Concealment or confession

Why is confessing our sins so difficult?  For me the answer lies in my image.  Confessing means I bring out into the open the things that I struggle with, the sin that is in my life, the areas that I suck at... it shatters the nice little image I have in my head of having it all together.  It is awkward to start a conversation that requires my confession.  There is no easy way to transition into it.  And I think all of that is part of why we are told to confess.

Concealing our sin is about us and protecting our image.  Confession requires humility.  It means we have to sacrifice our egos and put our pursuit of Jesus as our only focus.  We realize we can't do it on our own.  Grace follows our willingness to be humble.  When we conceal our sins, we basically tell God we don't need His grace or trust Him to take care of us.  It is once again about us.

I see there being two steps to confessing.  The first is to lay it out before God.  For me this is the easier one.  He knows my thoughts, he knows who I am in the dark, he already knows the sins that I have done.  This step is matter of confessing to someone who already knows what I am there to talk about.  It is the first step to realigning myself with pursuing Jesus and a life that reflects righteousness and holiness.  It is tough because it shines a spotlight on the huge difference between what my life looks like compared to what Jesus has called us to live, but I know his love and grace will come easily.  The second step is confessing to someone else.  This is where the image is shattered for me.  To actually admit the ugliness that is in me.  To open myself up to correction.  To humbly admit I can't do it on my own.  This is where it moves from nice theory to the tough practical.  It may mean that I actually have to change.  Someone else knows my secrets and the sin that I have worked so hard to hide.  It no longer means just confessing to God when I sin again, but also that someone may ask me some very specific questions that will be awkward and tough to answer.

The strange thing to me is that everything in me yells to keep it to myself.  It isn't that big of deal.  I can handle it on my own.  They are busy with their own lives.  They will think less of me.  But the reality for me is that some of the people I most admire are those who have those tough conversations.  They live a life with humility that I want my life to look like.  They understand grace in a deeper way.  They are the ones who I see pursuing Jesus with their whole life.  They are the ones I look up to and want to model my life after.

So that is the choice we have with our sin, we can either confess it or try to conceal it.  There isn't a choice that lies in the middle.  What are you choosing today?  If it is to confess, then do it now.  Don't wait until it is convenient because it will never be that.  Don't wait until you have your life a little more together because we never have it all together.  Don't wait until you have the time, find someone and start that awkward conversation now.  Concealment or confession... it is your choice.