Costly assumptions

We assume that others want the same things we want. We assume that others see and process things the same way we do.

You want to climb the corporate ladder and are willing to sacrifice time and energy to move up it. You assume that everyone else is motivated by the same goals and defines success the same way.

You are spontaneous and enjoy having an open agenda that allows you to just go with the flow. You don't like structure and assume everyone else thrives in the same environment.

You value quality time and just want to hang out and talk. You assume that is energizing for everyone else as well.

None of these are bad, but it isn't the way everyone thinks. We assume the way we process things is where everyone else starts out as well and that can be costly. Those assumptions could burn people out, drive away the people who enjoy structure and cost a friendship.

Sometimes we need to walk in someone elses shoes. Try to understand where they are coming from. Ask lots of questions to understand what motivates them and how they are wired. It may be similar or it may be very different from you. If you are different, neither way is necessarily better than the other, but you have to work at understanding how they see things. We've got to lose the assumptions. The assumption that we are right and everyone else is wrong. The assumption that our way is the only way. The arrogance that comes from assuming we are the norm and anything different is just weird. We have to stop assuming before the costs gets too high.

It will take hard work. It will take admitting we are wrong sometimes. It will take humility and sacrificing the need to have it our way. To quit assuming may be tough to do, but you know what they say happens when you assume... it may just make an ASS out of U and ME.