Thursday, May 21, 2009
Boundaries - yes or no?
Do boundaries protect us or limit us? Part of my personality is to push the boundaries. Tell me I can't do something, then I am likely to do just that. (Sometimes I am smart enough to not always act on that impulse.) Sometimes boundaries that have been established need to be broken. I have discussed with a friend of mine several times about him having permission to knock down any walls that I try to build between us. If I am hiding behind a wall things that aren't healthy or damaging to my soul, then I need someone who is willing to fight through that wall. But what about boundaries that have been set up simply because that is the way things have always been done? They may have been designed to protect us at one point, but can their purpose change to where they now limit us? What do you think? Are boundaries good for us or do they limit our potential?
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Yes and No.
I think there are Boundaries that are transcendent, but everything else has to be navigated in a personal way. In that sense, I think boundaries are made to get us to the next step with the ultimate goal of living a Jesus life without boundaries. In that sense, some old boundaries get in my way of that, I think. Here's an example.
Can a married man have a friendship with a woman who is not his wife? I ask that question because this seems to be the area that a lot of men stumble over. And the fear, of course, is that this type of relationship risks unfaithfulness. But does it have to be that way? Is it possible for a man and a woman to be friends on another level?
What I know about myself is that I have had to be very careful about that at times. I want to be faithful to my wife. I dont want to get mixed up in some emotional substitute for my wife and I certainly dont want to end up in anything physical. But, once in a while I see glimpses of what true God love is. Agape is the word that just means sacrificial. And there is only faithfulness in every way with that kind of Love. Is it possible for a man to have Agape Love for a woman who is not his wife in context of a relationship or a friendship?
I am amazed when I think of scripture and all the warnings that there are, boundaries, that tell us not to stumble in unfaithfulness. But no real absolute Law or Rule... really just a cultural boundary that changes from culture to culture, loosens or tightens based on the need, or the fear. But then again, I always come back to the ideal. Can Agape happen? Im not saying is it risky? I am saying is it possible?
Risk demands personal boundaries. But what about Agape? And is there a way to get from here to there?
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