Observations from my world

Mentally I have switched into holiday mode. Thoughts bouncing around, people that I want to spend time with, and ready to unwind from the normal routine. So a few of the random things bouncing around in my thoughts. Some maybe insightful, others that just struck me.

• I was behind a normal looking white pickup truck that had the following on its tailgate - Construction vehicle do not follow. So to what extreme do I take that rule? I was behind him on the street so technically I was following him. What are the consequences now that I was following him? Really, have they had a bunch of people following them that they needed to warn people about it? And is that an effective way to warn people - don't do _______ (fill in the blank). Don't think that argument has ever once convinced me to not do something. (Not real good at following rules anyway. Even if I know the purpose.) Wonder what other random instructions we can put on the back of our vehicles - Give me cash? Wonder if that will prompt people to obey it and hand me loads of money. May be worth looking into.
• When you are having a discussion with someone, try this the next time. Simply state - "you're wrong" when they have finished explaining it to you. Odds are they will simply restate, or maybe just repeat, what they just said before. We think if we repeat something, or say it louder, or with more emphasis that it will suddenly convince them to see that we are right. Wonder if instead we simply asked "why?" to their statement of "you're wrong", if we may actually learn something and move forward?
• I enjoy having conversation with people who see things clearly as black or white. You know those people who say a movie is incredible or horrible. Nothing in between. Often the same ones who clearly state their opinion as a fact. It is simple to them - just agree with them and you are brilliant, otherwise, you just don't get it. I more often than not see things as gray, so to the black and white people, I have lots of questions. Questions that may drive them nuts. Not trying to be a pain (well, sometimes I am), but just don't understand how things can always be so clean cut for them. The are few things that I can clearly state as black and white. I don't think I am wishy-washy either (Am I?), just not ready to say that I couldn't possibly be wrong about something.
• I laugh to myself when someone thinks they have me figured out. Funny because I don't understand me half of the time, so if you have me pegged in a certain box, more likely than not, I will do something outside of that at some point.

Hope everyone has a great Christmas! Enjoy the slower pace and time with your family and friends. Find the time to have some good conversations and catch you again after Christmas (maybe even before, but no guarantees).

Brainstorming

Do bad ideas scare you? Are you frozen by the thought of coming up with a plan that might not work? Does it have to be perfect before you launch the idea?

I love brainstorming. The process of coming up with ideas to attack a problem. Lots of ideas, some bad, some good and some great. The thing is though a lot of people only want to discuss the great. I get that, but usually there are a lot of "bad" ones before getting to that great one. The part of brainstorming I like best is that it involves others. See I might come up with a good idea once in a great while, but with a group the chance that we come up with a great idea is a lot better. Oh, there might be a lot of ideas that get tossed to the side in the process, but we each play a part in refining the idea. Never understood the leader who doesn't bring in others as part of the team. Others take offense if their "perfect" idea gets thrown out. It scares them to the point of shutting down. They get bogged down in the details and start arguing their idea without listening. I want to hold on loosely to my ideas. Some that I think might be really good ones, turn out to be bad. That's okay because it is a process to find the best, not about me coming up with the perfect idea.

So are you tentative with your ideas? Do you wait until you have all of your ducks in row before tossing an idea out? Do bad ideas scare you? Wonder how many bad ideas we need to sort through before we find the right one?

One step after another

"Watch your thoughts they become words. Watch your words they become actions. Watch your actions they become habits. Watch your habits they become character. Watch your character it becomes your destiny." - Patrick Overton

It is a path. One step leading to another. The habit you are trying to break started somewhere as a thought. Then you gave voice to that thought. Then you acted on it. Now it is a habit. Will it become part of your character? But what if instead of a bad habit you want to develop a good one. It starts with the thought. Maybe the character you want to develop is already a thought you have. Now give it a voice. What action does it require you to take? How does it become a habit that will develop the character you desire? We don't just happen to end up at our destiny one day, we are choosing it with each step along the way. What step are you going to take today? Maybe it requires a step in another direction or maybe you are on the path you want to be, the path leads somewhere, you get to choose the direction though.

The event that is changing my world

18 years ago today an event took place that changed my life - our wedding. After 18 years, I am still learning the process of marriage. It continues to require my attention and as much attention to the details today as when it started way back then. I still like to date my wife. I like talking to her late at night about the important things and stuff I find amusing. Those things haven't changed, but our dates may look different today and the topics we cover have changed (Well some of them. I tend to cycle on some of my conversations and probably what I find amusing is still pretty similar to back then. Though I may voice it more now.) We have continued to change and grow through those years and our marriage continues to grow as well. I chose to love my wife way back then and I choose to continue to love her today. (I would say "fell in love", but that makes it sound like an accident. I choose to love her.)

Looking back at our wedding is a little strange. Our flower girls and ring bearer will graduate from college this next year. I am still good friends with one of my groomsmen, while Lisa continues to have a great friendship with her maid of honor. I watched as two of my groomsmen went through divorces and then slowly lost contact with them. Many of the people who were there have filtered out of our lives, others continue to be a large part of it. We have developed new friendships, had three incredible boys, lived through multiple job changes, had a variety of ups and downs that life has thrown at us during the 18 years since our wedding. The thing is, I am still madly in love with the woman I said "I do" to all of those years ago. Marriage is an adventure that takes place over the years. The wedding ceremony that occurred 18 years ago was just the start to that adventure. Can't wait to see where the adventure takes us next. I am just glad that I get to experience it with my wife.

Critic vs. appreciative

What is your mindset? Are you the critic? The person who sees flaws in any plan, can point out several things that need to be fixed, notices the issues in others. Or is your mindset one of appreciation? Do you see the potential in the plan, notice the things that work well, see the positives of those around you? Last night we had the chance to share with part of our church staff and their families how we appreciate them. The chance to verbally confirm them and share with them the incredible impact we see them making. It is one of the best working teams that I've seen. A mutual respect for each other's strengths and what they can bring to the table. Easy to come up with a list of things we appreciate in them.

We knew ahead of time (they didn't) that would be part of the evening. It allowed us the chance to reflect and think about the many day to day things they do that we appreciate. Made me wonder if other meetings couldn't be like that. What if the next meeting I attended, I took time before hand to think about the things I appreciate in the people going to be there and what we are trying to accomplish? What if going in, I was already thankful for the various personalities, strengths and insights that would be there? Wonder if my mindset going into the meeting was that of appreciation instead of critic, if that would change how the meeting went? Instead of finding the flaws, what if we focused on the positives. A simple change in my mindset could make a difference. What is the difficult thing you are dealing with? Could a change of mindset make a positive impact there? To me it seems like it might be worth the work ahead of time to change from critical to thankful.

Events and the costs of love

I read the following quote on Seth Godin's blog - "It's a process, not an event." He mentions that dating is a process. So is losing weight. Events are a one time occurrence, like having surgery or a wedding ceremony. Events we can manage. We get excited about them and prepare for them because it is one moment in time. Processes are building for the long term. It is a daily exercise that is moving us towards something in the future. I wonder how often we treat our faith like an event instead of a process? It isn't a one time decision, it is process. Kind of like losing weight it is day by day decisions. I think we are often guilty of making being a Christian sound easy. We say It is a decision we make, but really it a process of pursuing being more like Jesus every day. Not an event. Not easy. A tough process that will produce results, but it may be a long time in getting there.

Here is what I've been wrestling with since last night. I John 3:17-18 says "If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." So the question I've been trying to answer is this. How have I loved in such a way that has cost me anything? Is our love merely nice words to someone, but we don't do anything about it? Those actions will most likely cost me money, time or giving something of myself. What is your love costing you? If we answer that nothing, then are we really showing love?

Starting with the end in mind

It is getting close to Christmas (late spoiler alert if you weren't already aware of that fact). Christmas seems to eventually (after surviving black Friday, fighting the annoying holiday traffic, stressing over what gifts to buy, the non-stop Christmas parties, etc.) bring people to think about a little baby in a manger. Most people are aware of the story, but what we seem to forget is that it all started with the end in mind. We focus on the cute little baby, but forget it was for Him to be a sacrifice, a beaten and bloody Savior, that He came.

I've had the chance to hold a couple of adorable little babies recently. They are incredibly precious and it is amazing to consider the way they have already grown. It blows my mind to think of all of the intrinsic things that happen as a baby grows even before the delivery. Amazing stuff!

No matter how incredibly cute we were as babies though that isn't what people remember about us. See it is about how we finish. It is the daily choices we make as we grow. I wonder if we kept asking the question - how will that effect the ending? - if we would live our lives differently. We want to pretend that the choice we make today doesn't effect anything, but reality is that each choice moves us in a direction. Each of those steps is moving us toward our end. What do you want your ending to look like? How do you want to be remembered? Will each choice you make today move you in that direction? Are you starting with the end in mind? If not, then it will be pretty difficult to arrive there.