Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Far from perfect
At times I feel like I am surrounded by perfect people. People who have their lives together. Friends who are dealing with the big picture while I am stuck on the insignificant. Their strengths pointing out my shortcomings. It is tough doing life with those friends, but at the same time it moves me closer to where I want to be. If you desire something, then you learn about it, you benefit from being in the middle of it, seeing it lived out in front of you gives you a tangible example, something more than just a theory. The spotlight that it shines on my areas of weakness helps me identify what I still need to work on. The areas where I still need to grow. It can be a painful process. I want to quit at times. Settle for something less, but at the same time it draws me closer to those friends. I have a desire to have holiness and humility define my life so I seek out those who live that out. They are farther down the path than me and I often feel I slow them down as they wait on me to catch up. The slow kid in the group who is the last to catch on. The fat kid (insert your own politically correct description here if you like) who is picked last for the game. That is when it is the toughest. Knowing I will probably never get it quite right but still fighting through to move farther along than where I am at. They keep me moving forward even when they might not be aware that I am watching them for inspiration. Would they see themselves as being close to perfect? No, but that's okay because they need to be wrong occasionally. I miss more often than not in most things in life, but I do often get it right in who I choose to surround myself with. While it is tough to be surrounded by my friends when I look at how far I still have to go, it is also encouraging to see how far I've come largely in part because of their influence. Proverbs 13:20 says "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm." I want to keep choosing the wise, even though it would be easier to hang out with the fools. Do the people you surround yourself with move you forward or hold you back? Rarely do we stay in neutral, we are either growing or dying.
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There is always someone else that is further along. There's this lady that I work with who is an awsome nurse. I think as far as knowledge goes she would be an awsome Mentor. The problem Is that she's not too humble about it. And she has this expectation that everyone should be where she is, and so it makes it difficult to ask her questions. She has a tendency to make you feel stupid.
That makes it kind of sad because I think that's how community is supposed to work. The lower one helped up by the higher one. And I think we're all one or the other depending on circumstances etc.
Being in real community takes a real humiliy I think. It takes a real humility to be able to give well and make those around you better. But it takes a real humility to be able to receive help as well.
As always. Thanks for these thoughts. It's helpful for me to have a place to just meditate on and work through stuff.
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