How do you create an environment where there aren't eggshells to walk around? Ever been in a discussion where you have to be careful what you say because any contradiction may set someone off? Is there room to disagree and push back? Can you achieve the goal in a different way than how you originally thought when walked into the meeting? How do you respond to being challenged? Do you become defensive and upset that your idea has been challenged or do you consider if that new idea may actually be better in reaching your goal? Is there room for people to change their minds?
The thing is that if you are spending all of your time avoiding the eggshells then I am guessing that group won't last long. High maintenance can wear people out. Drama at every turn will lead to people abandoning the idea, even if it is a great idea, because it can "literally" drain your energy and hope for accomplishing anything. I have discovered that I like to stomp on eggshells. Not intentionally most of the time, but I like to question things. Challenge to see if there is a better way to do things. For me that means, I need to be aware that not all people are at the same spot as me. Practically it means that I can be the one who is okay with my ideas being changed, seeing the value in another person's slight adjustments or even if my ideas are totally scrapped. I can't change how another person deals with things, but I can help set the tone of a discussion by how I respond. How do you create a safe place to discuss things and challenge each other without worrying about walking on eggshells?
1 comment:
Man. This is a tough one.
Sometimes I am the one creating the eggshells. I think that is because we look at our selves and our identity so much through this filter of having to be right, or Im a punk.
CS Lewis believed that Pride was the super sin, probably the thing that everything else came from and I think its the reason that we struggle so much in creating the eggshell free world, that your talking about.
You're right. We have to let go of identity being tied up in being right... ie. Maybe I'm right. Maybe Im not. If the goal of everyone were to LOVE each other no matter what, I think getting it right would fall to committing to God and each other and then the process of talking and considering and talking more and considering, and coming to the consensus, or at least the next step towards the consensus. And in many practical things there isn't really just the right versus the wrong, but it really can be just, how can we get to the best possible thing.
You can't separate intellect, and soul. On the inside, I am full of all kinds of things that keep me from knowing the truth in the best way. Not that there's not a truth. Its that its ultimately only knowable with humility.
thanks for these thoughts. They are helpful in focussing on humility today.
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