Loyalty vs. the bus

I have three very different boys. Their personalities, interests, taste, you name it and it is probably different for each one of them. One of the things that they do have in common, and one of the things I love, is that they are loyal to a fault. Each of them are loyal to their friends. Now they each do it in their own way that fits who they are, but they stand by their friends. The oldest one is still close with friends he met 10 years ago in preschool and kindergarten. Once a friend, always a friend is his motto. He is a collector of friends, always willing to add to the collection. The middle one has a smaller circle of friends, but is extremely loyal to those select few. He wants to spend his free time with that one who is his best friend. The youngest one never meets a stranger. Fifteen minutes after meeting someone at the park, he wants to invite them over to the house. A wider circle of friends, but very loyal to two or three that he always wants to be doing something with.

I hope they never grow out of that. One of the observations I have made recently is that as adults, instead of loyalty, it looks more like Survivor. Alliances of convenience are made. It helps them get what they want and then when it comes down to it, they are willing to throw you under the bus to get ahead. It is hard to trust someone who is willing to throw you under the bus. Loyalty doesn't seem to apply anymore.

I know there is still loyalty in friendships, I have experienced it. It just seems more rare as you become an adult. I wonder if it is because loyalty often comes from vulnerability? When I trust someone enough to let them see the cracks in my life, the things I struggle with, the transparency of who I am and they still stand by me that creates loyalty. A person who knows how imperfect I am and still chooses to be there defines loyalty. It is the being there through the good and the bad.

Do you feel like you are always a step away from being voted off the island? Do you wonder if you will be thrown under the bus so that they can look better? Are you willing to risk vulnerability? Are you loyal? Some things we should never grow out of.