Is great sustainable in a relationship? Can you consistently have a great marriage? Can you have a great friendship that last? Can your relationship with God maintain at that great level?
I was reading about some of the players up for consideration for the pro football hall of fame. We mark them as great in their profession. Why? Because the did it well year after year. They put in the time and effort in the little details. The workouts, the repetition of the plays over and over during practice, the studying of the film, throwing the ball or catching the ball over and over, adjusting the technique to gain an advantage... all of the little details that played out on the field. We saw the results of their total commitment to being the best. Yes, they were usually gifted athletes, but it was the details that made them great.
So you want a great marriage? Are you paying attention to the details? You want a great friendship? Are you paying attention to the details? Want a dynamic relationship with God? Are you paying attention to the details? The details, day in and day out. We look at the results of a great career, a great marriage, someone we would describe as a great friend and we want the end results. But do you want it enough to sacrifice for it? Are you willing to give yourself 100% to it? Are you ready to bring it every day?
I wonder if we want those things, but look for the changes we need to make in the other person to have them. I want a great marriage, but my spouse needs to change_______ (fill in the blank). I would like to have great friends, but they don't _________ (fill in the blank). I want to chase after Jesus, but He needs to do ________ first. We make it about the other person, when I wonder if it isn't about us being selfless. I wonder if we spent more time focused on serving the other person or God if those relationships than trying to change them if they would be great?
Do you want the end results without the work? Sorry, it doesn't happen that way. Test it out. Ask someone who you think has a great marriage, or someone you would describe as a great friend or someone who has a great relationship with God what their secret is. I would bet a large part of it boils down to showing up every day and thinking about the other person. It is about listening when you don't "feel" like it. It is about serving when you don't "feel" like it. It is about spending time with them. It is about being consistent in their lives. So what do you think? Is great an option?
1 comment:
It's tough being objective on this one but I think the answer is both yes and no. I think the world, broken like it is, keeps the ideal from ever being fully realized. But I think something of it can happen. Alot of this is perception. I know a few people with a pretty pessimistic view of the world that talk like this world is Hell. But the reality is that while there might be things here that are the beginning of Hell, there also things that are the beginning of Heaven.... (or the coming kingdom).
Sometimes in relationships, I think that people can be a lot closer to the ideal than they think, and what it takes for them to get something of it, is to just wake up and step out into it.
I think you're right that the walking into it, involves sacrifice and service. And weather we think were almost there, or weather we think that we're still along way from reaching it, depends on my perception, and that' usually a function of how much I'm willing to give.
There are a few factors that aren't mine (in terms if responsability). I can't make someone love me. I can't make people feel certain ways about me. I can't make someone give back. And these things, in the end, are crucial to getting the ideal relationship.
But there are just some things out of our control. All you can do is live in it, do what you can do, and pray that there's some kind of magic in it.
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