We assume that others want the same things we want. We assume that others see and process things the same way we do.
You want to climb the corporate ladder and are willing to sacrifice time and energy to move up it. You assume that everyone else is motivated by the same goals and defines success the same way.
You are spontaneous and enjoy having an open agenda that allows you to just go with the flow. You don't like structure and assume everyone else thrives in the same environment.
You value quality time and just want to hang out and talk. You assume that is energizing for everyone else as well.
None of these are bad, but it isn't the way everyone thinks. We assume the way we process things is where everyone else starts out as well and that can be costly. Those assumptions could burn people out, drive away the people who enjoy structure and cost a friendship.
Sometimes we need to walk in someone elses shoes. Try to understand where they are coming from. Ask lots of questions to understand what motivates them and how they are wired. It may be similar or it may be very different from you. If you are different, neither way is necessarily better than the other, but you have to work at understanding how they see things. We've got to lose the assumptions. The assumption that we are right and everyone else is wrong. The assumption that our way is the only way. The arrogance that comes from assuming we are the norm and anything different is just weird. We have to stop assuming before the costs gets too high.
It will take hard work. It will take admitting we are wrong sometimes. It will take humility and sacrificing the need to have it our way. To quit assuming may be tough to do, but you know what they say happens when you assume... it may just make an ASS out of U and ME.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Code word "opportunity"
Here is an "opportunity" for you... those words strike fear in me. A lot of times that is polite business talk for "I have some crappy work for you that is going to take lots of time and energy." Opportunity = hard, thankless work.
What do you do when you are presented with difficult times or a situation that is less than ideal? Those really are opportunities. Opportunities to respond in love or grace. Opportunities to not complain and not be selfish. Opportunities to press into Jesus even though, or maybe because of, the situation feels out of control.
Now that doesn't mean it won't be hard work. It may be trying. It may seem like you are alone in you efforts. Difficulties, or opportunities if you like, are still difficult. It doesn't mean you just try harder. It doesn't mean you put on a "happy face" and pretend things are just great. I have a friend who is always doing GREAT! when you ask him how he is doing. I don't trust that because that isn't my reality. I have struggles. I have times when I question if I have clue in being a parent (so do my children), I have times where life feels overwhelming, I have financial pressures, I have times where I feel distant from God, I have times where I feel all alone... I also have times where things are great, times when life is fun, times when I feel like I am truly pursuing Jesus with my whole life. Life is a mixture of difficulties and joy.
The difficult times are often where character is developed. It is an opportunity. An opportunity to continue to make wise choices even though it is difficult. An opportunity to trust God even when it doesn't make sense to us. An opportunity to respond in love even when the world says to get even. The push and pull of life can be tough, but it is also where we can be shaped. It is easier to have joy when things are going your way, but when I see people respond with joy in the "opportunities" of life, that is when I take notice. When I see someone choose to forgive, even though their current "opportunities" in life may be justified in responding harshly. Those difficulties really may be opportunities to impact someone. It may not feel much like an opportunity, but it may be having a greater impact than you realize.
So what are you going to do with your "opportunities" today? Run and hide? Fake it and pretend it is great? Trust there is a purpose and approach it with joy? You get to choose how you respond to life's opportunities.
What do you do when you are presented with difficult times or a situation that is less than ideal? Those really are opportunities. Opportunities to respond in love or grace. Opportunities to not complain and not be selfish. Opportunities to press into Jesus even though, or maybe because of, the situation feels out of control.
Now that doesn't mean it won't be hard work. It may be trying. It may seem like you are alone in you efforts. Difficulties, or opportunities if you like, are still difficult. It doesn't mean you just try harder. It doesn't mean you put on a "happy face" and pretend things are just great. I have a friend who is always doing GREAT! when you ask him how he is doing. I don't trust that because that isn't my reality. I have struggles. I have times when I question if I have clue in being a parent (so do my children), I have times where life feels overwhelming, I have financial pressures, I have times where I feel distant from God, I have times where I feel all alone... I also have times where things are great, times when life is fun, times when I feel like I am truly pursuing Jesus with my whole life. Life is a mixture of difficulties and joy.
The difficult times are often where character is developed. It is an opportunity. An opportunity to continue to make wise choices even though it is difficult. An opportunity to trust God even when it doesn't make sense to us. An opportunity to respond in love even when the world says to get even. The push and pull of life can be tough, but it is also where we can be shaped. It is easier to have joy when things are going your way, but when I see people respond with joy in the "opportunities" of life, that is when I take notice. When I see someone choose to forgive, even though their current "opportunities" in life may be justified in responding harshly. Those difficulties really may be opportunities to impact someone. It may not feel much like an opportunity, but it may be having a greater impact than you realize.
So what are you going to do with your "opportunities" today? Run and hide? Fake it and pretend it is great? Trust there is a purpose and approach it with joy? You get to choose how you respond to life's opportunities.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
A little bit random
"Today I don't feel like doing anything" - The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars
"La, la, la, whatever, la, la, la, it doesn't matter, la, la, la, oh well, la, la, la" - Tonight, Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae
Those are two of my favorite songs right now. Probably a coincidence that they also describe my mood pretty well. It has been one of those crazy weeks (or six months) where there seems to be an endless supply of demands for my time. As I told one of my friends, it seems like I have pressure coming from 9 different directions in any given day. Hard to be motivated when you know the next day is going to be just a busy as the current one and there is no end in sight. So the idea of a day of not doing anything sounds pretty good. Imagine a day of just fun. Sleeping in, maybe reading some of that book you can never seem to get to, or watching the entire season of "Studio 60", having a two hour lunch date with your wife, catching a movie in the afternoon, or taking a nap (not high on my list, but my wife would appreciate that), hanging out with friends, playing outside, going for a bike ride... not having anything you had to do but just a day to do whatever. What would you do with a day like that?
Not sure why it is called the rat race, but I guess that would make me a rat these days. We weren't meant to run full speed all of the time. Rest is essential. We may have different ways of resting, but God created us to enjoy life. We just need to stop and enjoy it. What do you find enjoyment in doing? Give yourself a break today and enjoy it. Take an hour, half a day, or the whole day and rest. Go ahead, tell your boss I said it was okay. Make time in your schedule to rest. Don't worry, the rat race will still be there when you get back. You won't miss anything, but you might actually be energized in a way you haven't been in quite awhile. La, la, la, whatever, la, la, la, it doesn't matter, la, la, la, oh well, la, la, la...
"La, la, la, whatever, la, la, la, it doesn't matter, la, la, la, oh well, la, la, la" - Tonight, Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae
Those are two of my favorite songs right now. Probably a coincidence that they also describe my mood pretty well. It has been one of those crazy weeks (or six months) where there seems to be an endless supply of demands for my time. As I told one of my friends, it seems like I have pressure coming from 9 different directions in any given day. Hard to be motivated when you know the next day is going to be just a busy as the current one and there is no end in sight. So the idea of a day of not doing anything sounds pretty good. Imagine a day of just fun. Sleeping in, maybe reading some of that book you can never seem to get to, or watching the entire season of "Studio 60", having a two hour lunch date with your wife, catching a movie in the afternoon, or taking a nap (not high on my list, but my wife would appreciate that), hanging out with friends, playing outside, going for a bike ride... not having anything you had to do but just a day to do whatever. What would you do with a day like that?
Not sure why it is called the rat race, but I guess that would make me a rat these days. We weren't meant to run full speed all of the time. Rest is essential. We may have different ways of resting, but God created us to enjoy life. We just need to stop and enjoy it. What do you find enjoyment in doing? Give yourself a break today and enjoy it. Take an hour, half a day, or the whole day and rest. Go ahead, tell your boss I said it was okay. Make time in your schedule to rest. Don't worry, the rat race will still be there when you get back. You won't miss anything, but you might actually be energized in a way you haven't been in quite awhile. La, la, la, whatever, la, la, la, it doesn't matter, la, la, la, oh well, la, la, la...
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