Ever have one of those moments where you start off thinking about one thing and then a few minutes later you realize you have traveled a great distance in your thoughts and not sure how you got there exactly. Happened to me this morning as I was driving into work. I was reflecting on one of the roles I've served in the last several years that I've decided to step out of. My thoughts were swirling around that when a name popped into my head. Not sure how it was connected to what I had been thinking about before, but that lead to me thinking about another person. Before I knew it I had come up with a list of about 50 names. It was a little overwhelming as the names kept coming to my mind as one connection lead to another name who lead to a connection to another person.
Some of the guys I hadn't thought about in years. Some of them I talk to regularly. Some I had the opportunity to be involved with for only a short period, others I got to spend years getting to know. Some inspire me, others make my heart break. When I talk to some of them we pick up like no time has passed between conversations, with others it is awkward. They are spread throughout all walks of life. Some are in college, some are artistic, some are involved in business, some aren't headed anywhere, some are involved in missions, some I've lost track of and don't know what they are doing now. The list of names that flooded my mind this morning are the guys that I've had the privilege to invest in while the were high school students over the last 20 years. Each is unique and I often wondered how we ever connected. (A similar theme runs through most of my friends.) Some are close friends, some I see every couple of years and get to catch up with them, others I haven't talked to in a long while, but regardless of where they are at now, they impacted my life. Yeah, I was the one supposedly investing in their lives, but I am the one it changed. It changed how I love and serve others, it taught me to be more transparent, it taught me loving isn't always easy, it showed me that people can change (sometimes bringing unexpected joy and other times causing gut wrenching sorrow), it has shown me what pursuing Jesus looks like, it has been a wild and unexpected ride.
Maybe the change in thoughts this morning wasn't so random. Maybe it was a gentle reminder that even though some things may be changing, I am still called to invest in others. My life is going to impact others. That is a given. The question is will I do it intentionally and with a purpose or just let it happen. Another given is that you are also impacting others. Maybe not in the same way that I do, but still your life collides with others every day. You have a unique opportunity to make an impact in that other person's life. It may be only for a season or it may be over a lifetime, but it is your chance to invest in something more than yourself. What are you going to do with your opportunities? What will your list of names look like? What stories will you be a part of? It is your choice.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
The pursuit of happiness
"I have often wished that Jefferson had not used that phrase 'the pursuit of happiness' as the third right... I would rather he had written, 'life, liberty and the pursuit of meaningfulness' or 'integrity' or 'truth." I know that happiness has been the real, if covert, goal of your labors here. I know that it informs your choice of companions, the profession you will enter. But I urge you, please do not settle for happiness. It's not good enough. Personal success devoid of meaningfulness, free of steady commitment to social justice - that's more than a barren life; it's a trivial one. It's looking good instead of doing good." - Toni Morrison speaking to the 2011 graduating class at the State university of New Jersey.
Don't know if the students were paying attention (come on, how many people actually listen to the graduation speeches?), but man, those are some profound and powerful words. How often do we settle for happiness? We look for what makes us happy, when we should be looking for so much more. Are you content being happy? Are you content with a life that may look good on the outside, but doesn't have much substance? Why do we chase the trivial when there are so many important things we could be chasing?
I've settled for happy more often than I care to admit. As long as things are good for me then I don't need to pursue much else. What would it look like if we pursued a life of meaning, or integrity or truth instead of our own selfishness? Pursuit isn't just some casual walk. It is a life focused on a goal. It is intentional, not just when we get around to it. Would my life be about more than just looking good if integrity and righteousness were my focus from the time I woke up in the morning until I finally went to sleep at night?
What are you pursuing? Does it have meaning or is it just another trivial pursuit? What are you letting shape your choices - happiness or something more?
Don't know if the students were paying attention (come on, how many people actually listen to the graduation speeches?), but man, those are some profound and powerful words. How often do we settle for happiness? We look for what makes us happy, when we should be looking for so much more. Are you content being happy? Are you content with a life that may look good on the outside, but doesn't have much substance? Why do we chase the trivial when there are so many important things we could be chasing?
I've settled for happy more often than I care to admit. As long as things are good for me then I don't need to pursue much else. What would it look like if we pursued a life of meaning, or integrity or truth instead of our own selfishness? Pursuit isn't just some casual walk. It is a life focused on a goal. It is intentional, not just when we get around to it. Would my life be about more than just looking good if integrity and righteousness were my focus from the time I woke up in the morning until I finally went to sleep at night?
What are you pursuing? Does it have meaning or is it just another trivial pursuit? What are you letting shape your choices - happiness or something more?
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Undeserved and unappreciated
Grace... it's one of those words I don't understand. I mean I know the definition and I can understand it theoretically, but I just can't get my mind totally around it.
When I receive it, I want to try and earn it. Which can't be done. It is free and undeserved. It is a gift and simply can't be earned. I wonder if that is why it is so hard to receive? It doesn't depend on me in any way, but is totally undeserved.
Giving it to others is also hard. I want to put conditions on it. Make it available only if you jump through certain hoops. To expect nothing and to give it away requires a selfless attitude. It is a gift that may not be appreciated or even wanted. It may be treated as worthless or not even noticed. It is hard to give away a gift without it being acknowledge, but if I do it to be acknowledge, then it really isn't free.
Grace is priceless, but we treat it so cheaply. We want it given to us, but are hardly willing to give it to others. I want to move from knowing about it and learn to cherish the gift it is. How have you experienced grace? How are you living graciously in others lives?
Grace... I am so thankful for it even though I don't understand it.
When I receive it, I want to try and earn it. Which can't be done. It is free and undeserved. It is a gift and simply can't be earned. I wonder if that is why it is so hard to receive? It doesn't depend on me in any way, but is totally undeserved.
Giving it to others is also hard. I want to put conditions on it. Make it available only if you jump through certain hoops. To expect nothing and to give it away requires a selfless attitude. It is a gift that may not be appreciated or even wanted. It may be treated as worthless or not even noticed. It is hard to give away a gift without it being acknowledge, but if I do it to be acknowledge, then it really isn't free.
Grace is priceless, but we treat it so cheaply. We want it given to us, but are hardly willing to give it to others. I want to move from knowing about it and learn to cherish the gift it is. How have you experienced grace? How are you living graciously in others lives?
Grace... I am so thankful for it even though I don't understand it.
Monday, June 6, 2011
The effects of whine
Ever been around that person who always has something negative to say? Ever been around the person who can find something to complain about no matter how good things are? It is draining. Draining to be around that person and also draining to be that person. It takes a lot of energy to be perpetually unhappy. To be on the constant look out for things that aren't ideal for you.
The squeaky wheel mentality may be beneficial in the work place, but it doesn't translate well to the rest of or lives. The squeaky wheel may get their way, but at what cost? The cost of friendships, the cost of tearing apart the team, the cost of killing dreams... how long can we be absorbed with ourselves at the expense of others?
I was having a conversation a couple of weeks ago and the person jokingly said "Okay, let's take the focus off of you just for a minute". Ouch! But that is the reality of whining. It is all about you. The definition of being selfish. The negative attitude, the entitlement, the perception that all things should be as you want them, the whining until we get our way, the temper tantrum (it looks even worse on an adult than when you see a 3 year old doing it)... there is only one way to really fight it... being willing to serve in love. Serving means taking our eyes off of ourselves and looking to someone else's best interest. It may not feel natural and that is part of the point. We are naturally selfish, but unselfishness is counter-cultural.
The effects of whine are subtle. If you are reading this and thinking so and so needs to read this. Be careful because you may be the whiner waiting on an intervention to happen. There is a place to be critical and look for improvements. There is a time to challenge things. But can you honestly say it is in the best interest of others or is it about you?
The squeaky wheel mentality may be beneficial in the work place, but it doesn't translate well to the rest of or lives. The squeaky wheel may get their way, but at what cost? The cost of friendships, the cost of tearing apart the team, the cost of killing dreams... how long can we be absorbed with ourselves at the expense of others?
I was having a conversation a couple of weeks ago and the person jokingly said "Okay, let's take the focus off of you just for a minute". Ouch! But that is the reality of whining. It is all about you. The definition of being selfish. The negative attitude, the entitlement, the perception that all things should be as you want them, the whining until we get our way, the temper tantrum (it looks even worse on an adult than when you see a 3 year old doing it)... there is only one way to really fight it... being willing to serve in love. Serving means taking our eyes off of ourselves and looking to someone else's best interest. It may not feel natural and that is part of the point. We are naturally selfish, but unselfishness is counter-cultural.
The effects of whine are subtle. If you are reading this and thinking so and so needs to read this. Be careful because you may be the whiner waiting on an intervention to happen. There is a place to be critical and look for improvements. There is a time to challenge things. But can you honestly say it is in the best interest of others or is it about you?
Sunday, June 5, 2011
The rhythm of rest
How do you rest? Do you ever think about it? We seem to be concerned with the next thing on our list, but rarely do we make time for resting. (Maybe we need to put it on our lists.) For me in the past, it has been about going full speed until I collapse. Trying to get everything done on the list. The thing is the list is never complete. There is always one more thing (or person) demanding my attention. Screaming it's importance and needing to be done now. So off we run to the next thing without ever slowing down to rest.
For me resting includes being with friends. Having time to talk or play and have fun. It might come in a variety of ways and look different depending on who I am with, but it means moving away from doing and simply enjoying just being. It doesn't mean once I get everything else completed; it means in the midst of the craziness of life. An hour or two to hang out with a friend over coffee (which I still don't drink even though I have spent enormous amounts of time at coffee shops) or playing Frisbee golf on a Saturday morning or getting beat at tennis once again. It is spending time talking with my wife once the boys have gone to bed. It is playing cards with friends and enjoying good conversation and laughter. It may be serving someone or finding time to just listen. Rest is vital, but something we don't do very well.
So when will you intentionally rest this week? When will you commit to slowing down enough to enjoy what is around you? There is meant to be a rhythm to our lives and part of that is resting. Also I have learned that when I rest well, then the other things on the list are lot easier to accomplish. I remember my brother-in-law stating it this way, we should work out of our rest instead of resting from our work. What is your ideal way to rest? Now go put it on your list and make the time for doing it.
For me resting includes being with friends. Having time to talk or play and have fun. It might come in a variety of ways and look different depending on who I am with, but it means moving away from doing and simply enjoying just being. It doesn't mean once I get everything else completed; it means in the midst of the craziness of life. An hour or two to hang out with a friend over coffee (which I still don't drink even though I have spent enormous amounts of time at coffee shops) or playing Frisbee golf on a Saturday morning or getting beat at tennis once again. It is spending time talking with my wife once the boys have gone to bed. It is playing cards with friends and enjoying good conversation and laughter. It may be serving someone or finding time to just listen. Rest is vital, but something we don't do very well.
So when will you intentionally rest this week? When will you commit to slowing down enough to enjoy what is around you? There is meant to be a rhythm to our lives and part of that is resting. Also I have learned that when I rest well, then the other things on the list are lot easier to accomplish. I remember my brother-in-law stating it this way, we should work out of our rest instead of resting from our work. What is your ideal way to rest? Now go put it on your list and make the time for doing it.
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