Final thoughts on "Faith & Doubt"

A couple of quotes from "Faith & Doubt" that I really like.

• The Christian faith is bi-polar. Disciples live their life between worship and doubt, trusting and questioning, hoping and worrying.
• Disciples are not people who never doubt. They doubt and worship. They doubt and serve. They doubt and help each other with their doubts. They doubt and practice faithfulness. They doubt and wait for their doubt one day to be turned to knowing.

I especially relate to the first quote. I feel I go from trusting God completely, to questioning what I am suppose to do next. My faith exists with unknowns. I wrestle with issues. I don't doubt my faith, I just don't understand how it always works. Faith is not a guarantee that you will have all of the answers (actually I feel I have less definites now than several years ago), but you have to trust the one who is going to catch you. One final quote from the book:

• The last words used to describe the disciples in the gospel of Matthew - our last glimpse of men who followed Jesus for three years, learned from him, and saw him crucified and resurrected: "Then the eleven disciples went to...the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted" (Matthew 28:16-17) This is an amazing picture. They have seen him, listened to him, followed him, studied him, and seen him crucified and ressurected - and the last thing we read about them is "and some doubted." Matthew doesn't cover this up. He points it out.

Sharing your life...sort of

Had an interesting conversation with a friend mine recently about his view on relationships. He is in a very public position as a pastor so he as all sorts of people who think they know him. Because of this he has been come even more guarded in who he develops friendships with. He stated that he really doesn't have the desire or need for any new people to be close to him. He shares things happening in his life in his messages and therefore people think they know him well so he has become skeptical of people's motives, power trips, etc. and doesn't really let many people in. I can't relate to this at all. I love getting to know people on that deeper level. Knowing what makes up their story and has shaped who they are today. Sharing at that level is kind of the safe way in my opinion. This last weekend, I was in a setting with about 25 people. We were discussing things and I decided to share some of where I am at regarding leadership. The thing is that I realized that though I was vulnerable in why I question my leadership role, etc. I wasn't really risking much in sharing. I controlled the environment. I could leave out pieces of the puzzle. If it had been a one on one situation or smaller setting, questions probing what I meant could have been asked. Don't read this wrong, I think there is value in sharing in the larger settings, but if that is the only place you share part of your heart, I think you are missing out. Contrast that situation with later that night I was talking with a close friend who was able to ask the deeper questions about where I am at in life right now and challenge me. I think we need some of both. Even this blog only reveals part of who I am. I share a lot of my thoughts here, but those 4 or 5 people who I do life with see even more of me (whether that is good or bad you would have to ask them). Find those people who make up your community and jump into life together. Don't settle for the lite side of doing life together. Risk being vulnerable and transparent and really share your life with some other people. I don't think you will regret it.

What does your soul long for?

Do you ever stop and wonder what it is your soul really longs for? Things seem to be running by so fast these days that it is rare that we stop and listen... really listen. Since I've been living the nomad life the last couple of weeks (Can't imagine wandering in the desert for 40 years!), I've had lots of time to just be quiet. It is kind of unsettling at first to have so much quiet time especially when I am use to lots of noise around our house. During that time of slowing down, I've begun to sift through the things that my soul really longs for and trying to compare it to things that God's heart longs for. Unfortunately they aren't always the same, but I know that he isn't finished with me yet. The way he is refining those things is through the circumstances I encounter and through the people who are shaping me. Talking to a friend last night and he mentioned the scripture that talks about how iron sharpens iron. I definitely understand and appreciate that so much. The friends who have helped shape the rough spots of my life and help my come closer to having the heart of Jesus. What dreams has God placed on your heart? What place in your soul is waiting to be filled? How do we do this thing that we have been called to live out? It is a process that takes place day by day through our everyday routine. Take the time to stop and listen. Take the time to ask others. Never stop being a learner.

Thoughts that capture where I am at these days

Ran across the following quotes on one of the blogs I try to occassionally read:

• We've got to get to the place where we believe Jesus is absolutely right about absolutely everything.
• If you're not ticking off religious people you're not following Christ. Can't have a reformation without offending a few Pharisees along the way!
• 50% of our church budgets ought to go to the "the least of these" Our we putting our money where our mouth is?
• Truth that only makes it into our head is informational. But truth that penetrates the heart is transformational. Reformation isn't the byproduct of good ideas. It's the byproduct of deeply held convictions.
• Christianity has become a way of thought instead of a way of life. We've created a culture of where we know more and do less all the while thinking we're growing spiritually.
• If you don't change you become part of the problem.

I have been thinking recently a lot about how we do things as a church (locally, not as in the big picture this time) and several of the above sum up my thoughts of what we need to do or change pretty well. I don't ever want to settle for the status quo, but also don't just want change for change sake. Radical and different - I am more and more okay with those being used to describe me. Actually, I hope those are the kinds of words that people use to describe my faith. I don't want to run over people with new changes, but I also don't want to wait for a long time for everyone to get on board either. I don't want to be part of the problem, but I do need to become part of the solution. Ready for an adventure? I am feeling some change is coming our way if the radicals of the church start living it out. Are you a radical?

Lost art of time

Something I've noticed recently is that people don't have the time for conversation and just to hang out and enjoy each other's company. We always seem to be on an overbooked schedule. Watching our watches, checking our text messages, trying to get to our next meeting on our schedule but not really slowing down enough to be in the place where we are at currently. One of the things I really enjoyed about getting to know my friend from Vegas was that we didn't have to hurry our conversation. We were able to hang out for 6 or 7 hours and talk. Not rushed, not an hour slot to try to fit in a conversation, but just time to enjoy hanging out and do things together. We were away from our calendars and our normal routines. For me relationships are a big part of my life, but it is hard to develop those when you are trying to fit it in for an hour on someones calendar. I know that sometimes that is the just a season of life, but it seems to me that is more a lifestyle than just a season for most people. We've lost the art of being together. Kind of reflects the way that society as whole is dysfunctional in its' relationships. Relationships don't happen in the forced confines of an hour, but as you spend time around each other doing life. My wife asked me the other day what I wanted for my birthday and it got me thinking that the thing I most want is time. I don't want another new gadget or something that a year from now will be out of style, but time spent with good friends is what I really enjoy. It seems to have become one of those MasterCard priceless items. The funny thing to me is that time should be one of the easiest things to give, but for most people today it is one of the hardest things to come by. Why are we running so fast and running by those people in our lives? Time to slow down and invest in something that matters - other people. Hope you have an incredible, relaxing day spent with the important people in your life. Make the time, it is so worth it!