my life, new things to experience, and things that allow me learn and grow. For those of you who don't like change quite as much, hang on for the ride because it will be worth it in the end.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Critical spirit
What is the difference between being critical or judgemental versus being honest about areas for growth in our conversations? I often feel I cross that line. Saying "I'm just being honest" or saying that it is just my opinion doesn't mean it can't hurt the other person. As much I enjoy writing and feel I am decent at communicating my ideas, I feel I often choose the wrong words in this area. The tough thing for me is that I don't get a do-over. Once I've said something, I can't take it back. Any damage caused by my words has already been done. I don't intentionally try to be critical nor do I want to be "that" person, but it often seems my default is to find fault in others. How do you change from being critical to encouraging? I want to be the one people turn to when then need a good word to lift them up. I want to find the awesome qualities in the people I care about and let them hear about those more often. How do you move from finding the things that are wrong to finding the things that are right?
I know there is a place for challenging others to grow, but that can easily become a way to hurt them as well. I want to build others up instead of tearing them down. We casually treat our words as something that doesn't mean much, but in reality they have a lot of power in them. Sticks and stone may break your bones, but words can cause a lot of damage as well. Trying to figure out how to be real, but also want to choose my words with great care so that they show love. Sometimes saying nothing may be better than having my opinion heard. In the grander scheme of things, my opinions don't really matter much, but the love that I can show to others may make a huge difference in their lives.
So how do you help someone grow without tearing them down? Still trying to figure out how to live this life making the best impact possible. Love to hear your thoughts.
I know there is a place for challenging others to grow, but that can easily become a way to hurt them as well. I want to build others up instead of tearing them down. We casually treat our words as something that doesn't mean much, but in reality they have a lot of power in them. Sticks and stone may break your bones, but words can cause a lot of damage as well. Trying to figure out how to be real, but also want to choose my words with great care so that they show love. Sometimes saying nothing may be better than having my opinion heard. In the grander scheme of things, my opinions don't really matter much, but the love that I can show to others may make a huge difference in their lives.
So how do you help someone grow without tearing them down? Still trying to figure out how to live this life making the best impact possible. Love to hear your thoughts.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Testing yourself
Do you ever critically look at your life and see how you measure up? I often hear people say not to be so critical of yourself, but I think an honest review of how you measure up to Jesus' words and actions is something we should be doing frequently and honestly with each other as well. I am reading "Crazy Love'' by Francis Chan again and have to say it is kicking my butt. He was talking about the parable of the good soil and it struck me as we talked about it this last Sunday that most people think that describes them, but I would challenge that. We seem to have this notion that everybody who shows up on Sunday is going to heaven. Afraid to burst your bubble, but that isn't what Jesus requires of us. It is a lot more than that. We are timid in challenging people to really look at their lives and make change. I would guess that more than a few of the people who show up on Sunday are probably better described as either the hard or rocky soil (surface level growth but not much depth) or the soil in the thorns (suffocated by life's worries, money, sins, activities, commitments and other things). Neither of these produce fruit. Neither do a lot of people who show up on Sunday mornings. I'm not trying to be judgmental, but really most of us have too many things competing for our attention to show much fruit. Take a minute and honestly answer these questions:
"Has your relationship with God actually changed the way you live? Do you see evidence of God's kingdom in your life? Or are you choking it out slowly by spending too much time, energy, money and thought on the things of this world? Are you satisfied being 'godly enough' to get yourself to heaven, or to look good in comparison to others?
(Ouch!) Are we choosing what is popular over what is right? Are we just trying to fit in at church and outside the church? Do we care more about what other people think of our actions than what God thinks of our hearts and lives? What some honest feedback? Ask those around what kind of fruit you are producing. We need to stop playing church and really start living it. Jesus wasn't afraid to offend those around him by saying what needed to be said. He didn't avoid the hard conversations that needed to take place. Really isn't that part of the love that we are called to have? Willing to love enough to help each other produce the fruit we should. Do a little evaluation, check with someone who knows you well, read the Word and see how you are really doing. Let's quit playing at this and start doing it.
A little drastic? Maybe, but Jesus doesn't want to be just a part of our lives, he wants control over our lives. Doing enough to just get by (what I would describe as being average and therefore probably a fair number of people) doesn't seem to measure up to taking up our cross and following Him. Reading His words can cut through the weak excuses we tend to make. What kind of soil are you?
"Has your relationship with God actually changed the way you live? Do you see evidence of God's kingdom in your life? Or are you choking it out slowly by spending too much time, energy, money and thought on the things of this world? Are you satisfied being 'godly enough' to get yourself to heaven, or to look good in comparison to others?
(Ouch!) Are we choosing what is popular over what is right? Are we just trying to fit in at church and outside the church? Do we care more about what other people think of our actions than what God thinks of our hearts and lives? What some honest feedback? Ask those around what kind of fruit you are producing. We need to stop playing church and really start living it. Jesus wasn't afraid to offend those around him by saying what needed to be said. He didn't avoid the hard conversations that needed to take place. Really isn't that part of the love that we are called to have? Willing to love enough to help each other produce the fruit we should. Do a little evaluation, check with someone who knows you well, read the Word and see how you are really doing. Let's quit playing at this and start doing it.
A little drastic? Maybe, but Jesus doesn't want to be just a part of our lives, he wants control over our lives. Doing enough to just get by (what I would describe as being average and therefore probably a fair number of people) doesn't seem to measure up to taking up our cross and following Him. Reading His words can cut through the weak excuses we tend to make. What kind of soil are you?
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Not what you expected
I had wanted to go by Jamba Juice last night on my way to AZero but didn't have time because I had to work late. So instead I went by this morning. I was looking forward to a banana berry smoothie (first since spilling it all over the entry way at work) and some oatmeal to start the day off right. Appears that all of the computers at 600 Jamba Juice stores were brought down by a computer upgrade last night. Problem one was that they could only accept cash this morning so that meant I couldn't use my gift card. No problem as I amazingly had cash with me. Next problem was that the oatmeal wouldn't be ready for another 10 minutes. Okay, I would just find something at work. Not as good, but still workable. So as I am in my car leaving I take a drink of my smoothie. Have to say it was probably the blandest drink I have ever had from there. No taste whatsoever. Don't know what they forgot to add but it was obviously what gives it the taste I enjoy. So I think this morning would qualify as not going at all like I expected.
When I got my first "real" job out of college I remember thinking how exciting it was. I would get to travel some, was making what seemed like an incredible amount of money, got to work with a lot of people my age, and enjoyed what I was doing. Within a couple of years, the travel wasn't as appealing, the money just didn't seem to go very far, half of those people annoyed me and the work was repetitious (and I am not big on predictable and routine). It wasn't what I expected.
Those are immaterial situations, but what about the more important things. What about when you pour yourself into people hoping to make a difference, but not seeing any results? What about when you feel called to do something in ministry, but things aren't going at all like what you expected? Wondering if sometimes our expectations are out of line with what God's expectations are. What if his expectations are for us to be consistent for 20 years with the same small group? We may have dreams of impacting lots of people, he may want us to pour into 2. Thinking about the prophets in the old testament. Doubt that they had expectations of preaching the same message for years without many or even any positive responses. The thing with expectations is that we can't control how others will respond. We have a part to play and must do that, but the rest is really out of our control. So things will often probably not be what you expected, but that is okay if we are doing the part God expects us to do. The rest of it is in His control which will always turn about better than what I could make happen on my own. What are you expecting? Is it what God is expecting?
When I got my first "real" job out of college I remember thinking how exciting it was. I would get to travel some, was making what seemed like an incredible amount of money, got to work with a lot of people my age, and enjoyed what I was doing. Within a couple of years, the travel wasn't as appealing, the money just didn't seem to go very far, half of those people annoyed me and the work was repetitious (and I am not big on predictable and routine). It wasn't what I expected.
Those are immaterial situations, but what about the more important things. What about when you pour yourself into people hoping to make a difference, but not seeing any results? What about when you feel called to do something in ministry, but things aren't going at all like what you expected? Wondering if sometimes our expectations are out of line with what God's expectations are. What if his expectations are for us to be consistent for 20 years with the same small group? We may have dreams of impacting lots of people, he may want us to pour into 2. Thinking about the prophets in the old testament. Doubt that they had expectations of preaching the same message for years without many or even any positive responses. The thing with expectations is that we can't control how others will respond. We have a part to play and must do that, but the rest is really out of our control. So things will often probably not be what you expected, but that is okay if we are doing the part God expects us to do. The rest of it is in His control which will always turn about better than what I could make happen on my own. What are you expecting? Is it what God is expecting?
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Questions - good or bad?
I've had several nights of talking in circles as my wife has gamely listened and tried to answer my questions. What I am thinking about isn't the point right now, but the questions it raises are. Are the questions being prompted by the Holy Spirit or my own insecurities? How do you know? Not yes or no type questions, but ones that seem to have no "right" answers at this point. I am beginning to think that the answers may not even be the point. I think the journey in getting there may be the point. What is the result of the questioning? Does it lead me to depend more on God? Or do I take things into my hands and make them work the way I want? As much as I love asking questions, at times I wish I could find the simple "yes" or "no" answers to these questions. I want to bypass the hard work of wrestling with issues and reach the end result, but I know that it is the in between work that shapes who I am. Doesn't make it an easier though. So my question to you is how do you view questions - good, bad or indifferent?
An additional thought here. I am learning again that perception shades how we see things. Imagine someone holding a gem in there hand. From the side I stand on, it may appear dark with deep shadows hidden in it. From where someone else stands, they may see the sun shining through it and reflecting an incredible prism of colors. Someone else may not be able to see it at all as the person holding the gem blocks there view. The gem (the actual truth) hasn't change any, but where we see it from determines what we see in the gem. I need to examine it from all of those different perspectives to really see more of the whole picture. As I was discussing one of my thoughts with a friend, we seemed to have different views on the subject. We both argued that we were right (Which by the way, I am still sure that my perspective is the "more right" answer. Not really, but I can also be stubborn. Another issue for another post. ), but really his different view helps shape a more complete picture for me. Sometimes I need to adjust where I am standing to understand it better. I know this, but somehow I still tend to forget that.
An additional thought here. I am learning again that perception shades how we see things. Imagine someone holding a gem in there hand. From the side I stand on, it may appear dark with deep shadows hidden in it. From where someone else stands, they may see the sun shining through it and reflecting an incredible prism of colors. Someone else may not be able to see it at all as the person holding the gem blocks there view. The gem (the actual truth) hasn't change any, but where we see it from determines what we see in the gem. I need to examine it from all of those different perspectives to really see more of the whole picture. As I was discussing one of my thoughts with a friend, we seemed to have different views on the subject. We both argued that we were right (Which by the way, I am still sure that my perspective is the "more right" answer. Not really, but I can also be stubborn. Another issue for another post. ), but really his different view helps shape a more complete picture for me. Sometimes I need to adjust where I am standing to understand it better. I know this, but somehow I still tend to forget that.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
How?
How? Not a bad question by itself, but it can be a dangerous one as well. Ever had a dream or an idea that you wanted to try or that you thought could change things for the better? What happens a lot of time in the church is that is when the "how?"s come out. How can we afford that? How will we have enough people? How will we do this or that? How...
Any new ideas are questioned to death and that teaches us to live safely within what we have always done. We don't venture into something new, we don't try to reach a different group, we are afraid to fail. No hidden secret, if you have read any of my blogs before, that I like change and to challenge the status quo. Not just for sake of change but to learn new ways to do things. I am not the most creative person or have a lot of original ideas but I want to support those on the outside fringes who have those new ideas. I may not totally understand the new idea or even think it will succeed all of the time, but I also don't want to be a dream killer. The how question to me is this - How do we create a culture where it is encouraged to dream and also okay to fail?
I love that this last Sunday we tried something new. We had a day of service for the surrounding community within a one mile radius of our church building. We had over 50 people respond with requests for help around their houses. Some trees cut, some leaves raked, some light bulbs changed - not huge things by themselves, but things that they needed help with and couldn't do by themselves. I wonder what would have happened if it had been asked "How can we cut the service short?", "How can we take care of people that don't go to church here?","How can we afford this?" Those questions may have been asked. I don't know, but I do know that we tried something new. Something that may have failed. That excites me because that means that a culture is being created to venture into the new. What dreams are around the corner? We have the choice to support them or try to "how?" them to death. I'm excited by the possibilities.
Any new ideas are questioned to death and that teaches us to live safely within what we have always done. We don't venture into something new, we don't try to reach a different group, we are afraid to fail. No hidden secret, if you have read any of my blogs before, that I like change and to challenge the status quo. Not just for sake of change but to learn new ways to do things. I am not the most creative person or have a lot of original ideas but I want to support those on the outside fringes who have those new ideas. I may not totally understand the new idea or even think it will succeed all of the time, but I also don't want to be a dream killer. The how question to me is this - How do we create a culture where it is encouraged to dream and also okay to fail?
I love that this last Sunday we tried something new. We had a day of service for the surrounding community within a one mile radius of our church building. We had over 50 people respond with requests for help around their houses. Some trees cut, some leaves raked, some light bulbs changed - not huge things by themselves, but things that they needed help with and couldn't do by themselves. I wonder what would have happened if it had been asked "How can we cut the service short?", "How can we take care of people that don't go to church here?","How can we afford this?" Those questions may have been asked. I don't know, but I do know that we tried something new. Something that may have failed. That excites me because that means that a culture is being created to venture into the new. What dreams are around the corner? We have the choice to support them or try to "how?" them to death. I'm excited by the possibilities.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Time and drifting
What are your plans for tomorrow, for next week, for a year from now? Seems that we spend a lot of time talking about things we are going to do. When we get organized and have more time, when we have less demands, when we have more money, when we... you get the picture. I live under this delusion that I have all of this time before me, but I may not have tomorrow. A person I know may of had a stroke this morning. I don't think that was in her plans. Tomorrow may find something thrown in my path that I hadn't planned as well. We have this moment. What are you doing with yours? Is it what you would choose if you knew you only had a week? Planning for the future isn't bad, but for me that means I put off doing the more important now because I think I can do it later. Spending time with the boys instead of doing some chores that won't really matter. Having a conversation with a friend instead of that extra few hours of sleep. Taking the time to help now instead of trying to make it work in my schedule later.
Thinking of what is important also reminded me of my "new year's resolution". Could I say that I have been chasing only after God this year? I don't think that has been my priority at times. When and where did my focus shift? If, on this one day that I have, I focus on pursuing Him isn't that what he is asking me to do? For me though I tend to start drifting where my focus is. When you are driving, if you start watching something that is what you start moving towards (aptly called drifting). I have drifted towards me. I become focused on what I want. It is hard to focus on God when you are being selfish. I can't control the amount of time that I have, but I can control what I choose to focus on. Are you where you want to be today or have you started drifting also? What better time than right now to do a little check on where your focus is? Don't know for sure where you are focused, ask those around you as we often can see it in others more than ourselves.
Thinking of what is important also reminded me of my "new year's resolution". Could I say that I have been chasing only after God this year? I don't think that has been my priority at times. When and where did my focus shift? If, on this one day that I have, I focus on pursuing Him isn't that what he is asking me to do? For me though I tend to start drifting where my focus is. When you are driving, if you start watching something that is what you start moving towards (aptly called drifting). I have drifted towards me. I become focused on what I want. It is hard to focus on God when you are being selfish. I can't control the amount of time that I have, but I can control what I choose to focus on. Are you where you want to be today or have you started drifting also? What better time than right now to do a little check on where your focus is? Don't know for sure where you are focused, ask those around you as we often can see it in others more than ourselves.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Back by no demand whatsoever - Friday afternoon ramblings
I am thinking that after a week of going in multiple directions that I must be able to only maintain short thoughts on Friday. Either that or I am A.D.D. on Fridays. Both may be true. Anyway, some random thoughts before the weekend.
- Ate at Pei Wei for lunch with my wife and had this thought - What if we lived our lives based on the fortunes out of the fortune cookies? That could make for some interesting conversations to say the least. (Actually a couple of the ones today didn't make any sense so I am not sure how that would work.)
- Feeling the urge to rock the boat some more. Must be why I was never big on fishing. Don't really like the calm waters for very long before my mind starts to wander.
- Love watching how God is moving through some of my friends lives. That never gets old. Have to say I like to see Him use them more than when He rocks my world sometimes. Both are good, but I can appreciate it more by observing rather than being in the middle of it.
- I would like to spend a week observing how the following ministers lead in their day to day lives - Perry Noble, Matt Chandler and Steven Furtick.
- Love being able to hang out with my wife at night and talk. Don't know how couples survive when they don't talk about their lives with each other.
- Was thinking about what an eclectic bunch my close friends are. Personality-wise we vary in just about every way imaginable, but if you put all 8 or 9 of us in the same room together it would be a lot of fun. Maybe even a little out of control as I think we feed off each other, but it is a group who has a passion for being like Jesus. Wonder if that is what the apostles were like when they were together?
- If I ever won the lottery, the above would happen. I would love to have our close friends and family all together for a week in a lodge in Colorado. It would be insane, definitely loud, but incredibly fun and tons of awesome conversations. (And I would get to go skiing or snowboarding - that is going to happen this next year. I want to be on the slopes so bad.)
Looking forward to the weekend. Some family is coming in to celebrate Jacob's birthday since the snow prevented it last weekend. Get to hang out with some of our awesome friends and have some fun. And we get the chance to serve and love some of our community on Sunday. I love the weekends!
Finished
Do you ever have that desire to just be where you are loved? Things aren't necessarily bad, there isn't a crisis of faith, no drama, but you just want to be in that place where you know that you are accepted for just being you. Received a note from a friend who is serving half way across the world that said "I'm finished". He hasn't quit, he hasn't given up, he still is serving, but his heart is done. He is ready to be around those who love him. I could relate to that and I don't live half a globe away from my close friends. There are times in my life where I just want to be. I want to know that I am loved. I think most of us want that at some level. That is what we the church are suppose to be. That place where we are loved because. Because we are His. No strings, no qualifications, just loved. I need to learn to give that love freely. Love just because. We run through life so quickly most of the time we forget to just love. I mean really stop and love. Love may be a hug, it may be taking time from our busyness to really talk to someone, it may be verbally saying that we love them, it may be shown in a lot of different ways, but the one thing it has to be is intentional. If we love intentionally, don't you think that would be the church we are called to be? Thanks Jake for putting into words what I so often feel in my heart. Know that we are waiting here to give those hugs you are missing.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
By the numbers
I noticed when I wrote my blog this morning that it was number 148 (so this would be 149) and that kind of blew me away. I started blogging back on September 2nd last year so I've been doing this writing thing for exactly 7 months today. So here are some random numbers looking back over that 7 months:
- By far the most post have been about relationships/friendships/community coming in around 35. A close second would be leadership/dreaming at 25 posts. (Probably those are included in several of the others as well, but just counted the ones that were specifically about those topics.)
- Have written about 11 books that I was reading during that time along with quite a few quotes from various blogs
- Have 23 blogs set up on my google reader (8 which are friends of mine) that often get quoted or at least prompt many of my thoughts written on here
- I've written 14 random, bullet point posts (usually on a Friday for some reason)
- My shortest post consisted of 42 words (aptly titled "Shortest post ever")
- I have received 94 comments (most coming in the first several months - come on you guys are slacking off these days or have quit reading)
- The post "One Word" received the most comments with 5
- Some of my favorite words sprinkled throughout these posts include - transparency, God-sized dreams, community, "I have an idea", and many others
Really it is amazing looking back and reading through the things that have happened in that short time and the way people have impacted my life. I am surrounded by some incredible people specifically my wife, our "refrigerator friends", and two guys who I try to live as openly as I can in a glass house. The biggest thing for me though is I hope those who read this can catch glimpses of God weaved throughout all of it.
It is a choice
One of my favorite things to say, which my wife finds annoying at times, is that everything is a choice. Granted I may push it to the extreme at times just to get a reaction (I've been known to do that type of thing occasionally), but I do think there is a lot of truth in the statement. As I was coming into work this morning, I kept having the thought "it is my choice". I may not get to choose the circumstances, but how I respond to them is my choice. Things may not go the way I would like, but I choose what I do with that. If I need to change part of my personality, that is choice I have. We make lots of decisions every day. Those are choices that are leading us somewhere. Those choices add up to the direction my life is heading. If I choose to look at the negative, complain about things, find fault with people, those are all choices that are leading somewhere with who I am. I don't think I look enough at where those are leading. If someone asked me if I wanted to be a depressed, critical and bitter person, I don't think that would be a hard choice to make - NO! But the reality is we don't wake up at the destination, but it is the choices along the way that determine where we are heading. So for today, I get the chance to choose how I respond, how I love, how I forgive, how I see the good in the circumstances. A lot of things are out of my control, but I always have a choice in how I live in those situations.
So those are my thoughts this morning driving into work. On my way in I stopped by Jamba Juice (probably my favorite breakfast is a smoothie from there along with either their oatmeal or yogurt) so the morning was off to a good start. Here is where God's sense of humor comes into play. To get into our floor you have to swipe a electronic pass to unlock the doors. As I go to do this, the lid on my smoothie pops off sending my power (also know as a large) banana berry (yep, a very dark purple) smoothie splattering all over the entry way and staining the carpet. I had lost control of the circumstances, but I had a choice how to respond. I just had to laugh. Really? I have to put into practice so soon what I had just decided. Can't I have a little time to bask in my spiritual maturity (it happens so rarely that I like to enjoy those moments)? Most likely you will face a lot of decisions today as well. Some may be tough decisions that have significant impact, others may not be as big, but either way you get to choose what direction you will go. Enjoy your day of choices!
So those are my thoughts this morning driving into work. On my way in I stopped by Jamba Juice (probably my favorite breakfast is a smoothie from there along with either their oatmeal or yogurt) so the morning was off to a good start. Here is where God's sense of humor comes into play. To get into our floor you have to swipe a electronic pass to unlock the doors. As I go to do this, the lid on my smoothie pops off sending my power (also know as a large) banana berry (yep, a very dark purple) smoothie splattering all over the entry way and staining the carpet. I had lost control of the circumstances, but I had a choice how to respond. I just had to laugh. Really? I have to put into practice so soon what I had just decided. Can't I have a little time to bask in my spiritual maturity (it happens so rarely that I like to enjoy those moments)? Most likely you will face a lot of decisions today as well. Some may be tough decisions that have significant impact, others may not be as big, but either way you get to choose what direction you will go. Enjoy your day of choices!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Caught a glimpse
I have had several realizations (or also known as "A Ha" moments) this week which I am trying to get my hands around. (WARNING - that is code for I am now going to ramble through them on here as I try to make sense of them). The first was that I tend to back away from the difficult. Not a revolutionary thought I know, but I saw it play out so obviously this week. I was part of a conversation where there was an obvious answer that we all knew was the right answer, but I didn't want to say it. I wanted to protect and say what the other person wanted to hear, but I remained quiet because I couldn't do the difficult and say what needed to be said. I saw someone much bolder and wiser take the lead where I didn't. It was difficult and I didn't take the stand soon enough. How can I lead when I can't take the required action when it needs to be done?
The other is maybe even more difficult for me. I had the chance to catch a glimpse of who someone can be and realized I may be holding them back from that. Not intentionally, and they may even argue with me about the above statement (actually I know they would), but I can't shake the feeling that by my demands on that friendship I am limiting them from some great things. If love is is doing what is best for that person, then that may mean that I need to step back from that relationship. I realized how selfish I am in my relationships. It is about what I can get out of them, when it should be how can I serve them. Serving them may mean doing things that limits my friendship with them so that they can pursue the greater. Weird for me to see that played out in front of me.
So there are two of my favorite topics - relationships and leadership. Now the question is what do I do with it? Can I sacrifice my desires, wants and comfort for what is best for others? Isn't that what Jesus called us to do? Deny ourselves and strive to be more like Him? How do you learn, and more importantly put into practice, not being selfish? I am realizing each day how little I really know. Any words of wisdom or thoughts to add to the mix?
The other is maybe even more difficult for me. I had the chance to catch a glimpse of who someone can be and realized I may be holding them back from that. Not intentionally, and they may even argue with me about the above statement (actually I know they would), but I can't shake the feeling that by my demands on that friendship I am limiting them from some great things. If love is is doing what is best for that person, then that may mean that I need to step back from that relationship. I realized how selfish I am in my relationships. It is about what I can get out of them, when it should be how can I serve them. Serving them may mean doing things that limits my friendship with them so that they can pursue the greater. Weird for me to see that played out in front of me.
So there are two of my favorite topics - relationships and leadership. Now the question is what do I do with it? Can I sacrifice my desires, wants and comfort for what is best for others? Isn't that what Jesus called us to do? Deny ourselves and strive to be more like Him? How do you learn, and more importantly put into practice, not being selfish? I am realizing each day how little I really know. Any words of wisdom or thoughts to add to the mix?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)