What do they have in common?

Thinking about a couple of different words this morning and wondering if they share a common ground.

I don't know if you have ever been repelling or not, but I've been a couple of times over the years and love it. The hardest part of repelling though isn't going down the side of the rocks. The hardest part of the climb is leaning back and taking that first step over the edge. Two things about that make it scary. One is that you have to trust the person down below you who is belaying your rope (or the pin if you don't have someone below). And the second thing is that it doesn't feel very natural to lean back over a ledge. You want to to step down and go that way, but it requires you to lean back laying almost flat out over the edge and then start walking down the side. Every part of you is screaming that you are going to fall or that you shouldn't do it that way. You think you know better and this just doesn't seem right. It comes down to how much are you willing to trust someone else. That can be tough sometimes. I was talking to friend last night who I have a hard time trusting sometimes. He doesn't always follow through on what he says he will do at times. So it comes down to if I am willing to let go of my insecurities and just trust him. It can be awkward and not feel natural because I don't want to let go and trust. It doesn't seem like the way I should do it, but I have to trust if I am going to step over the edge and have a friendship.

Trust is one word. The other word is forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't come naturally for me either. I want to hold on to the pain (Why in the world would someone want to do that? I have no clue, but I do at times.) and not forgive. I used to hold major grudges and not let things go. I would remember a slight from months before and not truly forgive someone. That is ingrained in me and something I still struggle with.

The common ground to me between trust and forgiveness is that it requires me to let go. If I am holding on tightly to my doubts, my fears, my hurts, whatever, then I can't let go. To trust means letting go of the illusion of control. To forgive means to let go of the wrongs (real or perceived) done to me. Both actions require me to let go. Both are my choice. Can you let go and trust? Can you let go and forgive?

The tough question is this... so what? So what are going to do in risking trust? So what are going to do about forgiving those in your life you need to forgive? Life isn't a theory exam. It requires us to take action. Hope you struggle throughout the day with this. I don't want to feel like I am the only one struggling to lean back over the ledge. What are you willing to let go of?

Knowing what you don't know

What is it that you don't know? Wait... you mean you can't tell me what you don't know? I know that isn't a very fair question, but isn't that basically what we are doing when we say we can do it on our own. I wonder if when we approach life thinking we can handle it all by ourselves, how much do we miss?

These areas we don't see are our blind spots. We fool ourselves into thinking just because we don't see a problem, there isn't one. Sometimes it is by choice we don't see things, other times it is because we just don't recognize it. What happens when you are driving and decide to switch lanes and there happens to be another car in your blind spot? A wreck will most likely happen. The same can be true in our lives. We don't see the problem in what we are doing. We are moving along at high speeds and not even aware that we may be headed towards a lot of potential pain and trouble.

Fortunately I have people in my life who are willing to help me see those areas in my life. It may be a little painful to hear sometimes, but a little correction now is a whole lot better than the wreck that may be around the next curve. Why do we insist on trying to do it on our own? Pride maybe? Selfishness possibly? I honestly can't think of a good reason not to have others around to help us. Have you bought into the lie that you can do it all on your own? Maybe you can do it right now and maybe you miss the huge wreck waiting to happen, but why take the chance? Are you willing to seek and listen to the input of others? It may mean the difference between a little discomfort now versus the possibility of trying to pick up the pieces after a wreck.

Really? It is not about you

Really? I have my IPod turned up and my noise reducing ear buds in. There is probably 20 people around on the cardio equipment. Lots of white noise and I can still hear you talking. I really don't need to hear about your daughter's high school drama (by the way, she would probably be horrified to know that you are unintentionally sharing it with 20 complete strangers). Not everyone cares about your thoughts and opinions. It is not about you.

Really? You have somewhere that important to be. You fly by me to make it through the yellow light, only to be sitting beside me at the next one. You dodge and weave as if you are making great progress in getting there. Wait, you are stopping at Starbucks? That was the rush. Not a dire emergency? Your coffee wouldn't be there if you arrived 30 seconds later (I understand that some people need coffee to get going in the morning, but does it have to be at the risk of my life?) It is not about you.

Really? We haven't talked in months and after the customary "How are you?", you start talking about yourself. I... blah, blah, blah... and then my... blah, blah, blah... me... blah, blah blah... me, me, me. Yeah, I am interested in the things goings on in your life, but it isn't all about you.

Really? Again with what you want? You do realize that things don't revolve around you, right? There are other people who exist. They have problems... probably bigger than most of yours. There are people who have real needs, not just more wants. You do realize it is not about you... wonder how many times God thinks this about me? I can be amazingly selfish. Wrapped up in my own little world without a thought about others. Seems like if I can get that simple command (simple to understand, a heck of a lot harder to live) to love Him and love others then maybe I won't be so obsessed with myself. Really it is not about me.

Comparison - the great demotivator

I've been trying to get back into a more normal workout routine (thanks Shanna for that inspiration). I believe that discipline often leads to desire. I can't say that I look forward to getting up at 4:30 to go to the gym, but I do like how I feel after working out instead of just talking about it or thinking it would be a good idea.

As I was working out this morning, I noticed how ripped most of the people there looked. I also noticed that when I get to a machine and start adjusting the height, etc. that I almost always have to lower the weights from the person that was on it before me. The person running beside me on the cardio equipment seems to still be going strong at the 45 minutes mark without breaking much of a sweat while I am hoping to finish strong at 30 minutes. The comparison to those who are faster, stronger, better built, and more disciplined can wreck the desire to workout. I want to look like that now, not 6 months from now. Comparison and instant gratification can be the enemy of discipline.

The truth of the matter is that comparison and instant gratification can be demotivating in our Christian life as well. I am way more messed up than that person. That is the sin they are concerned about? They would be devastated by the things I struggle with. They read their Bible for an hour while I struggle to get in a solid 10 minutes. They manage to pray for everyone and spend hours doing it. I am doing good some days to spend a few minutes with God. They seem to have their life all together, while mine feels like it is barely holding together some days. Comparison to others can wreck our desire to be like Jesus. Jesus didn't seem to be concerned that we look like the person next to us, he just wanted us to love him and love others. I can do that. It doesn't come with the expectations that I have it all together right now, just that I am trying. Kind of like my workouts, it doesn't matter that I won't be competing in the next Olympics. It matters that I am moving forward and trying to be disciplined. What comparisons are robbing you of moving forward? Honestly, they are your hang-ups and not God's. He loves you as much when you are the 98 pound weakling as when you can bench press 500 pounds.

Bright days

What brightens your day? This week for me, the following statement in an e-mail did it... "Just checking in". Nothing profound or something that took a lot of time or energy, just the simple fact that a friend practically loved me. He cared enough about me to continue to invest in my life. Out of the 24 hours he was given that day, he chose to spend part of it on me.

The big things may get our attention, but out in the margins is where life happens for me. The margin in my life is where relationships happen. My relationship with God, my wife, my friends... all of those happen in the margin. If I run at full speed with no room or time for others then I miss out. Busyness doesn't allow me to love or be loved, it just keeps me busy with things. The next thing on my never-ending list, the thing that will promptly be forgotten in 24 hours, the project I want to get done... all of those have a place, but they shouldn't push me to the limit. I can't sustain the pace of living life at the limit. It crowds out the important and it happens oh so easily. We convince ourselves that we are busy, maybe even busy doing good things, and that what we are doing is important. It may be true, but if we don't have margin for our relationships, then what does it matter?

So what brightens your day? Maybe the more important question is how are you going to brighten someone else's day? If you are at the limit, then it might be pretty tough to allow either.