Hidden agendas?

Does anyone else play the assumption game? The game that says based on their actions this must be what they are thinking or their reasons for doing/not doing something. I've found that even though I am pretty observant that the assumptions I make are often wrong. Sometimes I give the other person too much credit, sometimes I don't know someone as well as I think I do, sometimes my emotions cloud the view, sometimes I am just plain wrong. I've lived the statement that says "you know what happens when you assume?" (If you don't know the answer, ask around as I am sure someone can tell you.) My view is based on their actions or appearances. Those can be deceiving. What I see may not match the reasons for those actions. I ran across this in my reading last night. Proverbs 21:2 says "We justify our actions by appearances; God examines our motives." We see the outward, God examines the inside. So my assumptions may be wrong. What I think your motive is doesn't really matter, but God knows the real motive. He cuts through the walls and layers we build to see our hearts. Kind of scary, but also kind of cool. Does our actions match our motives? I may not know if your appearances are real, but that doesn't matter because God is looking intently at our motives.

A little update

Half way there. Yesterday was day 45 of reading through the bible in 90 days. Currently reading through Proverbs which is one of the most practical books of the bible for me. I love the insights that I get each time I read through it. No matter where I am currently at in life there is something in there that speaks directly to me. An interesting switch from Psalms which reveals a lot of the emotion of the writers. Psalms dealt with the heart and Proverbs is reaching my mind. Wonder if that is part of what the verses in the new testament is talking about it when it says to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind?

Refreshing day yesterday as I got to talk with some friends I haven't seen in awhile. A chance to catch up a little with the things happening in their lives and to enjoy their friendship. Kind of shows the diversity of my friends. One I've known for 24 years, the other I've known about a year. One lives in Las Vegas, the other I met on a plane going to Vegas. One started out investing in me, the other I started out investing in. Both are friends I don't get to talk with very often, but I love the unique perspective they bring to my life. A day I think God knew I needed to hear some encouragement from some friends.

Keep circling around the idea of living in the expectancy and not in the expectations. Enjoying the things I look forward to in friends (laughter, good conversations, etc.) but not having the expectations (rule that it has to happen). The good conversations that took place yesterday. A note from my aunt that simply says "I love you". A message from a friend half way across the world that shared her thoughts on my blog from yesterday. Enjoying the moments of friendship without expecting them. Hard not to look ahead and expect those, but trying to live fully in the moment and enjoying them. Thanks Shane, Joel, aunt Cathy and Kim for making yesterday better simply because you were part of it.

Multiple choice

A couple diverse thoughts to start off your Monday morning. Kind of like those multiple choice tests from high school. Pick the one that best applies to you. No grades will be given, but a 1,000,000 bonus points for sharing your thoughts.

• Do you think we should pray like the ones written in Psalms? I can't help but imagine what a Sunday morning would look like if we heard some prayers like these. They didn't seem too concerned with "prettying up" their thoughts. Read this morning about smashing the heads of their enemies. These were not prayers about so-and-so's sick grandma (not that grandma isn't important), but raw and intense prayers for help and emotional prayers of thanks. They seemed to take to heart the fact that God already knew their true thoughts and feelings and just honestly shared them. Wonder why our prayers sound so sanitized? They often sound more like a speechwriter has crafted them (lots of words, but not much substance) than us honestly talking to God.
• Not sure what even prompted me to write down these two questions yesterday, but I've been trying to take an honest look at my life and answer them. Give it a whirl and see what you come up with. How do you sacrifice your convictions? What is your compromise?
• Do you listen before speaking the truth? I have had several people speak truth into my life the last couple of days. Some I was glad did, others just made me angry. The truth is always needed, but sometimes our delivery of it can make it harder to receive. I have tried to sort through and hear the truth, but have wondered if some of the ones delivery it were more concerned about me or saying what they felt needed to be said. One says I care about you, the other says I am right. You may be right, but if you don't care about me first, it really doesn't help me much. What do you think?
• How do answer the question - How are you doing? Do you really tell everyone how things are going for you? Do you just default to the acceptable answer - fine? I have probably been asked this question about 10 times (at least) over the weekend. I probably honestly answered two of those people. Eight people got something else. Why the difference? For me it is because those two really seemed to want to know. They allowed time for me to answer. I wasn't on the clock so they could move on to the next person. They had seen something that made them wonder about me and they asked. They cared enough to see me. The people in line checking me out will probably always get the "fine" response. Those who throw it out as a greeting, will get the "fine". When I ask that question, I want that person to know that I really want to know how they are doing. I don't want the expected answer (unless of course you are really doing fine and then you will probably have to convince me of that). How do we slow down enough to see the people around us?

There you go. A few thoughts to get you started today. Go for it and weigh in with your thoughts. How often do you get the chance to make this easy of an "A"?

Lesson learned

How do you deal with people who let you down? (If it hasn't happened yet in your life, my guess it will at some point. I hope not, but we all tend to be messed up in our own way and bring that into our relationships.) I would describe myself as logical and that I tend to observe and analyze the situation fairly well (over analyze is probably more accurate according to my wife), but I also know that I can have pretty intense emotions especially with the things I am passionate about. So this last week has been a struggle as I dealt with wondering if it was worth investing in other people's lives anymore (something I am passionate about). What the exact issues were don't really matter, but how some friends responded does.

One of them simply asked how I was doing. He was available to listen. He didn't offer any solutions or try to solve the problems, he was just available. Another friend encouraged. She pointed out things from the past where she saw that my investment had made a difference. She also suggested that I watch "A Wonderful Life" and imagine myself as Jimmy Stewart's character to see the impact that I may have had in people's lives without even realizing it. (I love creative ideas!) Another friend offered some tough words to hear. Words that challenged me to look at whether my expectancy that exists in friendship (the looking forward to being together, laughing together and talking) had turned into an expectation (a rule that expects them to act a certain way to meet my expectations). An idea that she found intriguing from the book "The Shack". My way of dealing with it at the time was to pull back from those people for a time (wrong way) and then decided to serve them (a lot better way). To continue to invest even though I wanted to do anything but that.

I need each of those voices in my life. Friends who will listen, friends who will encourage, friends who will challenge. The cool thing to me was those voices were from people I didn't expect. (May be onto something with the whole expectancy vs. expectations thing. One of those things I realize, but a whole lot harder to put into practice.) So where do you need to listen, who do you need to encourage, do you need to challenge someone, do you need to serve? We all have a part to play. What is your part for today?

Who cares?

I wonder what I am missing. How many things slip by unnoticed in the busyness of life? Is someone hurting, but I'm too busy to notice? Does someone need a word of encouragement that may help them make it through the day? We have no problem pointing out the failures of others, but do we celebrate the things they get right?

It has been one of those weeks for me. One of those weeks were everything seems to hit at once. My inadequacies on display for all to see. My insecurities just right below the surface. Questioning every action and trying to figure out which way is up. Just hoping to make it through the day without adding one more thing to the list of things that I've done wrong. I was at the breaking point when I got an e-mail that simply said that someone noticed. He asked if there way anything I needed help with. It wasn't out of obligation. It wasn't for any other reason than he noticed something that made him wonder if everything was okay. And he asked. A simple e-mail that made a huge difference.

Makes me wonder how many people pass by me each day hurting. Putting on the smile and pretending everything is great when in reality they are in need of someone to notice them. Notice that they matter. It doesn't take much to ask them how they are really doing. It doesn't take much effort for me to write a note to tell someone that I notice the difference they are making. To let someone know they are loved just because. For me that means my focus needs to shift off of my problems and look for those opportunities. Take the time to notice what is happening in the lives of those around me. Who do you need to notice today? Who could use a simple note that says you care?