What is the difference between being critical or judgemental versus being honest about areas for growth in our conversations? I often feel I cross that line. Saying "I'm just being honest" or saying that it is just my opinion doesn't mean it can't hurt the other person. As much I enjoy writing and feel I am decent at communicating my ideas, I feel I often choose the wrong words in this area. The tough thing for me is that I don't get a do-over. Once I've said something, I can't take it back. Any damage caused by my words has already been done. I don't intentionally try to be critical nor do I want to be "that" person, but it often seems my default is to find fault in others. How do you change from being critical to encouraging? I want to be the one people turn to when then need a good word to lift them up. I want to find the awesome qualities in the people I care about and let them hear about those more often. How do you move from finding the things that are wrong to finding the things that are right?
I know there is a place for challenging others to grow, but that can easily become a way to hurt them as well. I want to build others up instead of tearing them down. We casually treat our words as something that doesn't mean much, but in reality they have a lot of power in them. Sticks and stone may break your bones, but words can cause a lot of damage as well. Trying to figure out how to be real, but also want to choose my words with great care so that they show love. Sometimes saying nothing may be better than having my opinion heard. In the grander scheme of things, my opinions don't really matter much, but the love that I can show to others may make a huge difference in their lives.
So how do you help someone grow without tearing them down? Still trying to figure out how to live this life making the best impact possible. Love to hear your thoughts.
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