Will you tell me no?

Two questions from Steven Furtick's blog struck me this morning.

• Do you have anyone in your life who won't let you go where you shouldn't go, and do what you shouldn't do?
• Are you surrounded by people who love you enough to stand in your way when you're about to do something stupid?

He was talking about buffer friends. You know, "the ones who talk you down from the ledge, and protect you from your worst enemy - yourself." Sometimes we are reckless. Sometimes we don't see the blind spots. Sometimes we are just plain foolish or unwise. Who is around you that will stop you from going there?

The other side of that is you not only have to have those people in your life, but you also have to be willing to open up to them. You have to let them know you are climbing up on the ledge. You have to talk them about the things you are planning. You have to be honest with them about what is going on in your life. If you don't do that, then what good is it to have them in your life. They can't stand in your way to protect you if they don't know about it. So not only is it important to find these type of friends, but then you have to let them into your life - your thoughts, your actions, your attitude - all of it. Otherwise you will still be jumping in those areas that might not be in your best interest.

So who are those people? Don't have any, then find some. Have some, then let them know how much they mean to you and thank God for them. Seems like the type of community we need to be surrounding ourselves with. Who needs another person around telling you to go for it? I need someone who is willing to tell me no or that something isn't in my best interest. Those seem a lot harder to find.

Out of sync or time for a change?

Out of sync or just a new rhythm? I am not really sure. How do you know the difference? Some things that were consistent now seem sporadic at best. For me, writing is one of those things right now. Part of the flow of my writing is based on the thoughts I have from what I am reading and the conversations that I am having. Those deep, challenging conversations that cover the important have been few and far between recently. I haven't really found a book that has captured my thoughts and expanded my perspective in a new way recently. A new rhythm or just a season?

I like change for the most part (I know. I am strange.), but have a hard time knowing when that change means letting go of something. So I struggle. Do I stop writing? Do I let some friendships drift off? Do I keep serving in the same ways? I like the new that change brings about, but struggle with the loyalty to the old. Have I given up something that I shouldn't or is it time to move on? I want the concrete answers, but at the same time am afraid of what those may mean. So I am left wondering, are things just currently out of sync or is a new rhythm developing?

Can you spot one?

Are you a Christian Atheist? Seems like a contradiction doesn't it? It is, but honestly, that is how we live sometimes. We say we believe in God, but we live like He doesn't exist. I had taken a little break from reading as much recently (actually just switched to more fiction, but you know what I mean), but Craig Groeschel's latest book caught my attention. It is called "The Christian Atheist" (and you thought I came up with the first question all by myself.) Not very far into the book so I can't tell you what it says, but honestly I was drawn to the book because I know I've been that person at times and struggle now with how to love that person.

Let me tell you the stories of two different guys I know. I crossed path with both of these guys at about the same time not that long ago. Both have jacked-up stories in how they arrived at where they are currently (don't we all in some way or another?) They both stated they wanted things to be different than the way they have been in the past. They wanted to pursue Jesus in all that they do. They both still struggle (I live in that tension all of the time and think most of us do) and they both still say they are trying to pursue Jesus, but the difference is when I look at their lives I can see that one of them lives his life trying to live that out and really in the other one I don't see any difference. He still says the right things but I don't see the fruit. See I think we fool ourselves sometimes and think we have people convinced that we are loving like God has called us to, but really, our lives give us away. See our actions show what is in our hearts. I am not saying, we will always get it right, but can't you tell the difference when someone is just talking a good show and when someone is living it out? I don't know what to do with a Christian Atheist. A messed up person trying to move forward... that person I understand and love. A person trying to convince me they have it all together, but not living it... that person I don't really want much to do with. Probably should, but really I don't have much desire to.

So back to the original question. Are you a Christian Atheist? Sounds a little harsh I know, but let's call it what it is. We only get one shot at this thing called life so let's give it all we got. Just believing really isn't enough, if we don't live it.

Basset hounds and friends

Never really thought of myself as having much in common with a basset hound, but after reading Amy's blog posts about their basset hound "Belle", I think I may have a lot in common with Belle anyway. Seriously, check out Amy's blog (... think about such things) which is linked to the right here. She is one of the most creative writers that I know whether she is talking about her relationship with her husband, the insights their kids provide or Belle's latest lessons, she paints an incredible picture of God for me.

Apparently not only do I have a lot of similarities with basset hounds, but I also had a conversation last night with a friend that as he explained where he was at in life right now I had this feeling like I was having a conversation with myself (I wasn't because there was another friend there as well). This is a rare occurrence for me (I can have those conversation with my friend Jeff, but those don't happen quite as frequently right now as it is a little more difficult to get together and hang out with him half way around the world.) See most of my friends' personalities or the way they process things aren't anywhere close to me. I love them and those differences expand my perspective and challenge me, but rarely does it make explaining something easy and I often doubt that they can really even understand me. I don't know that I was able to help my friend much last night, but for me it was so encouraging to just have that conversation. To hear someone verbalize the things that I struggle with and to realize that I am not the only one was so good for me. I think we all want to know that we are in this thing called life together. We may not verbalize it very often, but to know that we have other people to support us, listen to us, encourage us and challenge us is so important.

Who plays that role in your life? Do they know how important they are to you? Why not tell them today? They probably don't seek that out, but man, it could make their day.

Seeking...hearing...adapting

It's been one of those days where I can't seem to follow one thought all the way through. I catch a thread of an idea and then my mind wanders (or sometimes collides) into a totally different one. So a couple brief thoughts... well, really more questions than thoughts... for today.

Do you seek out input from others? It seems a lot of times that we disguise wanting to affirm our ideas as seeking input, but when we receive something that challenges our thoughts we reject it. That is not the kind of input we were wanting. People also seem cautious of giving real input when it is asked for. They seem to try to figure out what answer you are looking for and then give that as their input. Wonder if these two things are related? Just so you know, if I ask for input it is because I want it. I don't always like the things that challenge me, but I would much rather have that as an answer than what you think I might be looking for. People who challenge my thoughts help me grow. Not that I always like the process, but it gives me a new perspective to see from.

Hearing is not the same as doing. Matter of fact even saying something is not the same as doing it. Ever walked away from a conversation were someone understood what you were saying, but absolutely nothing changed? Or maybe even they promise to do such and such, but then there is no follow through. The default response I often get is "that is just the way I am". Also meaning accept it because I am not changing. We buy into the lie that we can't change who we are. Or is that we easily accept that because that means we don't have to do the hard work involved in changing? It might be tough, but if we understand a change is needed and it is a priority to us, shouldn't we be willing to actually attempt to change instead of just giving it lip service?

We have an amazing ability to adapt. I was thinking the other night about some different things and people that have crossed through my life and how I have adapted to those changes quite easily. Oh, it didn't feel easy at the time, but looking back it really didn't take that long to adapt. I was at a job for several years that added tremendous stress to my life. I adapted to that lifestyle. Then when I switched jobs a couple of years ago, I quickly adapted to a better work environment and to having a lot less stress. I had a friend I was really close to when they moved. We spent lots of time with them for several years and didn't know how things would look when they moved. We adapted. We changed and they changed. I have had some changes recently in my routine and the friendships I have. They have been difficult to adjust to, but if I can step back far enough from the situations I think I might be able to see that I will be able to adapt to those changes as well. Sometimes a look back at where we've been and what we've experienced gives a much needed perspective on the here and now.

A little disjointed in my thoughts, but randomness is a good thing right?