I had an hour between meetings on Sunday (seems every meeting falls on the same Sunday so it ends up being an all day event) so after grabbing a quick bite to eat I decided to wander around in Barnes & Noble for a while. I love to read, but I don't often have time to just wander around in the bookstore and see what interest me. As I was wandering around I finally picked up Donald Miller's newest book called "Father Fiction". I really liked his latest book "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" so I was curious about this one. I was hooked right away, but finally I had to put down the book after reading the first couple of chapters or risk being late to my next meeting. "Father Fiction" is about growing up without a father and how he had to learn some of those important things from other men in his life.
I don't understand what it is like to grow up without that influence. I am blessed to have an incredible dad who has spent his life chasing after Jesus. I realize how incredible it is that Lisa and I both grew up in homes where our parents loved each other and us and though not perfect still tried to follow Jesus. I had their example to follow, but I know that many don't. I see it all of the time in working with high school students. Parents that walk out, or are incredibly selfish, or just don't have a clue what they are teaching their kids by the way they live. I love reading stories like the one our friend Shanna wrote about the women in her family (her mom, her grandma, her aunts) and how they have impacted who she is today. I love to hear Lane talk about the role his dad has played and continues to play in his life. I love watching my parents and Lisa's parents and our friends parents involved and investing in their grandkids lives. There are some things that we are suppose to learn by observing it in our role models. We are suppose to have those relationships that hold us to a higher standard, who are let down if we screw up and ecstatic when we succeed. There are those who don't have that in their lives and I feel that we are supposed to step into that gap and be that role model. It isn't easy, but neither is trying to figure out life on your own.
I love the line in the movie "Parenthood" that says "you know, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father." Sad, but true. I see it the guys I've mentored. I am constantly amazed at how some 18 or 19 year old guy feels he has to raise his parents. That he is the one who has to be responsible because his parents are only concerned with themselves and don't have room in their lives for anything else. Being a sperm donor is easy, being a dad isn't. Kind of like the rest of life though, being involved is messy. I know that I don't have it all together so stepping in and saying follow me is scary. But you know what, if you are a Christian, that is what we are suppose to do. We are suppose to live it out for others to see. By following Christ, you are volunteering to be a role model. To teach someone who isn't as far along the path as you are. Not perfect, but still sharing the things you do know. Being willing to enter into those relationship and hold them to a high standard and to be held to higher standard. Invest in someone even when (especially when) they screw up and celebrate like crazy when they succeed. Who are you going to invest in? There are a lot of people looking for role models just not many willing to be one.
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