Make footprints worth following

Noticed on our refrigerator this morning a red ribbon that had the quote "Make footprints worth following." It was from the boys' Red Ribbon week (a drug awareness campaign) at school. It got me thinking that should be our theme through life. The reality is that we are making footprints, the question is are they worth following? I may try to convince myself at times that the choices I make in life don't effect anyone but myself but or are insignificant but really I am leaving a trail of my choices that will impact someone. I can look at my life and see the times when I have clearly followed someone else's footprints and realize that my path also will be followed and run alongside others. So how do you make ones worth following? For me it requires constant examination of my motives and choices along with friends who will tell me when my path is heading in a wrong direction. I desire the warning signs from those close to me that my trail is not making a path worth following or that I am going in the right direction. Can't tell what type of footprints you are leaving ask someone close to you? We are leaving them and people do notice. Make them worth following.

Push and pull of life

I feel I live in the in between of life. Never fully on one side but consistently in the tension of the middle of things. Kind of like the title of the book I am reading - "Faith & Doubt". Not only in the middle of those two items but also between change & consistentency, radical & conforming, leader & follower, transparent & fake, and probably several more. Maybe it is just my Jekyll and Hyde personality or as I tell my wife I think I might by schizophrenic. One day I have radical ideas and authentic relationships and then the next day I question whether those ideas even make sense and wonder if those relationships were ever real. This is where I live. Rarely fully content, but questioning and thinking through things (maybe even a little too much). For me I think this is what it means to be in this world, but not of it. I have questions, relationship holes, etc. that only God can fill. I want those filled and get tastes of them occasionally but never fully satisfied. The good thing is that tension is constantly shaping and refining who I am. I understand when people say "yeah, but you aren't like most people" (heard that one this morning) and know that tomorrow I will probably be even a little bit more different. Most of the time I am okay with that, other times I question why I am like this. This is where I live right now between the push and pull of life. If you don't live in this tension right now, enjoy the beauty of the moment. Be fully where you are at and thank God. If on the other hand you can relate to this tension, know that you are being shaped and that at least for today I can understand where you are at.

Things on my mind today

Been a long but interesting week. Here are few random thoughts as I reflect on the week so far.

• Glad I ventured out and started a conversation this week with a stranger. Not my normal comfort zone but I think this is an area I am growing in right now. I've met lots of new people recently and really enjoy it. Not sure how that works with my desire to take friendships to a deep level, but just another area of tension I will wrestle with.


• Decided I am wimp. Had the opportunity to share my passion for Christ last night and didn't take it because the enivronment wasn't favorable. What would it have cost me other than some uncomfortable conversation? Time to man up. Hard to say that I would die for Jesus when I didn't even risk being uncomfortable around some co-workers.


• Realized again how important it is to be surrounded by people who will encourage and build you up. If I hadn't had the opportunity to be around a couple of those people this week, it would have been a very draining week. Don't know how people do it without having a community around them.


• If you have a vice of any kind, you probably shouldn't spend much time in Vegas alone. There is a reason it is called Sin City.


• Love the mountains. Manage to hike at Red Rock Canyon three times this week (maybe a fourth today). A couple of those times were a good chance to slow down and try to hear God. Good to have Him take a look at my heart.


• Ready to be home and spend some time with my family. Don't understand how people travel all the time for their jobs. I like to travel and see new places, but think it would get real old real fast if I did it all of the time.

Just a few of the things bouncing around in my tired mind today. Take a few minutes and reflect on your week. Have you seen God move in it? Have you found out something about yourself? Good to stop and reflect every so often in this 100 mph world we live in.

Convictions

Had the chance to make it back out to Red Rock Canyon to do a little more hiking/rock climbing yesterday. It was nice to sit on the top of the Calico rocks (Red Rock and Calico are my two favorite areas to hike and climb) and just be quiet. You are surrounded by so much noise and action on the strip that it was a good change of pace for me. Gave me a little chance to reflect on what I've been reading out of John Ortberg's book "Faith & Doubt".

He was talking about the 3 different types of convictions we have. The first one is public convictions (think politicians for this one). This is what I want other people to think I believe, even though I may not really believe them. These are the things we say out loud. If you ask someone what their convictions are in life these are the ones you will hear. They may be the same as the other two convictions but not necessarily. The second one is private convictions. These are the things I sincerely think I believe, but turns out they may be fickle. These are the convictions that we believe, but find out we may not really believe them when our circumstances change. The final one is our core convictions. These are the ones that are revealed by our daily actions. They show by what we actually do. They basically can be summarized by the convictions we say, think and reveal. The last one is the one that I want to focus on in my life. What does the way I live reveal about my convictions? To those of you who know me, I would love your feedback on this. Is there a connect between the the things I say and believe and the way I actually live out life? As I stated in an earlier blog, Vegas is a great place to reveal what people's core convictions are. I have seen people who in Tulsa state certain convictions, but those don't match what I see here. My desire it to line these three up as much as possible with the way that Jesus lived. Ortberg talked about the "mental map" we have (the way things really are and the way life really works). For Jesus these were the same thing. That is where I want to be that my convictions are the way that things really are. Good thoughts to sort through while having a fantastic view of the surrounding mountains and the strip from my spot on the the top of the mountain. Gives renewed meaning to a mountaintop experience.

Thoughts from another world

Read this quote from Madeleine L'Engle in John Ortberg's new book that made me stop and think

Those who believe they believe in God

but without passion in the heart, without anguish of mind,

without uncertainty, without doubt, and even at times without despair,

believe only in the idea of God, and not in God himself.

Like that quote a lot because I often have doubts and uncertainty. I think I know what God desires but often question the way it all works. My doubts and questions often lead to a deeper faith in God because I can't wrap my mind around it.

Some random thoughts from the last couple of days:

• Want to know what a person is really like? Take a trip to Vegas with them. Since anything seems to be fair game here, people tend to bring out into the open the things they normally think or do in private. Interesting things to learn about people and yourself.
• If the money that was spent by people in Vegas in one night was put towards some of the bigger global issues like clean water in Africa or aids, I think a huge impact could be made globally.
• People that are drunk aren't nearly as funny as they think they are. Would love to video tape some people and play it back to them a couple days later. They just don't get it.
• Recommend John Ortberg's new book "Faith & Doubt". Like the open and transparent feel of the book. Good topics to discuss.
• Think my personality is changing somewhat over the last several months. Maybe not changing but parts are coming out more. Seem to be more passionate about things (probably the result of being free from the stress I was under at my old job) and venturing into new areas of interest. Love the diverse influences in my life right now.
• Not sure how anybody finds the information at tax training "amazing". Heard several comments like that yesterday and had to laugh. Seriously? This is amazing to people? I think they need to get a life.

Well those are a few of my thoughts from the other planet I am living on this week.