Thursday, May 28, 2009
The cost of change
How bad do you really want to change? What are you willing to sacrifice to accomplish it? Had a conversation with a friend last night about something he has been dealing with and how he would like to make some changes in that area of his life. As we talked about it, I realized how often we say we want to change some area of our life, but at the same time we don't really want it to cost us anything. We want the immediate benefit, but rarely want to put in the hard work to grow. Kind of like me saying I want to be the best basketball player (work with me here as I know there are lots of holes in this analogy), but at the same time I never practice, never work on my basic skills or never workout. I just show up for the game thinking I will be a great basketball player just because I want it to be that way. Sounds good in theory, but I don't want it to cost me anything. As we talked about it, we came up with a game plan. A plan that will cost him something of value if he doesn't work at making those changes. Excuses and wishing for change won't cut it. This morning I received an e-mail from another friend, who basically issued me a similar challenge. What I am really willing to do to make a change? Something that may cost me? Do you have something you need to change in your life? How much is it going to cost you?
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2 comments:
This is confession time, but I dont deal well with anger. I have grown to see the differences between good anger and bad anger, but my problem really is not one or the other, my problem is what I do with anger in the long term. Good or Bad. I tend to let my anger isolate me from people. And that is flat out an issue of being able to work through forgiveness.
If there is anything that I want to change about myself its that I want to be able to forgive without all the hang-ups. What I have to give up is my rights, to be angry, to be right, to be hurt etc.
This is my ongoing challenge. And what I will say is that God has helped me to work through a lot of stuff over the last few months. And he is showing me how to navigate the specifics as their going down. Long way from perfect, but Im learning.
I've learned through Celebrate Recovery, that the "stuff" in me that needs to change will only happen when the cost of staying the same is more painful than the change that needs to take place. That's the way it works for me. I know that holding onto my secrets and addictions (or going back to them) will cost me dearly. In all honesty, I lose sight of this at times, and I'm quickly reminded of what I could lose. If I didn't have my peeps - those that care about my recovery and hold me accountable, it would be much easier for me to go back - despite the inevitable pain. If I'm to stay "clean", God intends me to do it by being transparent - with honesty and humility. The cost of this transparency - of letting God have control - is that I can't indulge my selfish desires. I have to look beyond my feelings, my compulsions. Sometimes that cost seems too great, but when I reach out to God and my Brothers, I see that the cost actually leads to righteousness.
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