What's the point?

Read an interesting blog on the purpose of community. Two different approaches to the purpose. Both agree that it is more than just a Bible study, that it is doing life together. One side sees the purpose as a place where people can find out who they are and how they are wired. A place to discover who God has created them to be. Where there is freedom from legalism and religion. The other viewpoint is that community is about spiritual formation meaning to push each other to be more like Jesus. Two ways that community can be done. Is one set up to fail? I think so. In my opinion if your group is based on the first viewpoint, then those hard conversations either won't happen or will destroy the group. The second viewpoint is based on those hard conversations. You know when you meet that you are giving people permission to push in those dark areas of your heart, to challenge you or to encourage you. It is about becoming more like Jesus and not about finding out who I am. I might know who I am and be nothing like Jesus. How does that help me be more like Christ? Uncomfortable? Yeah it can be, but it is a lot more helpful in transforming me than having a nice time together. It is a hard, slow, risky road to forming that type of community but then again it isn't about comfort it is about being more like Jesus. What do you think? Is there another purpose for community to add to the discussion?

Lost in the details

Had several reminders today of how incredibly blessed I am. Loved the following question that Lane asked me today - "What are some/one way(s) you see grace playing out in your life right now?" What an awesome reminder of the grace we have during each moment of our lives. It is constantly there, but I think I get so used to it that I forget to look around and see it. I get so caught up in the details of life and getting things done that I miss one of the most incredible gifts we will ever get. Do I stop and enjoy all that I have? Probably not often enough. More often than not I am like that ungrateful friend, you know what I mean, the one who takes and takes from the friendship but rarely if ever gives to it or says thanks. I've had friends like that before and it drives me crazy. One simple acknowledgement that they appreciate the friendship and I am good to go for quite awhile. Wonder if God feels the same way with me? He, the creator of the universe, desires to spend time with me and I take that for granted. My response should be to be grateful and humbled by that. Are you grateful for those things and people in your life? Let Him know and let those other people know as well. Imagine how that could make their day.

Imprints

What imprint are you leaving on other people's lives? Who is leaving part of their legacy in you? Was reading a blog written by Sheyenne about her "uncle" Bill that died this last week and made me wonder about those things as she described the impact he has had on her life. The big picture things and the little ways we leave our footprints. We are all leaving them, but are we doing it intentionally?

I feel so much of my life is spent focused on me that I miss the important things more often than not. I don't want to miss the chance to impact someone if I have that opportunity because I am so busy worried about the little things. The thing is that most of the time it is a gradual process through the little things that leave the impact. It takes time to invest in someone else. Seems to me that most days that is the thing we have little of - time. We run from one thing to the next hardly stopping to focus on those around us. To learn from those around us and to invest in those we could. Is that my imprint? Busy, without caring about those right in front of me. Like most things, the imprint we leave is our choice. What are you going to do with yours?

Aniticipation

Every get something stuck in your mind that you just can't seem to shake for the day? Usually for me it is something very unimportant like a song or "that's what she said" mentality, but today I read something on Mark Batterson's blog that has been playing on constant loop through my thoughts. Here is the one sentence that has been stuck there all day - "May you be filled with holy anticipation knowing that at any given moment God can invade the reality of your life and change everything." I have thought a lot today about if I live in holy anticipation. Do I wait eagerly and expect the moment God might decide to totally shake everything up and say today is that day? I have been talking with Lisa recently about seeing where God is moving and joining in (she is going through the Experiencing God study again which talks quite a bit about that) and wonder what we might be missing because we just go through our days and don't search for where God is working. That is part of what holy anticipation means to me. Am I constantly ready to allow God to invade my reality or do I have my plans that keep me from seeing those opportunities? I want to be ready because I don't know when, where or how God will decide to change everything, but I know that I might miss it I am not anticipating it. Are you ready for that "one day" moment when God might invade your life?

"Mad Church Disease" wrap up

Finished reading "Mad Church Disease" by Anne Jackson today. Can't say that it was anything really new to me, but it was a good reminder of some steps on keeping your health (mentally, spiritually, relationally and physically) in check especially for those on staff in ministry. I did like some of the questions at the end of the chapters (she calls them the "exam room") that were very practical steps in applying the various topics discussed. If you are on staff, or even if you are just heavily involved as a volunteer, I would recommend it as a good book to read. I have experienced it and seen it many times in people who burnout in ministry. You run full speed ahead without taking notice or often flat out ignoring the warning signs that you may be on the fast track to burnout. The book is a good chance to do a little self evaluation or better yet give those close to you the chance to help you check where you are at currently. I think some of her recommendations and reminders help provide a little preventative care that can be very helpful in keeping you from burning out. A quote from Charles Swindoll in the last chapter called processing through pain - "Don't get older; get better: Live realistically. Give generously. Adapt willingly. Trust fearlessly. Rejoice daily." Sounds like a good plan to me for living out each day.

Missing the cut

Have you ever been asked the question which Bible character do you relate to the most? I was reading something this morning that made me think of that question. On Mark Batterson's blog he was talking about Matthias, the second-round draft pick. Let me refresh your memory in case you don't remember hearing much about him, he was picked to replace Judas. That's it. No other mention in the Bible about him. He didn't get taken in the first round with the twelve, but here is the attribute that set him apart when they needed someone to replace Judas - he had followed Jesus the entire time. Isn't that amazing? He was faithful in following Jesus. That is what I want to be known for. If I am going to strive to be like Jesus then I have to faithfully follow him. Pretty simple when you think about it.

I often feel because I am surrounded by people who are more creative, more athletic, able to communicate to large groups, more outgoing, more whatever (sucks to have talented friends sometimes)... that I am often on the second team. I am one of those who blends into the team and you forget is there. I know that each of us has a part to play, but come on, who doesn't want to be taken in the first round? Here is the thing with Matthias though, he didn't quit, he simply continued to follow Jesus. Did he have doubts? Was he jealous of the twelve at times? Did he want to quit when it got tough? I don't know, but I do know he was ready to serve when the opportunity came. I need to be ready to serve, ready to love, ready to take action when Jesus says go. I might be a second-round draft pick (maybe even lower in the draft than that), but I am called to be faithful - nothing more or nothing less.

Continuing education

I am glad that I never stop learning. I might be slow to understand some things and get stuck in the remedial course on others, but hopefully I eventually get it. I love hearing people talk about things they are passionate about. You know those times when someone is talking and just can't seem to talk fast enough to keep up with what they are thinking. They want you to get it and to understand why they are so excited. I want to learn from them even if I don't care as much about the subject as they do. I love reading things that challenge me to think about things in a new way. People who see things from a different perspective. Probably part of my fascination with history as well. Learning the story behind the facts. I don't ever want to feel like I have arrived. That I can't be taught anything new.

So what am I learning? I am learning how to be a better husband. I watch those who approach marriage with love in every act of serving their spouse. I read how to protect the incredible relationship I have with my wife. I talk to friends who challenge me to be a better husband. I am learning how to be a friend. I surround myself with people who are good at this. Friends who teach me so much about how to do this thing called life. Guys who challenge my thinking and love me anyway. I have a lot to learn about a lot of different things. There is an endless amount of learning to be done. How do you learn? You live. Each day brings something new to the table. A new lesson (or maybe even a repeating one) that you get the chance to apply. A new perspective to see if you take the time to look from a different point of view. What are you learning today?

Box building

I've wondering if I have put God into a convenient box while thinking that I am pretty cutting edge. I was thinking about the miracles God displayed through Moses in his encounters with Pharaoh and wondered what I would have thought about those. I tend to think that if I had been around in the stories told in the Bible that I would have easily seen them for the incredible things they were, but would I have really? Would I write them off as a trick of Satan, be indifferent to them or recognize them as a miracle? Okay, so what if they happen today? What if the drug pusher down the street wants to give you the exact amount of money needed to pay off the debt of the church? What if you meet someone who was healed by that televangelists that you question as a fake? God can use whatever means he chooses right? Do we try to limit God to what we think is the way He should do things? If I can imagine it, doesn't that mean He can do something beyond that? The creation can't go beyond the creator so what I can imagine could be easily done by Him. Do I mold to God or am I trying to mold Him to fit my image? Don't know for sure some days, but I do know that I want to pursue a holy God that continues to blow away my small ideas and boxes that I try to build. I want Him to do things that I can't explain and don't expect.

Conversational generation

Read Craig Groeschel's latest blog about reaching the next generation for Christ and realized that I was obviously born in the wrong generation. He was discussing that in order to reach the next generation we need to be conversational. "This generation craves intimacy in relationships. They want to know and be known. This generation wants to talk. Conversation matters. Relationships matter. Intimacy matters. Before they listen to you, they want to know if you're listening to them." Man, sounds totally like how I would describe myself a lot of the times. Another part of that is bringing the real you. Fakeness can be spotted a mile away. You don't have to be cool or relevant to have a conversation with them, but you do have to be real. Probably one of the reasons I enjoy talking with high school and college students. They don't seemed to be as concerned with putting on the "everything is great" face and also probably why they think a lot of the church is hypocritical (the number one thing I hear from students in regards to problems with the church). The flip of that is if you are the type to judge based on how they look, then you probably aren't going to connect. If we are concerned about how many piercings they have, if they have tattoos, concerned with the style of clothing they wear, then it is going to be mighty tough to reach them. It is refreshing for me to know that others crave intimacy in relationships as much as I do.

Looking forward

What do you look forward to? Anticipation of something that is in the future. I look forward to the chance to spend time with my wife. I really cherish the date nights that we get. The chance to talk uninterrupted (highly value those conversations as they have to be intentional) and find out what she is thinking. To learn what is on her mind and how things are going. As a kid I looked forward to my birthday (not as much any more) and the weekends. The weekends meant freedom (at least from school) and the chance to spend time with friends. I still look forward to hanging out with my friends. One of the reasons I look forward to Monday nights. I get the chance to hang out with a good friend and have those conversations that motivate me. Honest and real from the start. Also look forward to being with some of my friends who are in college right now. I love to hear what is happening in their lives and the things they are learning. These are some of the things that I look forward to.

Do we look forward and anticipate spending time with God at that same level? Isn't that what hope is? Anticipation of spending time with Him. The incredible thing is that we can talk to and listen to Him at any time that we want. He is always ready to hang out with us. Does that blow you away? I want to anticipate spending time with Him the same way that I do with the other things I look forward to. Honestly, it is an amazing opportunity that I should anticipate more than any other thing in my life. What do you look forward to?

Weekend update

Some more random thoughts from the weekend so far (Love these 3 day weekends. BooYah!)

• We watched Newsies last night with Shanna and it made me wonder what it would be like if we randomly started singing during our day like they do in musicals. Also though it would make life more interesting if we all broke into choreographed dancing where we all somehow knew the steps. Would love to set it up where a group of people during a meeting or something would break into a song or dance similar to in a musical. That could be very entertaining.
• Another Newsies note. For those of who haven't seen it (come on it came out in 1992), it stars Christian Bale - yeah the Dark Knight himself. Tried imagining him in a third addition of Batman breaking out into song or a dance routine as the Dark Knight. I'm warped, what can I say.
• Lisa and I went to see "He's Just Not That Into You" on our day after Valentine's date. Made me think that life would be so much simpler if we just actually said what we meant instead of playing games. Decent date movie (yeah, probably more a chic flick, but my wife happens to be a chic so go figure).
• We also ate at Oliveto for the first time tonight. Liked the atmosphere and the food was pretty good. It is the new restaurant concept by Zio's.
• Took a couple of things away from this morning's sermon that I am still thinking about. One being that we may have a personal relationship with Jesus, but it isn't a private one. We are meant to live in community not by ourselves. Think that a lot of people use the personal relationship idea as a way to keep anyone from challenging them or their ideas. The other has to do with the role of elders (pastors, shepherds, or whatever other term may fit). I don't think a lot of people see this role beyond the ones who handle the financial decisions in the church. Unfortunately, I also don't think some who serve carry out their responsibilities beyond those either.
• We are going through Andy Stanley's "Twisting the Truth" video series in bible class. Good stuff to think about. Basically, Satan takes the truth and twists it just enough so that we end up way off target in the end. Read the account in Genesis. He hasn't changed his tactic too much since the time in the garden. Still seems to work for him a lot of the time.
• Ready to start reading through "Crazy Love" again as that is the next series/book that we are going to go through in bible class. Curious to see what thoughts it prompts in the class. Definitely challenges the status quo, which I happen to like.
  

Friday thoughts

Some random thoughts from the week so far.

• I am not very good at being sick. I don't have the patience for it. I think when I've been down a day I should be good to go, but my body keeps telling me otherwise. I am ready to be over this flu/stomach thing.
• Started reading "Mad Church Disease" by Anne Jackson this week. It talks about burnout of those in ministry whether in a paid position, a volunteer or if your family is in ministry. Looking forward to reading it as I think a lot of people in ministry feel they have to do it alone and end up burning out. Like the transparency in the way she writes. Will probably see some of those thoughts in some future blogs here.
• Looking forward to celebrating Presidents Day. Yup, it is a holiday that I now get off. Last several years at this time of the year I would have been in Dallas working 70 hour weeks. Have I said how much I like my job?
• I think we underestimate Satan a lot of times. He is out to kill, steal and destroy. Not some minor things there. If he can bring us down, how many other people does that effect? He is out to win at all cost while we tend to think he is just playing games. Would we be more intentional about chasing Jesus if we really believed someone was out to destroy us?
• I really like surprising people with the unexpected. Whether it is giving them something totally unexpected, serving them in some way, or just saying the unexpected. Some people are harder to surprise than others, but I have some plans that I am working on. That should scare some of you.
• Wondering what God has planned for me in the future. I felt like he was leading me a certain direction, but I am not so sure now. I wonder if he is just stretching me in different ways so that I can be prepared for the next step - whatever that may be. Kind of exciting, but also kind of scary. Never know what wild thing he may want you to do.
• Been an emotionally draining month for me. I'm ready to move on from that. Sometimes I wish I could just shut down my brain and not think about things so much.

Looking forward to the weekend (hopefully I will be over whatever I have by then). Not much planned other than a couple of basketball games, having some pizza with one of our friends, reading some of a fiction book I am part way through and a date with my wife. Pretty low keyed stuff, but a good three day weekend.

Power of forgiveness

Forgiveness is a powerful thing. I've been on the asking and receiving end of some the last couple of days and it made me realize a couple of things. First, I have some incredibly gracious and loving people in my life. Seriously, I walked away feeling so completely overwhelmed with affirmation even though I know I didn't deserve it. That is one of the the other things that I am realizing - asking and being forgiven are both very humbling. It is asking for something, knowing full well that there is no way that I even remotely deserve it. I realized that it isn't about me in any way, but simply seeking a chance to start over and hoping to build back some of that trust. Knowing how unworthy I am to receive their forgiveness also has reminded me of the forgiveness that God readily gives to us as well if only we ask. The asking was tough. To actually verbalize the things that I had done that were wrong required me to admit my mistakes. It is so much easier to just to skip that part and move on, but that cheats the relationship as well. I desire honest, real and incredible relationships. To have those I have to put other people ahead of me and hopefully that starts new today. To those that I have had these conversations with the last couple of days, know that I am simply amazed at how Jesus is reflected in your lives. You are amazing and you continue to teach me how to live out my life! Thanks.

Shattered

Listening to one of my favorite songs by O.A.R. while I was in the car this evening. The song is titled "Shattered" and one particular line caught my attention - "How many times can I break till I shatter?" This pretty much sums up where I am right now. I am broken, but not shattered. I just don't know if one more hit will shatter me though. Hard to explain as it isn't one particular thing, but I feel a lot of who I am and what I think has been my purpose has been broken. I know God can pick those up and use them as he see fits. I get that, but the process is still tough. The thing that scares me the most is the damage it can do to those around me. I feel because of the way I have dealt with this time of shaping that I have several relationships to repair. Hopefully those aren't shattered. Feel like God has stepped into those areas that I was using to substitute for him and said I want you, all of you. My focus needs to move away from me - the I want, I need, I...blah, blah, blah...I am sick of me. I want to refocus on God and loving others. Not sure what He wants to create with the broken pieces, but I am sure that it will be better than what I was creating.

Love vs. likeability

Can't shake a couple of lines that I read from Steven Furtick's blog this morning - " God is not always likeable but He's always loving. Don't confuse God's love with likeability. He is entirely unconcerned about how He fares in the popularity poll. Maybe you don't like what the Lord is doing in your life right now. That's okay. He's infinitely more moved by how much He loves us than how much you like Him." Does that blow you away? His love for us is his top priority. So what if we don't understand why he does something - I don't think he really cares. He is way more concerned for us than we are about ourselves. He knows when we need to hear no, He knows when we need to be removed from a situation or person, He knows when we need direction and discipline - He loves us enough to do the right thing for us. The right thing isn't usually the most popular thing. He may not be winning in the popularity contest, but frankly he would rather give us what we need in love than to be liked by us for what He gives us.

Do we have that same love for others? Or are we more concerned about our popularity than loving them? What's our top priority - loving or likeability? Pretty much comes down to loving Him and loving others. I haven't read much mention about being liked in the Bible. Wonder why that has become one of the things we are most concerned about then?

Honest feedback

I love the real and honest feedback I get from the people in my life. People who speak truth into my life and not try to blow smoke or tell me what they think I want to hear. I would rather hear what needs to be said, even it hurts at the time, than to have someone give me false words of encouragement. Now not everyone has earned the right to speak bluntly into my life. Truth is truth, but for me to best hear it sometimes it has to come from people who have invested in me and who I know want the best for me even when it is uncomfortable (especially when it is uncomfortable). Do you seek out these kind of people? Are you this kind of person? Do you think we are suppose to be this kind of person if we are trying to pursue Jesus? What do you think? The processing continues...

Wow! My head hurts from thinking...

Okay, I don't think I can try to process one more thing right now. So many good thoughts and things to think about that I don't know which one to start with. Here is a glimpse into my thoughts the last 24 hours:

• Ever agree to a challenge and then think wait what did I just agree to? Yep, that was me last night. Intense, raw and very real conversation takes place every other Monday night for me when I meet with one of my friends to discuss life. It is so encouraging, but also challenging. Last night we decided to focus on one of the fruits of the spirit each week and try to live that out. This week "I choose love... No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today, I will love God and what God loves." (From Max Lucado's "When God Whispers Your Name") What was I thinking?
• This morning I also got the chance to hang out with another friend of mine who is incredible. Someone who challenges me, encourages me and is so freaking humble. His example blows me away. Anyway, he challenged me to move forward in a dream that I had talked about with him several months ago. His passion and transparency are what I need to hear right now. It was so invaluable to me. Along with this conversation, when I got the chance to check my e-mail this morning I had one from by brother-in-law which basically said he was still wanting to pursue this same dream I had shared with him. A little freaked out about the timing of that!
• Read Sheyenne Wilson's blog (seanandshey.blogspot.com) titled "Don't Be An *" this morning and loved the message she pulled out of this Super Bowl commercial. Real, transparent and mask not allowed. Love the tag line of this commercial - "So be determined. Be Real. Or, be whatever you want. But don't be an asterisk." Seriously, go read her thoughts on this. Huge soapbox of mine.
• Also read Tony Morgan's blog (tonymorganlive.com) titled "Questions" that he posted last night and had the thought that could have been written by me. Weird to see someone else write something that so resembles your thoughts. He starts out ... "My life is really a series of questions that I'm constantly asking. Could be one of the reasons why I always prefer to interview than be interviewed. I like to ask questions. Here are some common ones I'm regularly asking:" Go checkout the seven (or eight) questions he asks. Substitute Lisa instead of Emily in question 3 and I could have seriously written this blog.

I know this is long post and would be surprised if you made it this far, but writing is one of the ways I sort out my thoughts. It is a glimpse in how my mind works. I love all of the conversations I've had and the thoughts that have been planted in my head the last several days. It is so refreshing after last week when I felt so far removed from everyone and questioned lots of motives and reasons. It is so good to have community!

Friendship - part 2

Read the following during lunch today and it seemed to go along with my post from this morning (at least in my mind it does).

"We believe life change happens best in relationships. Life change, that is, transformation. It is facilitated by biblical teaching. It is inspired in worship. It happens through everyday life experiences. It is nurtured and developed in accepting and honest relationships.

Relationships are scary for many people. Groups are even scarier. People have had weird experiences in church small groups. Friends have betrayed confidences. People tend to be leery of other people getting too close. And yet, God designed us for friendship, for relationships where can know and be known. Where we can experience grace because someone accepts us...anyway. And loves us too much to leave us there."

I have been trying to figure out how small groups or life groups or whatever you want to call them are suppose to work. Don't know how you model it to meet every one's need or even if there even needs to be a one size fits all approach. What I do know is that these relationships are the type of friendships that have shaped and developed the life changes I have experienced. I know how they work for me (sort of...well not really, but I know that I need them and seek them) and that if we are consistently in those type of relationships that a life change is more likely to happen. Can you tell relationships are on my mind today? They often are ... even though I officially suck at them most of the time, my heart desires those types of relationships as I move forward in trying to be more like Jesus every day.

The non-negotiables

I had a conversation with a friend of mine several weeks ago and he was talking about the different friends he has in his life. Friends that he grew up with, friends from school, friends that he is currently doing life with, to him they all were the same - friends. That struck me as strange because I see differences in my friendships. I see them falling into groups more like a target. I have those in my inner circle - those that know me really well and have open access to my life. These are the ones whose opinion I seek out, challenge me, encourage me, know the quirks I have, know me at my best and also at my worst. Then there is the next ring of friends who are good friends. We may have some things or interest in common. I can have an easy conversation with them but they probably don't know my deepest thoughts or concerns. Glad to hang out with them and have fun with them, but probably not at that level where I have developed a complete trust in them. Then there are my buddies. People I might know enough to chat with or spend some time with in a group setting. They know me at my surface. To me this is the level most people (especially guys) settle at. This is what they call friends. Not right or wrong, but I think it is settling for a lot less than what we were intended to have. My question (after that long introduction) is this - what 2 or 3 qualities would say are non-negotiable for you to have a deep friendship with someone? I think we all have that list whether we verbalize it or not or even think about it. Looking at those closest to you, what are the things you won't comprise on in your friendships? Their personalities may vary (my do anyways), but they have some definite things in common. Curious what makes other people tick.