Unplugged

Do you ever feel overwhelmed with all of the extra noise in life? For the most part I like to be busy and like having lots of distractions around. Part of my short attention span I guess. Start things, move on, live in the chaos. But I also know the value of being removed from it all and being able to slow down enough to hear the things that the chaos and extra noise tends to drown out. That is one of the extra benefits for me of going to conference with our high school students. I will be unplugged for a week - no computer, no TV, and I plan on keeping the phone tucked away for the most part. A chance to have some conversations that are uninterrupted by all of the extra noise. A chance for some quiet (well as much as you can have surrounded by 1,000 high school students) and a chance to recharge. So if you read my blog, it will be silent next week. No posts, no thoughts, not even going to schedule posts for when I'm gone. Consider it my gift to you of a little less noise in your life. Take a break from a little bit of the extra noise and see if there are some things you need to be hearing. Enjoy your week away and we will see if I have any readers left when I get back.

The unofficial expectations

Read a post on Tim Steven's blog that pointed out how unrealistic our expectations as leaders in the church can be. Here is the list of some of the unofficial expectations of what a "real" Christian should be doing. We may not say these all of the time, but I think this may be the perception that is often communicated.

1. Attend church service weekly.
2. Volunteer during another service.
3. Attend bible study or Sunday school or midweek service (sometimes all three are offered)
4. Serve in a ministry that helps the poor and needy.
5. If you are a leader (and we know who you are), then we'll have a few more meetings to attend, contacts to make, events to organize and teams to rally.
6. Attend periodic special events hosted by the church.
7. Be a great husband or wife and invest time in your marriage.
8. Oh, and make sure you are involved in men's' or women's' ministry.
9. Get in a small group and meet regularly.
10. If you are a man, you must be in a men's' small group for accountability. Otherwise we know you look at porn.
11. If you are married, you probably should also be in a couple group if you care about your spouse.
12. Read your bible every day. Anything less than 30 minutes is probably not enough.
13. Be a good citizen. Vote and get involved in your community.
14. Give ten percent of every penny that you make. And give to the special offerings. And give to the kids going on the missions trip. And give to the building fund.
15. Go on a missions trip. Been on a local trip? Overseas is your next step.
16. Invest in relationships in your neighborhood and at your workplace.
17. Invite people to church. Every week. The purpose of that, of course, is so you can get them to church so they can do #1 through #16 above.

Worn out from that? Oh, well don't forget about all of the other expectations that everyone else in your life also has. Your friends, work, family, sports your kids are involved in, school activities, etc. The things above aren't necessarily bad, but the key is to figure out how we can help people bring their walk with Jesus into their lives. We don't need more things to do or activities to feel guilty about, we need to focus on who we are becoming. The hard part about that, and why we have list like the ones above, is because that is hard to measure. A relationship with Jesus will show in the fruit we bear, but sometimes that fruit may take a while to produce. More activities aren't the results of bearing fruit, a life centered around Jesus is where we should be aiming. What is your measuring stick?

What are you willing to sacrifice?

Sacrifice is a word we don't use much. Kind of goes against the grain of "you can have it all". To me sacrifice means to willingly give up something that I value for someone else. For some people that may be money. Can I give up my dream house, my plans to have a comfortable retirement, my vacation, my Starbucks coffee so that I can give that money somewhere else. For others it may be time. Will I give up my hobby, the sport I really enjoy playing, hanging out with friends so that I can use that times somewhere else? For me it is my preferences that are tough to sacrifice. I want things the way I like them. A friendship to be on my terms, a schedule that works conveniently for me, a church service that appeals to my style. See the tough part of sacrifice is that it requires us to step outside of what we want. Giving up something that doesn't matter to you isn't really a sacrifice. It may still be good to give it, but it isn't a sacrifice. Really sacrifice boils down to being selfless. Can we lay down what we want for someone else? Can I place someone else's desires ahead of my own? The sacrifice doesn't depend on the other person's needs or wants, it is about whether I choose to be selfless or selfish and really isn't that what it all comes down to anyways.

For me, it means today that I choose to give up my preferences in some relationships. Will it be tough? Yeah, hence the name sacrifice, but it is still comes down to a choice of whether I want it my way or if I am willing to give what someone else wants. What are you willing to sacrifice?

One of those days

Ever have one of those days? You know, the one where the minute you walk in the door it is one crisis after another and everyone needs a piece of your time, usually the same piece of time and their need is the most urgent. Yep, that has been my day - total chaos. In the midst of all of the craziness, I managed to go to lunch with a guy that I have been wanting to get to know better. We had rescheduled multiple times for one reason or another and had finally landed on today to get together. It was a nice break from the insanity at work and very refreshing for me.

Where is this story going (yes, there is a point and it isn't to complain about my day)? As I've had a few minutes to stop and reflect, today is a snapshot of how my life feels a lot of times. Things come at a frantic pace, sometimes without the chance to even catch our breath. We move from one challenge to the next, but in the middle of the chaos of life we get that day, week, or month of smooth sailing. That chance to slow down and enjoy life, but we've got to take that opportunity. Seasons of rest give us the chance to refresh for the next things coming down the road. Good reminder for me today not to waste those opportunities. Are you slowing down enough to enjoy things when you get the chance?

Fight or flight?

If you haven't experienced it, odds are you will. If things are going smoothly right now, you will probably have some bumps in the road at some point. It comes down to a choice in how you respond. Do you fight for it or do you take flight? Is it worth fighting for or do you just walk away? I see so many things that are treated as disposable - a job where they expect you to work hard, quit and find something easier; a relationship where there are problems or tension, walk away and blame the other person; a church that doesn't meet your needs, jump to another where they do things your way; a team that doesn't agree with your plan, quit and find those who will side with you. The list is long. Probably too long. Maybe sometimes you even need to walk away, but the scary thing is that seems to be the first thought. I want the easy. I want things my way. I want... and if I don't get it, then I quit. Sounds a lot like grade school doesn't it? But aren't the good things worth fighting for? Maybe it means we don't get what we want. Maybe we take the longer view. Maybe we need to stay and be the catalyst for change. The thing is it comes down to that one choice. Are you going to stay and do everything you possibly can or do you just simply walk away when things don't go your way?

I am so glad that I have people around me who are willing to fight. Odds are they could have walked away many times because often I am that bump in the road. I was today, but a friend chose to stay and fight through it. He could have walked and pointed the finger and would have been right, but he chose to take the longer view. He chose not to walk away. Odds are you will have a choice to make in the near future. Will you choose to fight for the things you believe in or simply dispose of it and move on to the next thing?

Right or easy?

Why is doing the right thing, not always the easiest thing? Maybe because doing the right thing means I have to step outside of my own selfishness. It is easy for me to be selfish, but rarely is that the right thing. (Actually I can't think of any time that is the right thing, but there may be some circumstances where they are the same.) Maybe it is because we remember the things that are hard. When we have it come easy, we don't always learn. I often want the simplest path, but rarely does it work that way. So today I took a step to do the right thing. Easy? No. Actually it is uncomfortable, but it is still the right thing. Is there something you need to do that may not be easy, but is the right thing? Take that step now. Don't wait until it is convenient (it never will be), don't wait for a better time (there isn't one), don't wait until you have it all figured out (you probably won't), just do what right now you know is right. Hope you struggle with this today like I am.

Lessons from a chick flick

Watching "27 Dresses" last night with my wife, there was a scene in the movie that struck me. (Yeah, two chick flicks in one day. Not your typical father's day, but what more would you expect?) There is a point in the movie when the newspaper writer ask her why she is keeping all of these ugly bridesmaid dresses that she will never wear again and are just taking up valuable closet space. For her they were memories that she wanted to keep, but I got thinking about what things from my past am I hanging onto that I will never wear again. What hurts from my past, do I hang onto in my closet? What breaks of trust by people I trusted, do I keep around in my closet? What memories of friendship that are no more, do I keep around in hopes that I will get the chance to wear them again? Why do I hang on to these things that I don't even want anymore? My time is valuable (kind of like closet space in New York apparently) so why do I fill it with things that I don't need anymore? Is holding on to things from the past keeping me from the more important things I could be using my closet for? I need to let go of some of these things. What needs to be cleaned out of your closet?

What to do?

Was that the right thing to do? Should I give it one more try? How do I make a bigger impact? Do I move forward or step back? These are the questions constantly running through my mind. I live in the in-between or the tension in the middle. Never knowing for sure that the course that I am taking is the right one. I push between what I want and what is best. (Unfortunately they aren't always the same thing.) What I was convinced of last week, I now wonder if that was the right thing to do? Can I take back my request from God and ask for the best two out of three and hope I get what I want this time? Lots of questions, not many solid answers. I keep trying, moving forward, doing the best that I can, but wondering if I am missing the big picture. Am I settling? Accepting mediocrity, when God has excellence in mind? Do I need to let go of some things, so that I can move on to some better things? Sometimes I get tired on that tension, but it is one of the things that keeps bringing me back to God. Where do you live in the tension? How do you respond to it?

Is that all you've got?

Ever make an effort to do something for someone, or give them a note to say how much you appreciate them, or give them a gift and get one of those looks that says "that all?" Ever give less than your best in serving, or spend more on yourself than you give to God, or go about it half-hearted in trying to please God. Here is the thing that I was reminded of today. God has given us everything, but he is absolutely thrilled when we give back to Him. He doesn't say that it isn't enough, He doesn't tell us we need to make it better, He takes our small efforts and is thrilled. Even though it is all His to begin with, he loves us for trying to give back to Him. Wonder how different things would look if we spent more time trying to give back to God than saying "that's it?"

Randomness is good, right?

Here are some random thoughts and observations from my view of the world. Some personal, some that I find amusing and some questions that I wonder about. So basically my blog as usual, only in bullet point format.

• Check out my brother-in-law's latest blog (see the link on the side for In The Thin Places). He asks a good question for us to reflect on (he usually does) and then check out my sister-in-law's (Andrea) response in the comments. Take a moment to read her comment and let the last paragraph soak in. Amazing picture of God's love for us.


• One of those "Really?" moments this morning as I pulled into Quiktrip (best convenient store/gas station in the country) to get my 44 ounces of caffeine to get going this morning. Parked in the car next to me was a lady that was rather large eating an ice cream bar for her breakfast. When I came back out she was eating a Snickers bar. I thought my breakfast was lacking in substance. Sounds like the ideal breakfast in my two youngest boys' minds.


• Been blown away by a friend that has been praying for me recently. One day a week I get an e-mail that says he is praying for me and ask what he can pray for. The next week he follows up on anything that I have mentioned and again asks what he can pray about. It is so refreshing to know that someone is consistently praying for me. Not just a cursory thought when they think of it, but setting aside time consistently to do it.


• Okay. Don't know what some people are thinking. Driving to work one morning, I saw a pretty sweet Porsche convertible (it was yellow, not my ideal color choice, but still...) in my mirror. When it passed me, I had to do a double take. The vanity plate read - BONER. Yep, don't think that would be my first choice (probably not even in my top 100) of names for a vanity plate. Still trying to figure out if there could be some other meaning.


• Ever have friends that are genuinely interested in what is going on in your life? The ones who ask specific questions about the things going on with you, they look for you in a crowd so that they can come and talk to you even if it just briefly, that when you are with them you have their full attention. They have the gift of making you feel special because it is obvious they care about you. Others seem to be indifferent. You get a general "How are you doing?". You feel like they are moving on to their next conversation even before you have finished talking. Makes me think, why even bother? We all know each type of person. For me the question is which one am I? Am I truly making the people in my life a priority or just a stopover until the next person comes along?


• Middle school students and youth ministers have strange senses of humor. Drinking two raw eggs, pulling duct tape off hairy arms, and belly-flopping on a table produce huge amounts of laughter. Another confirmation of why I don't work with that age. Still trying to figure out how I have been good friends with 5 youth ministers.


• Feeling the pressure of meeting a deadline by August 1st. Not a work deadline, but one I agreed to with my brother-in-law to have 4 chapters written for a book I've talked about writing. Have some ideas, but the discipline to actually put those down has been lacking. Still not sure that a book is my thing, but the clock is ticking.


• Have enjoyed the chance to get to know some new people recently. Like to hear the things that they are passionate about and learn about who they are. Made me feel old though when I realized one of them of them was born after I graduated from high school. That sucks!


• Not sure what to do in one of my friendships. Wonder if it was one of those "for a season" type of friendship and if it is now time for me to move on. So I made one of those deals with God that if I heard from that friend today that I would continue to pour my time and energy into the friendship, otherwise, I would take that as a sign to move on. Wondering how this going to go.


• Final random thought. Saw a car with two "baby on board" decals in their back window. Does this really cause people to drive more carefully around this car? (If so, why don't we all have similar decals?) Also, there was about a 60 year old guy driving.

What are your random thoughts for today? Profound or just interesting to you, all thoughts are welcome here.

Okay

Is okay enough? I wonder if sometimes we don't settle for the okay. An okay marriage, an okay job, okay friendships, an okay relationship with God. Heard the Matthew West song "The Motions" yesterday and I love the chorus. It says:

I don't wanna go through the motions

I don't wanna go one more day

without Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,

"What if I had given everything,

instead of going through the motions?"

Big difference between going through the motions and living life with an all consuming passion. Will my marriage look any different if I am giving everything? Will my life look different if I have an all consuming passion to live like Jesus? Changing the routine may be hard. It may be painful as we learn to live beyond the okay of life. But living without the regret of not having given my all sounds pretty good. Is okay good enough?

A simple question

Spent some time reading through a bunch of comments on Anne Jackson's blog this morning. Some great thoughts and some I didn't agree with. That's okay though. She asked a simple question that I feel needs to be asked. What do you feel you can't say in church? So let me hear your real thoughts. If you could honestly say what was on your mind, what would it be? Here are a couple of mine to get the ball rolling.

• Seriously, quit playing the game. I don't want to see another fake smile today. If you can't be real here, please find somewhere else that you can.
• I am not responsible for fixing your kid. I will love them, but you have got to do the hard work as well.
• I don't like singing hymns. They are boring and most of the wording seems strange to me.
• If a sermon is boring or sucks, can we just be honest about it and say so. Not everyone who preaches is that interesting to me. And honestly what the Greek translation says doesn't really help me all that much most of the time.

What would you say if the filter was removed? Also why isn't this the norm anyway?

What role do you play?

What are you suppose to do? I find myself watching what others are doing and thinking how cool it would be to do those things. I see the way certain people live their lives in amazing ways and I wish that I could be like them. Other people I see and think how glad that I am not them. The thing is that I am not those people. When I compare myself to others, whether for good or bad, I am missing what it is that I am suppose to be doing. I can't accomplish the things I am uniquely qualified for if I spend all of my time comparing myself to others. It is good to learn from others. It is good to see how we can live this life better. BUT, if that is all that I do then I miss out on living the life that I am suppose to be living. How has your personality, your interest, your strengths, your weaknesses, your history uniquely shaped you to accomplish something? We all have roles to play, what is your role?

You matter! You have a purpose. Read the following on Seth Godin's blog today and found it challenging and encouraging. Hope your day is spent on the things that matter.

When you love the work you do and the people you do it with, you matter.
When you are so gracious and generous and aware that you think of other people before yourself, you matter.
When you leave the world a better place than you found it, you matter.
When you continue to raise the bar on what you do and how you do it, you matter.
When you teach and forgive and teach more before you rush to judge and demean, you matter.
When you touch the people in your life through your actions (and your words), you matter.
When kids grow up wanting to be you, you matter.
When you see the world as it is, but insist on making it more like it could be, you matter.
When you inspire a Nobel prize winner or a slum dweller, you matter.
When the room brightens when you walk in, you matter.
And when the legacy you leave behind lasts for hours, days or a lifetime, you matter.

What is it the right time for?

Should I say something or should I just shut up? How can I go from feeling like Eeyore at one moment to laughing and enjoying life to the fullest the next? Have you heard there is a certain way you should always act? I was reading Ecclesiastes 3 this morning and it says there is a right time for everything. "A right time to cry and another to laugh, a right time to embrace and another to part, a right time to hold on and another to let go, a right time to rip out and another to mend, a right time to shut up and another to speak up, a right time to love and another to hate." That is reassuring to me. Those things are okay even when they are to the extreme. I just need to be listening to God to know what it is the right time for. The right time might depend on the season of life you are in, where you are at, who you are around, many different variables, but the question is so what is it the right time for you to be doing?

In that same chapter it also say "God's done it and that's it. That's so we'll quit asking questions and simply worship in holy fear." Sounds like I need to stop asking "Why?" and start worshipping more.

Have an awesome Friday and know it is the right time for something right now!

What is your voice?

Revisiting a thought here that I know that I have talked about before. (Actually most of my posts probably fall into 4 or 5 categories so it shouldn't be too big of surprise that I am coming back to this thought.) I was reading early this week one of Steven Furtick's posts that talked about finding your voice. He asked the following questions that I have been thinking about since then:

• What are you the voice for?
• What comes through loud and clear in the way you live?

Basically summed up in the question - what does you whole life shout? What am I so passionate about the my identity and message are the same thing? Trying to evaluate what I talk about and what my life revolves around, I've decided my voice is probably about relationships (or the current buzzword - community) centered around Christ. That is the filter of how I see things, what I talk about, where I invest my time and energy, that is what I hope my life shouts. People living out life together while trying to follow the example of Jesus. So what are you the voice for? Does how you live match the focus of your voice?

Moving on

Moving on. That's not always easy for me. Seems weird because I am actually one of those people who like change. Usually routines and me don't coexist very well. I get bored and am ready to move on to the next thing. But moving on from a relationship, that's tough. Circumstances change, people go different directions, interest and stages of life change - I get all of that, but I don't like it. Relationships play a huge role in my life (most people's probably) and I love adding new ones to the mix, but it is hard to move on from ones that I've had. When you've grown close to someone and then take a step back away from that it is kind of like ripping a band-aid off in my opinion. You know that no matter how you do it (take it slow and try to be gentle or just rip it off quickly) that there is going to be some pain involved. I know that I've reached that point with some of my relationships right now. That there is going to be some changes taking place. Is there a good way to move on? Kind of like with the band-aid, I know that it will heal, but it doesn't change the fact that I will have to wait for that to happen.

Called out

Have you ever been called out on something? Had someone tell you it was time to step up and quit being a baby? If you played sports, then you probably have. Had a job for awhile, then maybe it has been pointed out to you some areas that you may need to improve in. As a christian, well... probably not. We seem to be okay with people just coming and listening to the same things over and over without requiring any change in their lives. We justify it by saying that is just the way they are. We don't have it all together ourselves, so how can we challenge someone else to step up? I was reading Hebrews 5 this morning and I saw quite a different example (which by the way Lane nailed last Wednesday night at AZero). Here is how the Message version reads "I have a lot more to say about this, but it is hard to get it across to you since you've picked up this bad habit of not listening. By this time you ought to be teachers yourselves, yet here I find you needing someone to sit down with you and go over the basics of God again, starting from square one..." We nod our head and think "yeah the preacher ought to confront those people". Time to step up and really listen. We need to move beyond the place where we started. Two questions that maybe we need to ask - Am I one of those people who need to be confronted? Is there someone I need to confront? Shouldn't we be about helping people become more mature in their faith and not just repeating the same things over and over? At some point we have to step up to the challenge.

Which is it?

Which is it? Are you part of a community or part of the audience? Read a link from my brother-in-law's blog that talks about the difference between a community and an audience from a business perspective, but it got me thinking about it from a relational view. I think we confuse the two a lot of the times. Think about these two different ways to approach a friendship. We respond to an invitation to join a friend in doing something, we read a blog to see what they are thinking, we talk to them when we run into them at church and maybe we talk with other people about how great a friendship we have with that person. The flip side is we call to see how they are doing, we invite them to do something with us, we make it a point to talk to them and listen to what is going on in their lives, we find ways to invest in them. One is passive as we wait for it to come to us, the other takes action on our part. One can be selfish at times, the other is usually selfless. Are we an audience to the people around us or are we part of a community? One requires very little of us - little time, little energy, little emotional investment as we wait as part of the audience. The other will take intentional effort, can be hard, will involve us putting others in front of ourselves. An audience is easy; a community requires effort, but which would you rather be a part of? The audience leaves once the show is over. A community gathers around you. So what are choosing to be in the lives of your friends - part of the audience or part of their community? It is a choice you make each day.

Staying on your toes

When is the last time someone encouraged you? How about the last time you encouraged someone? Sometimes we need the encouragement of a cheerleader. Someone cheering us on, telling us that we can do it. Other times we need the encouragement of someone who has come through on the other side of the circumstances we are going through. They've made it through and can encourage us to hold on and give us hope that we will make it through. Sometimes we need someone to see the good things in us that we can't see at the moment. Sometimes we need the encouragement to get up and keep trying. Sometimes we need a different type of encouragement. A challenge to step up and do something more. A confrontation to help us move closer to what God has planned for us. For me, these are all part of what it means for us to encourage one another. Hebrews 3:13 instructs us to encourage one another daily so that we won't be hardened by sin's deceitfulness or as it states in the Message "keep each other on your toes so sin doesn't slow down your reflexes." Who have you encouraged today? Who are you helping keep on their toes?

Passion

A friend of mine sent me some of his thoughts from his journaling about the adoption process that he and his wife are going through. One of the things that I noticed and keep coming back to is the passion he displays for their daughter that they are in the process of adopting. The longing for a child that they have never met. The reoccurring dreams about a little girl that they have yet to hold. The desire and passion to bring her into their family. The love that is so overwhelming at times that he can't think about anything else as they work through the slow process of bringing her home.

The thing I keep thinking is shouldn't this be the type of passion that I have for people who are separated from Jesus? We talk about loving others in some theoretical way, but this is the type of love that I can see and think we are suppose to have. A love so intense for people we don't even know. A desire to bring them into our lives and care for them. We are rarely willing to show that kind of love for those who we already know let alone those that we don't even know their names. What would our churches look like if we had such a love for people that it invaded our dreams and constantly occupied our thoughts? Isn't this the type of love that God has for us? Even when we don't know Him, He is longing to be with us. If we are to reflect Jesus, then shouldn't this be one of the characteristics we have?

Whatever, whenever

Whatever, whenever. Is that my mindset in serving others? What kind of impact would that type of attitude have on our community? Wouldn't that be an awesome way for people to describe the church? I am afraid that if I look honestly at where I am currently at that it would be more likely - whatever as long as it doesn't get me too far outside of my comfort zone or cause me to sacrifice too much of my time, energy or money; when it is convenient or would benefit me in some way. Yeah, that isn't nearly as catchy nor is it really much different than the attitude of most people. My life should reflect that is has been turned upside down by my relationship with Jesus. What seems radical or different than most is what should be the norm for me. We talk a lot about serving others, but shouldn't it be more than just talk? Up for a challenge this week? I am going to try to adopt that mindset in serving others for this week - whatever, whenever. Anyone else game for a different type of one week challenge?

Learning 101

What are you suppose to be learning right now? My guess is that something probably jumped to your mind pretty quickly. The second reaction for me is usually something along the lines of "Yeah, but I don't want to learn that right now." (The "yeah, but..." rarely seems to be a good idea for me.) So I keep it to myself. If I don't tell someone, then I have no accountability in following through with it. I spend time and energy trying to find ways around it. It is like trying to stand against the ocean waves. I keep waiting for it stop or change. Instead of enjoying the waves and learning to surf, I fight the idea and try to find the shortcut. So what is it that you need to be doing right now? What is that next right step? Who do you need to tell that you are going surfing today? Don't wait for the waves to stop (they won't), embrace it and enjoy life to its fullest today. Seriously, don't wait for a convenient time, tell someone now what you need help learning. What are you waiting for? Make the phone call, send the text, send an e-mail, have that conversation at lunch, let's just quit trying to fight waves on our own.

Moving day

Today is the day that I switched offices at work. I've only been in my other office for about 10 months so I haven't accumulated that much stuff, but I still managed to find several things that I needed to get rid of during the process. Things I thought were important at some point, but now realize are probably just clutter at best or more likely junk. I think it is probably healthy if sometimes we look through the stuff we accumulate in life as well. Not the material things necessarily (even though that is probably good to occasionally sort through as well), but the hurts we acquire and keep around, the grudges we don't really want to let go of, the emotional baggage we keep moving from place to place with us. I have noticed in my life that when I try to hang on to those things, there really isn't much room for the better things. Holding on to the unimportant tends to limit the good things. What are you holding on to that may be time to throw away? We need to have a moving day every so often to remind us of the junk we are accumulating. Consider today your moving day as well. Enjoy the feeling of a new room with lots of possibilities in front of you without all of that extra clutter.

What matters in community?

What matters most to you in community? I talk a lot about community on here, but am curious what you think is the key to having a community that matters. Can you boil it down to 2 or 3 things that are essential for community to happen for you? When you look at those closest to you that you go through life with, what characteristics define the core of those relationships? Is it authenticity? Is it encouragement? Is it time spent together? What is it that makes those people the ones you turn to and trust above the other people that you cross paths with? Let me hear what matters to you.

Billboard statement

Driving in this morning I noticed the following statement on a church billboard - "Live simply. Love deeply. Pursue God." Usually I'm not a big fan of the sayings that get put up on church billboards. They often come across as cheesy and outdated. (Only outdone by the overabundance of bad bumper stickers. Seriously, who buys these? There may be a reason why when you see a bumper sticker on a car there is usually about 15 others on that car as well. The market for who actually places these on their cars is a pretty limited group in my opinion. Sorry for that tangent rant. I don't like poor marketing or lack of creativity.) Three simple statements that if I could accomplish them would change my life in a radical way.

Live simply. Somehow I manage to make my life more complicated than it needs to be most of the time. Wants that drive me to add clutter to my life. Wasting time, money and energy on things that don't matter. If each day I set out to live simply that day, how different would my day look?

Love deeply. Not be nice, not like those who can help me, but truly love others. (You can still be nice and love deeply, but they aren't the same thing.) Do I put others ahead of myself, trying to live selflessly? Does my love for others alter the way I speak, the way I spend my time, what breaks my heart? Love is a word that gets thrown around a lot - I love that car, I love my dog, I love this food, I love doing ______. I don't think this is the type of love that we are suppose to have. A love that goes so deep that we are moved to act on it. A love that is focused outwardly and not on what we want. I think a lot of the times we are afraid to love deeply because it might mean that we get hurt when it isn't returned in the way we would like. I don't think loving deeply looks for anything in return though. We love because we simply want the best for others.

Pursue God. Pursue is a strong word. To me it means to chase after something. It isn't a casual, when time allows type of thing. It is intentional and with purpose. We seem more content to accidentally bump into God than to pursue him. Kind of like when we run into a friend we haven't seen in a long time. Pursuing a relationship usually means that you make an effort to be around that person. You create time to be around them, you want to hear about their lives, you care about what they care about. Shouldn't a pursuit of God look similar to that?

So for today I choose to live simply, love deeply and pursue God.

Far from perfect

At times I feel like I am surrounded by perfect people. People who have their lives together. Friends who are dealing with the big picture while I am stuck on the insignificant. Their strengths pointing out my shortcomings. It is tough doing life with those friends, but at the same time it moves me closer to where I want to be. If you desire something, then you learn about it, you benefit from being in the middle of it, seeing it lived out in front of you gives you a tangible example, something more than just a theory. The spotlight that it shines on my areas of weakness helps me identify what I still need to work on. The areas where I still need to grow. It can be a painful process. I want to quit at times. Settle for something less, but at the same time it draws me closer to those friends. I have a desire to have holiness and humility define my life so I seek out those who live that out. They are farther down the path than me and I often feel I slow them down as they wait on me to catch up. The slow kid in the group who is the last to catch on. The fat kid (insert your own politically correct description here if you like) who is picked last for the game. That is when it is the toughest. Knowing I will probably never get it quite right but still fighting through to move farther along than where I am at. They keep me moving forward even when they might not be aware that I am watching them for inspiration. Would they see themselves as being close to perfect? No, but that's okay because they need to be wrong occasionally. I miss more often than not in most things in life, but I do often get it right in who I choose to surround myself with. While it is tough to be surrounded by my friends when I look at how far I still have to go, it is also encouraging to see how far I've come largely in part because of their influence. Proverbs 13:20 says "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm." I want to keep choosing the wise, even though it would be easier to hang out with the fools. Do the people you surround yourself with move you forward or hold you back? Rarely do we stay in neutral, we are either growing or dying.

7 easy steps

I find it interesting to see what kind of books are out there when I have the chance to wander around and look at a bookstore. Based on the multiple books that are out there that can help you figure everything out in 7 easy steps you would think we would have it more together. Just follow these easy steps, and do things just this way, and everything will be perfect. Why are we still so screwed up then? We have even been given insights from God (a pretty reliable source on things if you ask me) on how to approach life and what should be the important things in our lives, but still yet we can't (probably more accurately said that we choose not to) do the things that are best for us.

Brian talked about forgiveness this weekend. Forgiveness is one of those things that we would be better off if we practiced it, but still we resist doing it. We want things to be our way, we want the other person to admit we are right, we have been hurt by them too much to forgive them... there are multiple reasons we won't forgive, but really it hurts us more than the person we think we are holding hostage by not forgiving them. Forgiveness is tough. Most things that are worth it are tough. The 7 easy steps... they usually don't work. Maybe that is the problem with all of the books and ways we try to do things. We want the quick, the convenient, the instant fix, the results without any hard effort. Probably the three things I work the hardest at (and still haven't got them down yet) are forgiving people (I tend to remember every slight rather it is real or imagined), humility (I am pretty sure that I am right a lot of time and that people should just accept that and life would be easier... at least for me) and not placing my expectations on other people (this one is probably the toughest for me and is closely tied to the other two items).

No books are going to solve my problems. They might give me some good suggestions, but until I start applying it to my life, nothing is really going to change. Change, as painful as it might be, is part of process. I probably won't ever have it all together, but that isn't a reason to stop trying. What book title would you like to see to give you those 7 easy steps to improve your life?

18 people, 1 house = chaotic fun

Ever need a push to do something? A deadline so that you will get it done? Don't know about you but I manage to take as much time as I have. This weekend I got a reminder of something that I had stated that I wanted to accomplish. On Sunday, my brother-in-law and I were talking about one of those things. He challenged me to keep moving forward on something we had talked about several months ago and set a deadline for a checkpoint in getting it done. Can I accomplish it? I don't know, but I do know that I need people in my life who come along side of me and challenge me. I am very lucky to have several people who do this for me on a regular basis. People who keep me from settling. I don't understand people who try to go through life on there own.

This weekend (still part of my three day weekend today) has been refreshing for me while at the same time completely exhausting. Today I am feeling the effects of the lack of sleep but love all of the time we have crammed in with family and friends. Let's just say 9 adults, 9 kids, and one house makes for lots of noise, but also lots of fun. I learned that a big black monkey is also known as Godzilla. That with that many kids, the back door is almost always standing open. Trying to get six cousins between the ages of 6 and 13 to go to sleep at night can be a challenge. Total chaos at times, but great memories being made. Will probably be trying to recover all week, but love the time spent with our family and some great friends.