Beaten

I feel beaten up each Sunday morning recently. That's not a bad thing, but it sure is draining. We have been going through a series on finances and what that should look like. The thing is this is probably the area I have struggled with the most in my life. I know what I am suppose to do, but because of poor choices in the past I have a long uphill battle to go. So each Sunday I feel beaten up knowing that I fall so short of what God has called for me to be. Just imagine that whatever it is you struggle with being the topic of conversation for 5 or 6 weeks straight. Honestly it is tough to go on Sunday knowing that what we are talking about is what I need to hear. Makes me wonder when we talk about other things if other people have those same feelings. Wondering as they sit there if they are the only ones who seem to struggle with that topic. I have made a real push recently to be transparent with those people who are close to me and doing life with us. It isn't easy a lot of the time, but I think if we The Church are ever going to really make an impact in people's lives they are going to have to see something different in us. People who have problems just like them but who are real about their struggles and trust in God and others around them to help. Basically we have three choices when it comes to the things we struggle with - we can put on our happy faces and pretend it isn't there, run away from having to deal with it or face it and work through it. By far the last one is the toughest, but the only way real change will come about. So I sit through another Sunday feeling like crap knowing that even though it may be tough that God is working in my life. What do you need to deal with? Probably not the same thing as me, but let's start laying our cards on the table and being real about our struggles. Let's be different and stop pretending that we have it all figured out.