Summer breaks are where it is at

Hold on and enjoy the ride. Feel like that would be the tag line for my life as a movie. Not that is that exciting or wild of a life, but because sometimes holding on is about all I can do and other times it is a freaking fun ride.

Summer is one of the best times for the fun. I still mentally kind of hit that summer vacation mode (starting about this time of the year) you have when you are a kid, even though it has been a lot years since I've had one of those summer vacations like you have when you are in school. Everyone seems to slow down and have more free time. I love hanging out late into the evening and just enjoying the company of friends. The days where you just want to go hang out at the pool and kick back and enjoy the awesome day. I don't want to be in such a rush in life that I miss out on enjoying it. I will never be one of those people who have extra vacation days left over at the end of the year.

Maybe you are in one of those moments in life where you are just trying to hold on. If so, hang in there and look for the joy. It may be tough to find, but most of the time if we look hard enough, it is usually there. Not a fake happiness, but joy. It usually comes in the small ways that we can forget to look for. So what are the things that bring you joy? List them out and find a way to work them into your calendar. Make time to enjoy the ride, even if you have to schedule in the time to learn how to do it. I think I am out of here to go start experiencing some of that fun. Wonder how many things I can still fit into the rest of the day that will bring me joy? It has been a good day filled with interruptions that have been fun. Looking forward to what the rest of the week may hold. Go and start your summer vacation now. It is okay. Just go and tell your boss that I said so.

A little reflection

Had one of those strange moments last night of "who would have thought it". I was briefly on facebook last night and had the chance to IM with a couple of friends. The thing that struck me was that I met both of them shortly after moving to Tulsa... almost 20 years ago. One of them I coached in soccer for a couple of years, the other one I had in my small group while he was in high school. We have remained friends over all of those years. I've gotten married and had 3 boys in that time while each of them have gotten married and had two kids. One is pursuing his dream of a career in medicine, while the other has switched from his job in management several years ago to now learning Chinese in Taiwan. There have been a lot of highs and lows in our lives during those years. Times when we leaned on each other. Times when I wondered if our friendship would last. The strange thing while I have been friends with them both for almost 20 years that I continue to learn new things about them. As we continue to grow and change a part of them has been weaved in my life during those times. While we don't talk nearly as often as we used to, we still can go from hanging out and having fun to seriously deep in no time at all. They stretch me and challenge me to see life differently. They ask me tough questions and keep me on my toes. And I love that. I love that even after that long, I look forward to being around them and talking to them. Look forward to the fun to be had and the serious conversations that take place. Just a little reflection on two friends who have been a huge part of my life over the long haul.

Images

"The images that capture your focus will determine your destiny." - from Steven Furtick's blog today.

What captures your focus? I've been thinking about this in a couple of situations that are going on around me right now. I think I often see pictures of what could be. Where things could go over the next several years. The possibilities of some incredible things. Others see the mess of right now. The pieces that need to be rearranged and put back together. I may be a dreamer while they claim to be realist (another word for pessimist in my book most of the time). Different images have captured our focus. The cool thing is that we get to choose what we focus on. The imagines that dominate our thoughts are what we choose. Will I focus on myself, my career, or my family? Will my mind be held captive by a small boy the same age as my middle son who lives in the Philippines? Will I see the need that is all around me and the faces of those who are hurting? Will a new house or new car hold that spot in the digital picture frame in my mind? What image has captured your thoughts? What we dwell on is where we are heading. Don't like where that leads, then change the image you are focusing on. What is your destiny going to be?

Amazed

When did amazing stop being amazing? I often hear people describe something they like as amazing. This burrito is amazing. Really? You are amazed... stopped in your tracks... can't find the words to describe... in awe of... a burrito? It doesn't bother me that people describe the non-amazing as amazing, but what really amazes you? When was the last time your jaw dropped at how incredible something was? When did you have to say "wait a minute" let me soak this in because this is one of those once in a lifetime experiences? When was the last time you stood and stared (probably with your mouth open a little bit) because you could not fathom how something could be this wonderful? When did amazing come to mean a little bit better than I thought?

I wonder if we don't settle for less. We could have amazing, but we settle for pretty good. We dream of something a little beyond where we are financially, a marriage that is just a little bit better, a church that might be a little more like Jesus was... we settle for something a little beyond what we can accomplish. What we can accomplish isn't usually that amazing. But if we could be just a little better, say the right words more often, follow the plan a little closer, have things go our way just a bit more, then life would be amazing. Really? Is that what amazing means?

I want things that will totally blow my mind. Things that are so far outside of anything I can accomplish on my own. The dreams I have... I want something that totally shatters them. That is amazing. Are you settling for good because you are afraid to expect amazing? Is it possible we our setting our sights a little too low?

Have an amazing day!

Can you slow down?

Is it possible to slow down? Is each day really about getting from point A to point B? Is our love of speed, rushing from one thing to the next, an addiction or an obsession or maybe an idol? How many of us have said "Maybe when I have some time" or "I need more hours in the day"? Do we look forward to things or are we so busy that we can only focus on the immediate? Do we know how to enjoy the moment and savor it or do we just fly through it? Are we scared of the silence of slowing down? Are we bored if we don't have something in front of us 24/7? Do we determine our worth by our busyness? If we are busy, we don't have to be vulnerable or have real community because we only have time to briefly connect with others. Is our obsession with speed part of the reason we are lonely? Does the clock and calendar rule your life?

No answers. Lots of questions. What do you think? Do you need to slow down? If so, how are you going to start your season of slowness? Or are you going to wait until you have more time?

Driving along the road

Do you ever think about the guardrails along the side of the road? Me neither. I am used to them being there and never really think about them. They are common place and just part of the scenery. UNTIL you need them. Then they serve a purpose. Just because we haven't needed them before doesn't mean they aren't useful or necessary.

I've also been thinking about integrity and how we maintain it. Again not something we generally think about. I wonder what guardrails should be put in place now that I might need in the future to protect my integrity. If I never need them to keep me from going off the road, great, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't consider it now.

We seem to react to events instead of preparing for them to possibly happen. We know a lot of the dangerous curves that exist in our lives. The areas where we could compromise our integrity with just a slight turn of the wheel. Seems like it just makes sense to put a guardrail up there before we need it. Once we've driven off the road, it is a little late to think about putting up a guardrail.

So where do you need some guardrails in your life? More importantly, what are you going to do about it?

Encouragement 101

What encourages you? I love hearing people answer that question. You can see it in their body language as the become excited to explain to you how someone encouraged them. They can't wait to tell you how someone had the right words to say at just the right time or was a shoulder to cry on when they need one or gave them a hug when they felt all alone and isolated. Encouragement has that kind of affect on people. It may not change any of the circumstances, but it can definitely change the perspective. It usually doesn't cost much either... a little time and a willingness to do it.

So back to the original question, how have you been encouraged recently? Let me hear your stories. These are some of my favorite types of stories to hear.

Also, it is worth asking, who in your life needs encouragement from you right now? Be creative, make it simple, listen for the opportunity, whatever you need to do... just make it happen today. Have a blast being encouraging to others today!

Thoughts from wandering the book aisles

I had an hour between meetings on Sunday (seems every meeting falls on the same Sunday so it ends up being an all day event) so after grabbing a quick bite to eat I decided to wander around in Barnes & Noble for a while. I love to read, but I don't often have time to just wander around in the bookstore and see what interest me. As I was wandering around I finally picked up Donald Miller's newest book called "Father Fiction". I really liked his latest book "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" so I was curious about this one. I was hooked right away, but finally I had to put down the book after reading the first couple of chapters or risk being late to my next meeting. "Father Fiction" is about growing up without a father and how he had to learn some of those important things from other men in his life.

I don't understand what it is like to grow up without that influence. I am blessed to have an incredible dad who has spent his life chasing after Jesus. I realize how incredible it is that Lisa and I both grew up in homes where our parents loved each other and us and though not perfect still tried to follow Jesus. I had their example to follow, but I know that many don't. I see it all of the time in working with high school students. Parents that walk out, or are incredibly selfish, or just don't have a clue what they are teaching their kids by the way they live. I love reading stories like the one our friend Shanna wrote about the women in her family (her mom, her grandma, her aunts) and how they have impacted who she is today. I love to hear Lane talk about the role his dad has played and continues to play in his life. I love watching my parents and Lisa's parents and our friends parents involved and investing in their grandkids lives. There are some things that we are suppose to learn by observing it in our role models. We are suppose to have those relationships that hold us to a higher standard, who are let down if we screw up and ecstatic when we succeed. There are those who don't have that in their lives and I feel that we are supposed to step into that gap and be that role model. It isn't easy, but neither is trying to figure out life on your own.

I love the line in the movie "Parenthood" that says "you know, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father." Sad, but true. I see it the guys I've mentored. I am constantly amazed at how some 18 or 19 year old guy feels he has to raise his parents. That he is the one who has to be responsible because his parents are only concerned with themselves and don't have room in their lives for anything else. Being a sperm donor is easy, being a dad isn't. Kind of like the rest of life though, being involved is messy. I know that I don't have it all together so stepping in and saying follow me is scary. But you know what, if you are a Christian, that is what we are suppose to do. We are suppose to live it out for others to see. By following Christ, you are volunteering to be a role model. To teach someone who isn't as far along the path as you are. Not perfect, but still sharing the things you do know. Being willing to enter into those relationship and hold them to a high standard and to be held to higher standard. Invest in someone even when (especially when) they screw up and celebrate like crazy when they succeed. Who are you going to invest in? There are a lot of people looking for role models just not many willing to be one.

Development, confrontation and other random things

Seems like a new post about every two weeks has become the norm for me recently. That is a far cry from the almost daily thoughts about 3 months ago. Writing tends to go in cycles for me which may explain why I may never actually finish writing the book I had been working on. By the time I finish it, it will be time to turn around and update the stories and throw out the ideas that I have changed my mind about. A vicious cycle, but that's okay, as I write mainly to organize my thoughts. Otherwise they just bounce around in my head and take up valuable space. So just remember, if you are reading this blog, that it is a continual work in process. So on to a few of my latest random thoughts...

• If you get the chance, check out The G Sides at grantenglish.com. Not sure how I started following his blog, but I think it may have been from my brother-in-law's blog (chrisediger.com) as they might have been college friends or roommates. (Could have just totally fabricated that story, but I think that was the way I originally stumbled onto his blog.) Anyway, he has been writing recently about "Beyond the Starting 5" which lays out some of his thoughts about what developing people looks like in the church. The title comes from the idea that in basketball the starting 5 will only get you so far. How far you will go depends more on what you have beyond those starters. Think about the programs like Duke, North Carolina, Kansas they seem to consistently develop good players. How does that work in the church? Are we developing people or just running them through programs? What happens if your front-line volunteers in your church get tired, or are called to serve somewhere else, or get sick, or move for their job? Do you have anyone beyond those starters? Are we making disciples because we love them? (Love his thought of this as the collision of the Great Commission and the the Great Commandment). Are we really developing people? Are we investing in the messiness of other's lives? What is God doing in that person that I can join in and be a part of? What character is being developed in my life or hurts have I experienced that might be helpful in developing someone else? The messiness of life is where it happens, but it won't be convenient.
• How well do you receive help? I love to help others when I can. The chance to help someone out financially or to share things I have learned. I love that role. Being on the other side... I don't like that much. It means that I have to admit that I can't do it on my own. I don't have it together. I am learning how to receive more graciously. Learning how to lean on others is harder for me than learning to give. I am thankful for the friend who pointed that out to me this last week. The friend who basically told me not to let pride stand in the way of being able to receive help. Also from another friend who pointed out that I have to let community help to be able to experience community. I am so thankful for those people who are willing to invest in me and teach me, even when it means I have to admit I am not anywhere close to having it all together.
• How well do you handle confrontation? Being a leader often involves being willing to enter into conflict. I don't think I will ever enjoy conflict, but I am learning that certain things may require us to confront others. It is part of the job of being a leader and really part of being a Christian. I don't like when I am confronted about sin in my life, but it is what I need. So are you willing to do what is needed? Confrontation isn't always harsh. Matter of fact it can be done gently, but it still needs to be done.

So until the next inspiration strikes. Maybe even in the same week.