Investments of a lifetime

I've started this blog about five different times this morning.  Sorting through different thoughts and trying to find some common thread running through these seemingly contradictory ideas.  What I've landed on as the common thread of my thoughts this morning is that they are about people I've invested in.  Some who I don't see very often, but the conversations start as if there hasn't been any gap in time.  Some who encourage so naturally and others that seem to only find  faults.  Some who will call, e-mail or text every so often just to see what is going on and others who put little effort into our friendship or have walked away.  Some who are pursuing Jesus with their entire lives while others have found other things to chase after and have become more part-time fans of Jesus.  Some who I want to be more like.  Some who I am already too much like.

That is the funny thing about the people in your life... you never really know what you are getting into until you jump in.  It will be messy.  It might hurt.  It might challenge you.  It might be what helps keep your sanity intact.  It may be someone who encourages you as you grow.  It may be someone who drains your time and energy.  It may be someone who appreciates you or someone who takes you for granted.  It might be a person who helps make you a better person.  It might be someone who drags you down.  You have to jump in to find out the possibilities.

I've been thinking about 4 or 5 different people this morning.  A couple of them I am looking forward to spending some time with in the near future.  Chris and Jeff have been there through a lot of years.  We don't get to see each other very often as my brother-in-law lives in Atlanta and Jeff in Taiwan.  If I was to pick who I am most like in personality and the way I process things, these two would differently be at the top of that list.  I almost always walk away encouraged when I spend time with either of them, whether it is just hanging out together or spending time talking about the deeper things in life.  They are two guys who reflect what following Jesus looks like and whose advice I seek out.

Then there are a couple of guys who seem to point out all that is wrong with the world.  They definitely see the glass at least half empty and who drain me mentally in their theoretical discussions about the things in life.  The conversations revolve around what is important to them.  Then there are those who just don't have time.  They have busy lives and honestly a friendship ranks somewhere below their job, their family, their favorite sports teams and the other things going on in their lives.  It is a friendship on the side.

The thing is that I fall into all of those at some point.  I bring all of my insecurities, my baggage, my encouragement, my negativity, my thoughts, my priorities... my messiness into those friendships as well.  The thing is we are supposed to go through life together.  The good, the bad, the ugly... it is all part of the package.  Who are you sharing life with?  Trying to man up and do it by yourself?  It doesn't work.  Investing in others comes with risk, but doesn't anything that is worth pursuing?  You've got 24 hours today, what will you do with it?

Are you willing to dream?

"There are no impossible dreams, just our limited perception of what is possible"

Don't know where this quote originated, but it is money.  How often do we limit what can be accomplished because we don't have big enough dreams?  We have this need to be able to touch and see it before we can imagine it.  We shoot down ideas simply because we have a limited view of what can be done.

What if we expanded our perception just a little?  What great things could happen if we really understood that nothing is impossible for God?  Better than understanding it, what if we lived that way?  What dreams have you given up on simply because they weren't realistic?  They seemed too big to happen?  You couldn't imagine how it could possibly happen so you gave up.  And a little bit of you dies.  We accept okay because we can no longer imagine the great.  We settle for what we can see with our limited perception of reality.

Dream big.  Don't lose your innocence of believing the impossible might just be able to happen.  Don't give in to the cynics and the critics.  They are a dime a dozen, but the dreamers are who will change the world. They see what could be and don't settle for what is only right in front of them.  Impossible says God is limited to our small imaginations.  Isn't believing in something beyond our imagination the same as faith?  We can't quite grasp it but we know in our hearts it is true.  It requires a leap into the unknown.

What has your limited perception kept you from doing?  Let's not be so quick to accept mediocrity and be willing to dream a little.

I ought to...

Finish this statement, I ought to________.  Now fill in this blank, today I will ________.  Which is easier to answer?  For me I like the "ought to" statement.  It is in the future.  It is a nice idea.  It is something that might happen.  It doesn't require anything of me now.  I don't think I am the only who has this tendency.

Someday we will get around to doing it.  We will make those changes we need to address when it is more convenient.  We will have those conversations that need to happen later this week.  We will start exercising/ eating better/having a devotion/________ tomorrow.  We like the idea, we just don't want to actually do it.  So we put it off and pretend it doesn't exist.  We hope that it will magically change without any work on our part.

Inconvenient, awkward, costly, sacrifice... that is what doing something now requires and that is why we avoid it.  But should we?  I have a love/hate relationship with the following quote - "Delayed obedience is disobedience."  I love the thought behind it, but sometimes I hate living it out.  When I know I am suppose to do something and don't... that is disobedience.  We can make it sound better by saying we will do it in the future, but the reality is that now is when we are suppose to do it.  We convince ourselves that we are too busy to fit it in today, but if we had the chance to go do that one thing we have really been wanting to do, I bet we could find the time.  So what are you putting off that needs to be done today?  Will you do it or will it be something you ought to do someday?

How did you get so lucky?

Ever caught yourself wanting what someone else has in their life?  Things like wishing you had a marriage like theirs, or had so and so's body, or had a prayer life like him, or that your kids were well behaved like theirs.  For me it is often my friends that seem to have a flexible enough work schedule that everything is done between 9 and 3 including working out, having a quiet time and getting to hang out with people and then going home on time to spend quality time with their families.  (If you are thinking I might be referring to you, I probably am.)

A couple of thoughts about this.  First, what we really want is the results and not the work to get there.  You want a prayer life that is incredible, then you have to make the time to spend in prayer each day which may mean getting out of bed a couple hours earlier or staying up after everyone else has gone to bed.  You want a marriage that is still amazing after 20 years, then you do the hard things along the way and learn what selflessness looks like.  You want to be healthy, then you make it a priority to eat right and exercise often.  We see the results and think how lucky they are.  The truth is that it takes work and commitment over time.  We want the instant gratification without sacrificing anything to get there.

Another thing is that we often don't see the whole picture.  We see a marriage or a family that looks perfect, but the reality is that they have their off days as well.  Days when they choose selfishness instead of love.  Days when their kids are driving them crazy.  Days when they are stressed with bills, and schedules, and trying to figure out how to divide 24 hours among all of the things demanding their attention.  Days when they choose to sleep instead of getting out of bed to have some time with God.  A day where they get to end of the day and realize they haven't spent any time thinking about God.  A day when they choose the dessert instead of the salad.  A day when they decide to sit on the couch and watch a movie instead of working out.  Hope this doesn't burst your bubble, but none of us are perfect.  We strive for looking like Jesus and do our best each day.  Some days we look more like Him than others.  The key is that the next day we try again.  The things worth having usually require us to keep working at them.

Finally, for those things you want, don't be bitter that they have what you want.  Celebrate that they have an amazing marriage.  Tell them how awesome they look and that you respect their willpower in eating healthy and working out.  Ask them to pray for you and be happy that they are so madly in love with Jesus.  And learn from them.  When you see those qualities in someone elses life that you desire, ask them what they do to have them.  Figure out how that works in your life and then start doing them.  It won't happen over night, but after time it might be you that someone is looking at wondering how you got so lucky.  

Concealment or confession

Why is confessing our sins so difficult?  For me the answer lies in my image.  Confessing means I bring out into the open the things that I struggle with, the sin that is in my life, the areas that I suck at... it shatters the nice little image I have in my head of having it all together.  It is awkward to start a conversation that requires my confession.  There is no easy way to transition into it.  And I think all of that is part of why we are told to confess.

Concealing our sin is about us and protecting our image.  Confession requires humility.  It means we have to sacrifice our egos and put our pursuit of Jesus as our only focus.  We realize we can't do it on our own.  Grace follows our willingness to be humble.  When we conceal our sins, we basically tell God we don't need His grace or trust Him to take care of us.  It is once again about us.

I see there being two steps to confessing.  The first is to lay it out before God.  For me this is the easier one.  He knows my thoughts, he knows who I am in the dark, he already knows the sins that I have done.  This step is matter of confessing to someone who already knows what I am there to talk about.  It is the first step to realigning myself with pursuing Jesus and a life that reflects righteousness and holiness.  It is tough because it shines a spotlight on the huge difference between what my life looks like compared to what Jesus has called us to live, but I know his love and grace will come easily.  The second step is confessing to someone else.  This is where the image is shattered for me.  To actually admit the ugliness that is in me.  To open myself up to correction.  To humbly admit I can't do it on my own.  This is where it moves from nice theory to the tough practical.  It may mean that I actually have to change.  Someone else knows my secrets and the sin that I have worked so hard to hide.  It no longer means just confessing to God when I sin again, but also that someone may ask me some very specific questions that will be awkward and tough to answer.

The strange thing to me is that everything in me yells to keep it to myself.  It isn't that big of deal.  I can handle it on my own.  They are busy with their own lives.  They will think less of me.  But the reality for me is that some of the people I most admire are those who have those tough conversations.  They live a life with humility that I want my life to look like.  They understand grace in a deeper way.  They are the ones who I see pursuing Jesus with their whole life.  They are the ones I look up to and want to model my life after.

So that is the choice we have with our sin, we can either confess it or try to conceal it.  There isn't a choice that lies in the middle.  What are you choosing today?  If it is to confess, then do it now.  Don't wait until it is convenient because it will never be that.  Don't wait until you have your life a little more together because we never have it all together.  Don't wait until you have the time, find someone and start that awkward conversation now.  Concealment or confession... it is your choice.

Simple, but not really

What does following Jesus look like to you?  It is simple really... whatever, whenever, wherever.  Well let me clarify that, it is simple to state, but really tough to live out.  What He asks for is all of us... whatever, whenever, wherever.

For me it often looks more like this.  I am willing to do certain things, but please don't ask me to get out of my comfort zone or do something that may be awkward or may cost me something.  Whatever really means what I feel like doing at the time.  And while we are at, I don't really want it to inconvenience me.  I mean I will sacrifice a couple of hours on Sunday morning so can't we squeeze it in then?  Maybe we justify that family time is more important than anything else Jesus may want us to do.  I mean His primary concern is that I have a happy family right?  I mean I know it is suppose to be about His glory, but really he understands that I am busy and can only give Him a little of my precious time.  And wherever definitely means right where I am at.  He wouldn't require me to go outside my comrfortable circle, would He?

Are we following or justifying how we already live? Removing myself is the toughest thing and that is what He asks.  He asks us to pick up our cross and follow Him.  A cross is about dying.  It is inconvenient.  It will require us to give up holding other things so that we can carry our cross.  It means whatever you are placing before Jesus must go.  Wherever He asks us to go, whether that is across the country or the world or across the street to your neighbor or to your family, we will go.  And it means now.  Not someday in the future.  Not after you are out of high school or college, not after you have a job or started your family, not after your kids are older or out of the house, not when you get married...now, this moment, daily.

Let's be honest, it isn't an easy call.  What do you need to do today to follow Jesus?  Not some general, good sounding generic statement, but specifically what does whatever, whenever and wherever look like in your life?  Tell someone.  Now follow Him.